As the third episode begins, Masha (Nicole Kidman) stands on the edge of a cliff and says they will give themselves to the earth today before plunging into the water down below. She comes out of the water and screams loudly. That wakes Napoleon (Michael Shannon) and he wakes Heather (Asher Keddie). Meanwhile, Jessica (Samara Weaving) and Ben Chandler (Melvin Gregg) try to have sex, but neither is into it. As for Tony Hogburn (Bobby Cannavale) he is in terrible shape when he wakes up to use the bathroom. Heather learns her husband is overly excited for his one-on-one with Masha although he isn’t sure what to expect. He asks what he can do but Heather believes they should just ride it out. Masha gets a message that seems to bother her. Delilah (Tiffany Boone) approaches, finds out something is wrong and asks about the threats Masha has been receiving.

Masha says she isn’t worried. Delilah wonders if it could be Connelly. Masha doesn’t believe so since she won with no negligence. Masha isn’t sure who it could be, but she names off her ex-husband and a stalker. She wants Delilah to trust her on this and says she shouldn’t worry so much. Next, Yao (Manny Jacinto) welcomes everyone to the third day. Everyone seems to be in a good mood except for Tony until his medicine arrives. France Welty (Melissa McCarthy) asks how he got it since she can’t even get an Advil and has a bad back. Carmel (Regina Hall) budges into their conversation and learns about the grape incident. Yao reminds everyone that they’re going to be fasting and they need to take it very seriously. They’re told they can eat whatever they forage for outside. Lars Lee (Luke Evans) speaks up and says he’d like to talk since he has tension.

He wants to know what is going on between Jessica and Ben. They get upset when Frances interrupts and says it is more about what isn’t going on. Ben says Lars is acting like a dick and Carmel joins in on that argument. Yao eventually interrupts and tells them about the day’s events which include a potato sack race. Frances and Tony are excused while Napoleon is extremely excited about it and Carmel wants to join his team. Lars says he wants to jump into the sack with Jessica although he is gay. He wants nothing to do with Carmel who terrifies him. She begins choking him but that is quickly broken up. Delilah tells Masha about the incident moments later. They argue about it a bit, so Masha says it is good they challenge each other. Yao interrupts and says Lars is fine. Yao says he appreciates Delilah and Masha says she loves her team.

Meanwhile, Tony suffers with his pain and remembers being hurt while playing football. Frances runs into him in the hallway and asks how he is feeling. Tony pretends he is fine. She asks Tony not to tell anyone about her internet scam thing and says she only told him because she didn’t think he’d judge her. He agrees to keep her secret before they join the meditation session. Masha pays more attention to Tony who continues thinking about his brutal football injury. Moments later, Frances is surprised to find that Tony is going to take part in the sack race. There is a little trash talking before the Marconi family and Carmel take on the others. Jessica’s cartwheel move leads her team to victory. The others complain that they cheated, but Yao says it is legal. Jessica admits she used to be a cheerleader.

Then, they’re sent to live on their own and live on what they find. Masha gets a message and video confirming someone has been stalking her. Next, Napoleon shows up for his one-on-one with Masha. They briefly talk about Heather who is better now. Napoleon is given the chance to start over. This time, he says Heather is broken because their son took his life. He pretends he is fine although he was grief stricken for some time. He admits he still hurts before talking about his career. He says he tells his students to be the master of their own fates. He goes on to say the loss was difficult, but he is not broken. She asks Napoleon to close his eyes, breath, and picture his son Zach (Hal Cumpston). He doesn’t want to do that though.

She tells him to picture whatever he wants so he can leave. Sure enough, he sees his son but pretends otherwise. Masha agrees to let him go. He returns to the others and Yao tries to help them find food. Tony tells Yao he isn’t feeling the effects of his medicine and doesn’t play well with others when he is like that. Ben recognizes him as Smiley and Napoleon does too. The latter wants to know what happened. Tony tells Ben he is not talking to Smiley Hogburn anymore because it is just Tony now. Meanwhile, the women are guided by Delilah who promises Jessica she won’t need to bite the head off of a snake to prove herself. Heather sings a song that her son used to sing. Delilah gets naked and tells the others this part is completely optional before getting into the water. Heather gets undressed and follows her in.

Carmel tells Jessica that her kids would love her Instagram. Jessica sees her more as a Facebook lady. Zoe (Grace Van Pattern) is mortified by her mother while Delilah tries to get Frances to join them. Carmel approaches Jessica and warns her not to talk to her like that again. Jessica insists Carmel has been dismissing her all this time. She tells Carmel to screw off and that upsets her more. Yao leads the men to a tree with one avocado and that upsets them too. The women enjoy the water while the men try to find food. Ben and Lars try to get Tony to tell them when he started taking oxy. Ben keeps insulting Lars while Napoleon admits his family’s drama has been on full display. Ben tells Tony he has watched him hurt his knee hundreds of times. Lars wants to know more about Ben’s story.

Ben claims he never did anything and won $22 million in the lottery. He says he used to drive a catering truck and didn’t make a lot of money. However, the job had meaning. When he suggests everything loses meaning after that, Lars says he still has Jessica. Ben accuses him of stirring up crap. Napoleon says Lars took a crap all over Ben’s moment of honesty, but Ben doesn’t want people to feel sorry for him. Napoleon says he feels sorry for Lars before Tony asks if they can go. Delilah and the women take a dip, and she tries to get them to talk about their feelings. Carmel brings up her recent argument with Jessica who reminds her she dismissed her. Jessica complains about Carmel’s comments about her Instagram before admitting she checks it every morning to make sure people still think she is pretty.

Jessica doesn’t think she is pretty so she quickly names everything she hates about herself. Carmel tells them her husband left her for a pretty woman so that makes her want to punch pretty women sometimes. Frances talks about not being there and just recording everything for reference. Heather wants to talk about the last time they had sex and reveals it has been three years ago for her. She begins talking about Napoleon having an affair with Frances who can write about it after. They worry about her and ask if she is okay. Napoleon gets ill and Tony continues complaining. When they run into a goat, Tony suggests killing and eating it. Napoleon doesn’t like the idea, but the others seem okay with it. Tony chases it and remembers his glory days. When the women return, they’re welcomed back by Glory (Zoe Terakes). They say it was wonderful until they hear a yell in the distance and see Tony with the goat.

Masha finds out while Frances calls Tony barbaric. Lars believes Masha wanted them to be barbaric and she admits she did. She says they’ll have a grand banquet with wine. Tony stops Glory and demands to take his real pill right now so she agrees to get it. Yao checks on Masha who is distraught. He tries to comfort her. That night, everyone dances around the fire. Tony talks to Frances who can’t wrap her head around killing the goat. He blames her for thinking he was going to be sweat. They talk about Tony’s football days and her problems. Napoleon and his daughter chat about Heather having fun and how it is concerning.

Lars approaches Delilah to complain about someone taking things from his room. She knows he is talking about an Apple Watch and things to take pictures. She tells him he might need some puppy training. Masha joins them and they celebrate a successful Earth Day. Napoleon stands up and gives a eulogy to the goat while talking about sin. Then, he begins talking about suicide and how there often aren’t any signs. He claims their first thought after swallowing the pills or jumping is, “my god, what have I done”. He says Zach was impulsive and they were up together the night before his suicide. After hitting the snooze button on his iPhone, he was awoken by his wife’s scream two minutes after Zach hung himself. He wonders if things would’ve been different if he had just gotten up.

He talks about laying the hand on top of the goat’s head and we see in a flashback that he killed the goat in question. Heather comforts him before asking if Masha has been medicating them. She only smiles at them as the episode ends.

 

Nine Perfect Strangers Review

I really can’t force myself to get into Nine Perfect Strangers. I would normally like deep, emotional shows like this, but Nine Perfect Strangers doesn’t do anything for me. The story is too drawn out while the humor falls flat. I’ve been unable to develop relationships with any of the characters and honestly find most of them obnoxious especially Napoleon.

I wish it was better, but the show lacks charisma, personality, and the pace is tedious. Will I continue watching? Possibly but only to recap the show. I couldn’t see myself watching this series for entertainment purposes. The episode is given a 6.5 out of 10. All future recaps of Nine Perfect Strangers can be found on Reel Mockery here.