Bin Chicken – As the fifth episode of Heartbreak High begins, Malakai (Thomas Weatherall) wakes up and leaves after having a threesome with Harper (Asher Yasbincek) and Dusty (Josh Heuston). Amerie Wadia (Ayesha Madon) wakes up and checks her text messages with Malakai. Darren (James Majoos) and Ca$h (Will McDonald) reach Darren’s place before he invites him in. Darren offers to ditch work so they can hang out, but Ca$h thinks he should get home. They make out furiously before stopping and saying they’ll see each other at school. Before going to school, Darren plays with himself while watching adult videos in his room. Amerie watches a meme someone made using the video of Malakai getting slammed by the police officer. Quinni (Chloe Hayden) says it started circulating over the weekend.

No one is sure who made it. The girls start mocking Darren about his relationship with Ca$h. As Malakai walks through the school, he hears other students listening to the video. Harper catches up with him to see how he is doing. He claims he is doing okay even though he doesn’t remember much of it because he was so drunk. He’d rather just forget it. They agree that Amerie can never find out. As Harper leaves, Amerie sees them talking from a distance. She approaches him to find out why he hasn’t been responding to her texts. Malakai claims his phone has been playing up, but she doesn’t believe that. Malakai claims he just needed some time before he offers to make it up to her. She agrees to come so they can talk properly. Amerie tries to kiss him only for Malakai to prevent her from doing so.

They go to the assembly where Woodsy (Rachel House) tells everyone that Hartley High has been selected to kick off the city of Sydney Interschool Basketball Semifinals. She believes that will bring some much-needed positive attention after the map debacle. She wants the students to help clean up the school. The student who picks up the most rubbish will receive a $50 Playstation gift voucher. Quinni immediately says she wants it. Missy (Sherry-Lee Watson) isn’t interested in cleaning up, especially in the girl’s bathrooms. Sasha (Gemma Chua-Tran) suspects Quinni will be the trash queen, but Darren doesn’t think she should encourage her. They claim he is just jealous. Darren denies it because he isn’t going to clean up rubbish after white people. Sasha thinks she can get the environment club to come pitch in. She admits she’d do that for her trash queen.

Spider (Bryn Chapman Parish) talks to Dusty about his sex dream as Harper joins them. Harper pulls Dusty aside to make sure they’re good. He says they are.  Jojo (Chika Ikogwe) talks to her students about porn and how it creates unrealistic expectations about porn. Quinni thinks it can help you find out what you like. Darren thought he learned everything he could about gay sex from porn but it wasn’t real. He talks about having to douche first. Spider interrupts before Darren accuses him of being jammed in the closet. Missy says porn is hectic so she doesn’t want sex if that’s what it is. Amerie thinks it is all about getting a guy off and not much about what girls want. Jojo wants to talk to them about their pleasure. Quinni wants the Playstation gift voucher while Sasha wants a good almond milk. Ant (Brodie Townsend) admits he would like his dad to be proud of him.

Jojo talks about the importance of talking to your sexual partners about what you want because sex doesn’t have to be physically or emotionally painful. Jojo wants them to put things in the box that they like and derive pleasure from. During the next class, they’ll go through them and normalize expressing their wants and desires. While cleaning up the school grounds outside, Darren gets into an argument with Jenny because he is making more of a mess. Amerie and Quinni check on him to find out what is going on. He explains he is getting mixed signals from Ca$h who hasn’t made a move yet. They kissed and it was hot, but there should’ve been more. Amerie suggests he just wants to take things slow. Darren complains he is horny all the time. Quinni recommends asking him on a date while Amerie says he can pull him into a classroom and force him.

As Darren considers his options, Quinni rushes to pick up the most garbage. A bit later, Ca$h realizes Darren is dropping rubbish for him to pick up. Darren denies it before Ca$h invites him to hang out at his place tonight. Darren quickly agrees. Woodsy checks on the basketball team as Spider takes the ball from Malakai easily. He is distracted because he keeps thinking about what happened with Dusty and Harper. Ca$h Arkell (Stephen Hunter) talks to them about the upcoming game and asks them not to let Hartley down. Woodsy checks on Malakai since she saw the video of him and the police officer. Malakai steps into the showers and begins thinking about the other guys sexually. He comes back to reality seconds later. When Darren meets with Ca$h, he learns they’re going to have to take his grandma to game night. She jokes that Ca$h is just waiting for her to die so he can take her money.

Nan (Maggie Dence) offers to give Darren her collection of porcelain cats. She introduces everyone to Dougie’s friend from schwork, Darren. They’re introduced to Sue, Lim, and George. Nan warns them to be cautious around George (James Charles) because he gets touchy-feely when he is drunk. Ca$h wants to leave while Darren thinks they can stay for one game. Meanwhile, Malakai talks to Amerie about getting a tattoo of a scorpion on his leg because they’re sick. As for Amerie, she would get a love heart with the world “chippies” in it. Malakai knows about the video and he isn’t angry. Darren lets Nan beat him before George asks if he has anyone special in his life. George says he did in another life. He mentioned Teddy who was a biggun. The whole world stopped when they met because it was love. Darren believes they were lucky to have each other even if it was for a little bit. Harper meets with Dustry since he forgot about their date. He asks her to stay while he plays games with Spider and Ant.

After picking up their rewards, Malakai returns to Amerie who tells him that he can really dance. She thinks he should pursue it. Malakai is playing basketball and says she is looking at Hartley High’s star athlete. He is glad they did this. Amerie wants to talk about the other night because what the cop did was messed up. He wants to drop it and go back to how things were. Amerie reminds him that he never let her answer his question since he asked her to be his girlfriend at Mardi Gras. They flirt and prepare to play another game. Darren tells Ca$h that they wouldn’t have him back if he kept winning every time. Ca$h says he is sorry for their date being ruined. Darren begins kissing him before stopping and saying he’ll see him at school. Ca$h hits his steering wheel. The next day, Darren admits he doesn’t get him because he was closer to having sex with an 80-year-old man. Sasha suggests he just needs some incentive.

She recommends sending him a nude to show him what he is missing out on. Darren agrees that this isn’t him since he is being frigid. He wants them to help him get the best nude in history. Once he takes a picture he likes, he sends it to Ca$h who doesn’t respond. In class with Jojo, the students begin the exercise to normalize their wants and needs. When Missy pulls out a piece of paper, it says Harper liked being double dicked by Dusty and Malakai. Jojo makes Spider go to the office even though he says he didn’t write it. Amerie gets angry at Harper while Malakai tries to go after Spider who leaves in a hurry and laughs all the way. Jojo talks to Haper and Amerie in private. She tells them it isn’t cool or original to fight over boys. They’re told to do better for their own sake. Jojo asks Harper if she wants to talk about anything, but she says no. Then, Jojo gives the boys detention for the next week.

Dusty checks on Malakai who says he is good. Harper tells Amerie she thought they had broken up. She knows how it looks, but she was just trying to help because he was all alone. Harper checks her phone to find a message from Harper. In a flashback, Amerie asks Harper who is texting her. She won’t tell her who it is. In the present, Amerie says she is just now realizing she doesn’t know who she is. Once Harper leaves, Amerie finds the note under the desk. Malakai’s name has been added. Dusty and Spider tell Harper that they don’t know who wrote it. She wants to know what is going on with Dusty who has been avoiding her since Mardi Gras. He eventually reveals he is a little hurt because she wanted Malakai too much. Seeing her with him killed it for him. Dusty goes on to say he is going to need some space. Harper tells Missy and Sasha about it. They’re not happy that she slept with Malakai after he got assaulted by a cop and don’t believe she was trying to help him.

Harper says she didn’t plan any of this and they were all messed up. Once Missy says it is still wrong, Harper curses them and leaves. Ca$h learns that Nan has a date before she encourages him to invite Darren over. When he says he thinks he cooked it, she tells him to uncook it. Ca$h looks at Darren’s picture to get inspiration so he can create one for him. He accidentally calls Darren who ends up calling him back. Ca$h musters up the courage to invite him over while his nan is out. Darren comes over moments later. He is introduced to their pet Darude. Malakai tells Amerie he just wanted to forget that night because he felt like he lost something. He doesn’t want to lose her too. Amerie doesn’t understand why it had to be Harper. Malakai can’t do this since he feels like he doesn’t even know himself right now. Amerie insists she is there for him as a friend if he needs her. Darren asks Ca$h about not responding.

Ca$h promises it wasn’t a thumbs down. Instead, he says it was a major thumbs-up. He reveals he has never been sent a nude or taken a nude before. Darren looks through the pictures Ca$h was going to send to him. Darren jokes about them being tragic before saying he is going to kiss him. Ca$h asks if they can stay in this moment and invites Darren to stay the night. In the morning, Darren tries to get some, but Ca$h stops and says he doesn’t want that right now. Darren takes it as he doesn’t want him only for Ca$h to say it isn’t like that. He isn’t like Darren who believes he is just using him. Darren tells him he is done before storming out of the house and getting emotional outside. Before the basketball game, Jenny is declared the winner of the Playstation voucher. Malakai gets distracted during the game because he can’t stop thinking about the police officer. He ends up cursing his teammates and leaving.

Woodsy goes after him. Harper hears Spider telling Dusty that he is a wussy. She takes the microphone so she can apologize to Dusty for wanting it too much. Harper continues bashing him until Woodsy returns and takes the microphone from her.

 

Heartbreak High Review

This episode of Heartbreak High tested relationships and friendships while Malakai dealt with the aftermath of the police officer assault. Darren is eager to have sex with Ca$h who seems to want to take things a bit slower. Everyone has turned against Harper after it was revealed that she had a threesome with Malakai and Dusty after the police incident.

Dusty is even questioning their relationship. Sasha wanted to help Quinni pick up the most rubbish so she could win a $50 Playstation voucher only for Quinni to lose to Jenny. Amerie and Malakai have put their relationship on hold while he tries to deal with his ongoing issues. Despite some blatant issues, this episode of Heartbreak High was decent.

While the action and dialogue can be silly and cringe at times, the characters are mostly likable. It might not be revolutionary, but Heartbreak High is good for viewers looking for entertainment that plays heavily on progressive ideas. The episode scores a 6.5 out of 10. Recaps of Heartbreak High can be found on Reel Mockery here. Learn how to support our site and work at this link.