Renaissance Titties – As the second episode of Heartbreak High begins, Amerie Wadia (Ayesha Madon) and Harper McLean (Asher Yasbincek) stare at one as they arrive at school. A boy grabs Amerie’s bag, calls her a b!tch, and throws the bag into the air. Dusty Reid (Josh Heuston) stops and helps her pick up her belongings. Spider (Bryn Chapman Parish) joins them seconds later. Once he is told to shut up, he decides to go on his way. Amerie and Dusty talk about what happened after the cemetery. Dusty confirms the band is rehearsing later and they’re now calling themselves Chronic Fatigue. He reveals his dad is letting them throw a gig at his place on Friday night to raise money for the Global Women’s Project. Ant (Brodie Townsend) and Spider are handling the sales of the slap bands. Quinni (Chloe Hayden) and Darren (James Majoos) yell for Amerie to join them while calling her their new bestie. They wonder how the new guy is so popular already before discussing the slap bands.

Dusty approaches Harper to tell her that the cops caught up with Ant the other night, but let him off with a warning. She says he should’ve run faster. When Dusty touches her arm, Harper asks him not to because she scraped her arm. Amerie catches up with Ant to talk about the thing on Friday night. Ant doesn’t want to help her because she said Darren gave him a wristy. He claims it is all the same if you close your eyes. Ant says she really stuffed things up for him. His cousin told his aunt who told his grammy and she put it on Facebook. His mom is making him go to church more now. Amerie is sorry, but not selling her a slap band isn’t going to change anything. He tells her to talk to Spider. The kids watch a video about sex and the consequences. Sasha So (Gemma Chua-Tran) lets Quinni borrow her pen. Harper almost takes off her outer shirt until she realizes Amerie is wearing the same one.

When Quinni gets the pen from under the table, she finds a message about Harper. The students argue with their teacher about the video they just watched. Jojo explains it is trying to get them to consider the social consequences of sharing nude pictures with others. Missy jokes that people will see how hot she is, but Jojo stresses the risks such as revenge porn to the students. Sasha says people have been sharing nude pictures since the dawn of time so they’re like a human love language. Jojo recommends protecting themselves by not including their faces or wearing a mask. Woodsy (Rachel House) walks in to find out what is going on. When the other kids leave the room, Quinni tells Darren she needs to show him something. She flips over the table to show him the message about Harper sleeping with Dusty. Darren doesn’t think they should tell Amerie right now. Woodsy and Jim try to remove a dildo from the basketball backboard. Jojo admits they’re dumber for watching the video, but Woodsy says that is not the issue.

She complains that Jojo told the student to take naked pictures of themselves even though Jojo denies that. Parents with the P&C Committee are coming to see her to come up with an action plan to combat their sexually active teens. Although Woodsy asks her to stick to the curriculum, Jojo wants to come up with her own syllabus. Amerie interrupts to say they have to cancel SLTs. They’re all in SLTs because of her so she offers to take sole responsibility for everything. When the parents arrive, Amerie pleads with Ms. Woods to cancel SLTs. Woodsy promises to consider her argument before telling the parents to come to her office. Once Quinni tries to visit Nurse Carol, Sasha tells her she had to leave to give a kid an EpiPen. Sasha suspects it is Jacobs in year nine because the Bubble Boy is kind of a legend around these parts. Quinni thinks it must suck to feel like the whole world is out to get you even when you’re just sitting there breathing.

They begin talking about Paddle Pops and their favorite flavors. After discussing the nurse’s biscuits, Sasha asks if she finished that drawing from before. Quinni shows her the drawing while explaining it is her favorite book Angeline of the Underworld. Sasha calls it amazing. Nurse Carol interrupts and instructs them to get back to class. When Sasha leaves, Quinni notices that her heart rate is climbing. Amerie still wants to get a slap band for Friday’s party. When Quinni tells Amerie that she still has to give her pen back, Amerie tells her to give it back. Darren believes she wants to give more than a pen. Amerie and Darren give her tips for talking to Sasha, but Quinni can’t do it. She worries that she might not be her type or that Sasha may think she is weird. She could be into Missy still too. Outside, Amerie talks to Quinni about being unable to get a slap band. Amerie tries to make Sasha jealous so Quinni gets brave and walks right up to Sasha to tell her what she likes and doesn’t like about her.

When Sasha asks if she wants to hang out this weekend, Quinni quickly says yes. Quinni goes back to confirm she is talking about going on a date before returning to her friends. Amerie sees Harper changing her clothes and notices a big bruise on her side. Anne and Rivers talk about whether he is being used for his house. Anne says they once called her a black Karen before they agree that it is exhausting. Darren reads what his dad wrote while Amerie puts eyelashes on Guinni. Once they’re on, Guinni yells for them to remove the eyelashes. They talk about Sasha who has had like fifty girlfriends. Amerie insists none of them meant anything while Darren says she means everything. Rivers walks in and finds Darren reading his writing. He reminds him that he didn’t say he could read it. River says he doesn’t grab his stuff. Harper runs into Ant on her way to her aunt’s house. She claims she shaved her head because she wanted to. Ant is sitting outside because his mom is still angry about the map thing.

Ant asks if that is why she isn’t friends with Amerie anymore. It is dumb what she did so he doesn’t blame her. Amerie learns from Huma (Sandy Sharma) that bruises can last a few weeks depending on how bad they are. She tells her sister that Harper isn’t coming to taco night even though she usually does. She is asked if it is because Harper punched her in the head. Amerie looks at pictures of herself with Harper in her bedroom after that. She remembers hanging out with Harper and agreeing to let her stay at her place to protect her from ghosts. Cash told them to meet at gate four. At school, Harper goes to the boy’s bathroom so she can get her hair cut by Spider. Dusty sits in front of her all the while. Amerie approaches Spider later in hopes of getting a slap band. When he says the cost will go up to 100 soon, she calls him a mayonnaise f*ck. Malakai offers to give her his slap band. He believes she deserves to go if SLTs has been canceled. After that, she is called to the principal’s office.

When she goes to the office, Woodsy tells her they’re not canceling the class after all. They’ve landed on something that will help her engage more fully with the class. While working with Jojo, Amerie complains about everyone hating her. Jojo can top map b!tch though. She and a friend tried to break into the canteen in year nine. They got the roller door up a bit. While her friend got through, she got stuck halfway in and halfway out. Christie Chaka found out and stuck a Le Snak between her butt cheeks. From then on, everyone called her Le Crack. They broke into the canteen because they were hungry and her friend saved herself instead of helping her. Jojo suspects Amerie didn’t create the map by herself. Amerie thinks they were high. She confesses she might’ve told everyone they were canceled and that is why nobody has arrived. Jojo says they’ll have to make up for it after soon. When the other students arrive, they complain about it and remind Amerie that she said SLTs was canceled.

Once the class ends, Amerie apologizes to Dusty and says she could’ve sworn she was going to cancel it. Rivers asks Darren to give him updates regarding his whereabouts and clean up his stuff before going to work. She also tells him he can start paying rent since he has a job. Darren asks how much money he pays his mom in child support, but his father won’t tell him. He thinks his dad is disappointed that he didn’t turn out to be a masculine, rugby-loving car nut like the wankers in his novel. Darren says he just wants him to pay board so he can go home to his mother and continue to not be his problem anymore. Rivers insists it isn’t like that. Sasha finally arrives to her date with Quinni and tells her to avoid the samosas. Quinni struggles to get them a table while waiting for Sasha. At work, Darren is scolded for his attitude and told to do the bins before going home. As he goes outside, she runs into Ca$h (Will McDonald) who listens to him complain about paying board. Cash suggests he might not make enough.

When he asks what his place is like, Daon the back so he won’t let her in. Darren suggests he is planning on robbing him. The boss comes out with Cash’s food and tells Darren to go home. During their date, Sasha tells Quinni about her parents wanting her to work over the holidays. Quinni gets distracted by the people around them. While she goes to the bathroom to collect herself, Amerie and Darren try to get into Dusty’s party. That watch as Dusty’s father goes inside the party. Amerie keeps the security guard distracted by saying her name is Harper while Darren sneaks in. The bouncer has a picture of her with Map b!tch. A girl tells her that actions have consequences. Malakai tells her to come with him. He doesn’t care about committing social suicide by being caught with her. Malakai helps her climb over the wall so she can get into the party, but she ends up falling into the pool. She thinks she twisted her ankle. Malakai can’t stop laughing even though she says it isn’t funny. Once he helps her get out of the water, Harper says there is a bathroom upstairs.

Dusty finds Harper and admits he didn’t think she’d be into this kind of thing. She jokes that she loves it when straight boys pretend to care about women’s rights. He accuses her of hating anyone who tries to make an effort. She decides to walk away. Sasha and Quinni reach the party. Sasha thanks her for tonight before Quinni begins yelling for Darren. Meanwhile, Darren helps Amerie dry her clothes. They test some of the expensive perfume and cologne Dusty’s parents have in the bathroom. Quinni joins them and begins complaining about struggling to listen to anything Sasha was saying while Sasha looked at her like she was weird. Darren sends Amerie out of the bathroom so he can try to calm Quinni. Amerie goes into one of the bedrooms where she sees Dusty sitting on the bed. He suggests this is embarrassing. Amerie says it is so he should cancel the gig and tell everyone to go home. Since he can’t do that, she recommends getting out there and killing it.

Amerie gives him a piece of yarn back because it made her feel better when he gave it to her. She hopes it’ll do the same for him. They also kiss but get stopped when someone yells for Dusty. Ca$h is busy selling drugs at the party. Darren goes up to him to apologize because he shouldn’t always assume that he is up to something no good. Ian joins him and offers him a cocktail after giving him money. Once Dusty and his band prepare to play, they call themselves Renaissance Titties. Amerie is shocked when Dusty gives a shout-out to Harper. He says this song is for Harper. When Harper storms out of the building, Amerie follows her to find out what is going on. Harper insists she didn’t know he was going to do that. Amerie believes she hooked up with the boy she has been in love with for almost five years. Harper claims it just happened and she didn’t even want to hook up with him. Quinni tells Darren that she is good to go now. She goes up to Sasha to say she likes her, but she freezes up sometimes.

Sasha wishes she’d show that she makes her excited instead of acting like she bores the crap out of her. Quinni eventually blurts out that she has autism, but she is pretty good at covering it up. Sasha says she is cool and different from anyone she has ever met. That is why she likes her. Quinni says she has a face that looks like it would be nice to kiss even though she has bad taste in restaurants. Sasha tells her to try it before kissing her. Malakai catches up with Amerie to give her something that will help her ankle. When she asks if he knew about Harper and Dusty, Malakai says he thinks they hooked up at the graveyard party. He suggests they probably won’t last. He asks about her deal with Harper. Amerie asks if he has ever had someone you love with everything turn on him for no reason. He says she might be going through something or she might just be a b!tch. Once Darren returns home, his dad tells him it isn’t because he doesn’t want him here. He has been writing this thing for so long and he has found no success.

He isn’t sure it’ll ever be worth it. He knows what is worth it and he really wants to make it work. Darren offers to pay fifty bucks a week and he’ll chuck in a large fry every Thursday. He isn’t a fan of the son stealing the surfboard in the end because it’s too predictable and that is not how life works. Malakai walks Amerie home. She tells him she isn’t going to kiss him because this isn’t a thing. Her mother walks out onto the balcony to yell at her since she wasn’t supposed to leave the house. Chook (Tom Wilson) approaches Ca$h to get the keys to the car. Once he grabs the keys, Chook says rich gronk bingo. Amerie goes into her room and begins pulling pictures of herself and Harper off the wall. She begins crying on her bed. Harper rides her bike outside. She stops outside her house and continues seconds later.

 

Heartbreak High Review

The second episode of Heartbreak High saw the characters build new relationships and romances while Ca$h has dug himself an even deeper hole. Quinni went on a date with Sasha. Although it wasn’t a smashing success, Sasha was willing to try again once she found out that the problem was Quinni’s autism. Darren and his father attempted to overcome their issues so they can continue living together. Amerie found out that Harper slept with Dusty, but she formed a new relationship with Malakai that may go beyond friendship.

While Heartbreak High isn’t a masterpiece, it is at least interesting at times. The story is pretty simple so viewers can follow along without having to read between the lines. The characters are effectively complex with unique personalities and problems that they deal with during each episode. One potential issue is the fact that the cast is so massive that it may become difficult to focus on and care about specific characters.

It is hard to imagine that this is even remotely realistic for a typical Australian high school. Everything from the casting to the dialogue and subjects bends reality. As viewers begin caring about the characters, they can likely forgive these issues. The episode wasn’t bad although it wasn’t revolutionary either. The acting is good, the camerawork is superb, and the soundtrack is mostly excellent.

As the series progresses, it may become more emotional and impactful. The second episode scores a 6 out of 10. Recaps of Heartbreak High can be found on Reel Mockery here. Find out how to support our work by following this link.