Work Drinks – The show begins with Larry (David Walmsley) entering a flat, where Zeppo (Stephen Walters) and Moe (Sam Hazeldine) are in the kitchen. Zeppo is thrilled to see him because it means no black tea, which he describes as a “crime.” Zeppo refuses to let Larry be the first to drink from the container of milk, even though he claims to be thirsty. Larry explains how he had to walk to High Street, Zeppo tells him a corner store is closer from the opposite direction. Larry admits to working with people from Poland, Romania, and Bulgaria. Moe describes it as being like a “refugee camp.” Curly (Brian Vernel) enters the room as Moe grabs him a beer.

When Curly apologizes for being late, Moe suggests he has been lactating. They go on a rant about who is the best at FIFA and Call of Duty.  Moe reminds them of why they are there. Zeppo accuses him of just being afraid Moe will defeat him. Referring to Curly as an “armchair soldier,” he reminds them of his serving the country. He asks Curly about the number of people he killed. Curly repeats the question to him. Moe claims to have killed about 13 people, five of which he watched die. They receive an alert that their hostage video has been reviewed a million times. Larry and Zeppo cheer loudly. They expect about 5 million viewers will hand around for the main event. Curly suggests they check on their hostage, Hassan Ahmed (Antonio Aakeel) since he hasn’t made a peep.

Moe reminds him that Hassan cannot speak. Curly suggests if their hostage has a heart attack it could get complicated. Moe volunteers to do it. He puts on his before heading into the basement. Hassan stares at him in horror. Moe warns him to not yell for help once the tape is removed from his mouth. Hassan gives a nod of acknowledgment. Pointing to a device, he explains how it allows them to hear him. He threatens to kick his butt if the device turns from green to red. When he removes the tape, Hassan pleads with him to set him free. He tells him of their plan to cut off his head in the morning. Hassan frantically looks around the room.

At the MI5 headquarters, a news segment about Hassan’s kidnapping plays on the screen. Diana Taverner (Kristin Scott Thomas) attends a meeting to discuss Hassan. She gives them an overview of the case. The MI5 has been watching the kidnappers, “Sons of Albion” for about a year. She says the agency was aware of murmurs that the Sons of Albion were preparing for something like the kidnapping. Roger Barrowby (Kurt Egyiawan) describes the murmurs as “unhelpful” and “vague.” Leonard Bradley (Michael Fenton Stevens) reminds him that it is out of MI5’s scope. She says MI5 is monitoring about 17 right-wing extremist groups. Before leaving, she informs them that the kidnapping was not random as initially thought. They will need to reach out to the Pakistani ambassador upon her return.

Jackson Lamb (Gary Oldman) struggles with a window when Catherin Standish (Saskia Reeves) enters to alert him of River Cartwright (Jack Lowden) missing. Noticing he hadn’t been drinking, she asks if there is something wrong. He teases her about having her stomach pumped in the old days. She accuses him of slipping because he only taunted her once all day. He tells her that his workers are to be in the office doing nothing.

River visits a barbershop, where he meets James “Spider” Webb” who is getting a shave. River suggests he undergo electrolysis next. Webb accuses him of being jealous because his Slough House salary won’t support it. He tells him the purpose of his visit is to discuss Robert Hobden’s (Paul Hilton) USB flash drive. Webb dismisses Gino before scolding him for tampering with classified information. River says it’s understandable because they are nothing more than Slow Horses. He says feedback would be nice when he does a good job. Webb says he never does a good job. When he says thank you, Webb asks what it is for. River says it is being truthful about Hobden’s USB flash drive being nothing more than pi. Webb calls him a “twat” for accessing it.

Catherine has a flashback of calling for Charles when Lamb informs her that he is in the bath. She asks him to identify himself. He says, “Lamb.” Charles Partner (James Faulkner) walks into the room to see about breakfast when he sees Lamb. Charles is surprised to see Lamb because he was believed to be in Berlin. Catherine is brought back to the present when the coffee pot switches to off. She enters a room, where Min Harper (Dustin Demri-Burns), Louisa Guy (Rosalind Eleazar), and Struan Loy (Paul Higgins) are watching a news segment about the kidnapping. As she turns to leave, Struan realizes she is there. He asks if she would agree to acquire some raffle tickets. When she reluctantly agrees to purchase four raffle tickets, he tries to convince her to buy 10, A banging noise draws her attention to Roddy Ho’s (Christopher Chung) office, where River tries convincing him to check something for him.

Catherine asks where he had been. He claims to have gone for some air. She informs him of Lamb’s order for everyone to remain at their desk. He lies about Roddy helping him with an email issue. She questions the whereabouts of Jed Moody (Steven Waddington). Roddy reminds her that he is not Moddy’s “bit**.” As soon as she leaves, River starts badgering Roddy about accessing Hobden’s email. Roddy admits he can access his email but doesn’t understand why he should. He suggests it may be possible to save Hassan. Roddy denies knowing Hassan and doesn’t believe Regent’s Park would award them for helping. Pulling out his wallet, River asks him why he decided to rejoin the service. He refuses to make a move until River gives him something other than money. River claims to know why he was sent to Slough House. Roddy doesn’t believe him because even he doesn’t know. River reminds him of his grandfather, David Cartwright (Jonathan Pryce) who worked with MI5. Roddy warns him about bluffing. River assures him that it would be impossible.

Roddy’s attempt to access Hobden’s email because it is “air-gapped.” He explains how Hobden utilizes analog, not the Internet. River reminds him that Hobden has a computer. He says it doesn’t matter when he doesn’t utilize email or backup his files on the cloud. River asks if his only option is to get Hobden’s laptop. Roddy warns him about a potential thermite pot that can destroy the hard drive. Before he gets away, Roddy reminds him of his promise to tell him why he is at Slough House. He tells him the deal was for him to access Hobden’s email, which he was unable to do.

Catherine alerts Lamb of River’s return. He asks where River had been. She tells him his concern isn’t River. He questions the timing of Diana’s special operations of Hobden and how it coincides with Hannan’s kidnapping. When she tries to respond, he assures her that his question was rhetorical.

Sidonie “Sid” (Olivia Cooke) watches a news segment about the kidnapping. She returns to their office, where River is sorting through Hobden’s trash. He admits being curious about what Regent’s Park hoped to find in Hobden’s files. He believes the files are not what MI5 was looking for. A small packet from Hobden’s trash captures his attention. It appears to consist of some type of substance. He warns her to not get involved because it will probably end with him getting fired once and for all.

Diana meets Moody at a sports arena. Moody informed her head of security that Lab is running his own ops. He says Nick Duffy (Chris Reilly) claimed to be aware of what Lamb was doing. He admits to not believing Duffy because he thought Sid was a boy. She says Sid is a much better agent than him. She asks how he knows about Lamb’s ops. He pretends to not know what she is referring to. She scolds him for playing dumb and lying. He claims to have placed a bug in Lamb’s office because he didn’t trust him. She questions why it was never detected during the sweeps. When he doesn’t answer, she figures he was responsible for conducting the sweeps. She orders him to do something for her off the record.

Curly, Moe, Zeppo, and Larry watch the news. Moe warns them to never speak of the case once Hassan is dead. He suggests they pretend to not know each. Hassan informs them that he needs to go to the restroom. Moe threatens to find them if they say anything to anyone. When Hassan asks to utilize the toilet again, Moe and Larry laugh. Curly agrees to take him but makes a stop in the restroom first. He removes the lavatory cover to retrieve a cellphone. He appears to send a text before placing the cellphone back in its hiding place. When he returns to the living room, he claims there was no bucket for Hassan. Zeppo suggests there may be a bucket outside in the garden.  Moe agrees to take him. Larry covers his ears to block out the news.

Diana returns to Regent’s Park to be greeted by Duffy who asks about Moody. She refuses to tell him anything before asking about a potential breakthrough. Agent Singh (Bally Gilly) informs her that it is believed Hassan is being held in London. She questions what gives them the suspicion he is in London. Singh points out the wall behind Hassan is constructed from London brick. She tells him there are thousands of homes in London with that type of brick. He explains how the design of the London brick is connected to specific areas.

Moe tosses Hassan a metal bucket to utilize as a commode. Hassan is frightened by the sight of his pocketknife. He assures him nothing will happen until morning and afterward, they will return to their country. Hassan admits to being born in Britain. Moe orders him to put his hands and feet together before binding them. As he walks away, Hassan asks if he believes Winston Churchill would be proud of him for murdering him. He calls him a “coward. Moe reminds him of who was too cowardly to perform live at the pub.

At Max’s Café, Hobden tries to get in touch with several news reports, but with no luck. Theo “Max” Makris (Miltos Yerolemou) tries to alert Hobden about his change. He whispers to himself how Hobden had been coming to his restaurant for five years without ever leaving a tip. River makes a snide comment about it being his lucky day as he makes his exit. When Hobden tosses his cellphone in a trashcan, River retrieves him. Hobden hops on a commuter bus before River can catch up. When the bus stops a short distance away, he switches to another bus going in the opposite direction. He unknowingly takes a seat in front of River.

Lamb orders Standish to get Diana on the phone. Struan enters Lamb’s office as Standish leaves. Refusing to purchase any raffle tickets, Lamb orders him to leave, but not without calling him a “di**head.” Lamb is upset that someone else returned his call, not Diana.

Louisa watches the news on her cellphone before she prepares to leave the office. She says Hassan will be killed in the morning. Min suggests they may find him before then. Struan reminds them of their date plans. Louisa claims to have a date with a friend. Min says he must babysit.

River is sitting in his car when Sid pecks on the window. He demands to know what she is doing. She admits to doing the same thing as him. He discusses his surveillance of Diana without her knowledge. She boasts her surveillance skills are superior to his. He tells her about Roddy’s prediction that Hobden may utilize a thermite pot to disintegrate his computer. He admits to finding evidence that Hobden was producing iron oxide, an ingredient required to make thermite. She asks how he was able to convince Roddy to help him. He claims to know why Roddy was sent to Slough House. It seems as if Roddy was moved for being an “insufferable prick.” He questions if it would be possible for Roddy to figure out why Lamb is at Slough House.

He tries to convince her to tell him why she is at Slough House, but she refuses. He tells her his plan to access Hobden’s laptop after he goes to sleep.

Louisa visits a restaurant, where Min is having a drink. They remind each of their lying excuses to not spend the evening with Struan. She admits to having no friends. He tells her about everyone shaming him for leaving a classified file on a commuter train. The public knew before he did. He says his wife, Clare showed him no compassion, just called him a “fu**ing idiot.” She asks how about their relationship, now. He says they have filed for divorce. They look up at the TV to see Mr. Abdul Ahmed (Ravi Aujla) and Mrs. Fatima Ahmed (Melissa Suppiah) talking about their son’s kidnapping.

Standish drops off some folders at Lamb’s office. As she puts out his cigarette, he orders her to get Roddy, even though he has already left for the day.

Hassan struggles to stand up with his hands and feet bound. After falling to the floor, he discovers a vulnerable wall made of wood. He removes one of the panels.

When Sid receives a call from Aunt Zadie, she claims to be monitoring him right now. River asks who she was talking to. Sid admits to utilizing the fake name just in case her phone was stolen. He questions if she was referring to Hobden. She comes clean that Aunt Zadie is Diana who wants her to watch him. Diana sent her to Slough House to watch River. They spot someone walking past a building. They go after the individual. River enters an apartment to find a man, with a gun to Hobden’s head. When a pan on the stove blows, a struggle between River and the unknown suspect ensues. The suspect knocks River out before trying to flee the scene when he runs into Sid. She tries to wrestle his gun away from him but is shot in the head. He calls 911 while Hobden’s apartment goes up in flames as the episode comes to an end.

 

Slow Horses Review

I was hoping to see some improvement from the last episode. Unfortunately, none was noted. As before, the scenes are long, boring, and repetitive. Nothing worth mentioning unless you consider Sid getting shot as exciting.

The show fails on nearly every level as far as entertainment goes. The plot is uncompelling, as there is no evidence of anything of the sort ever happening in Britain. The kidnappers kill Hassan because of his religious beliefs to get a pat on the back from their country.

It is hardly doubtful, any worker would tolerate such workplace cruelty. The show makes the Slough House workers appear to have not one ounce of dignity.

I will say the acting is spot-on, just a terrible screenplay.

The focus should have been on the MI5 miscasts, not some mediocre rubbish. Get more Slow horses recaps here. Support Reel Mockery by clicking the link.