As the third episode of Creamerie begins, Alex (Ally Xue) and Jaime (JJ Fong) work by the cows while Pip (Perlina Lau) walks out of the house. Pip enters the barn and immediately tells Bobby (Jay Ryan) that her friend needs more jizz. He tries to convince her to cut the ropes around his wrists, but she doesn’t want him to kill them in their sleep. He reminds her that he wouldn’t need them to be asleep to kill them. They argue about her vocabulary before Alex enters and finds out what is going on. Bobby confirms to Alex that Pip is bothering him although Pip says otherwise. Alex tells them she has actual work to worry about. Once Alex leaves, Pip tells Bobby he is going to fill the cup in exchange for a hot shower when the other women leave. Moments later, Jaime goes to the store and talks to Viv (Renee Lyons) while buying supplies.

When a little girl enters, Viv tries to give her a bunch of candy until her mother enters and stops that from happening. When they leave, Viv says she can’t help it because kids are meant to be spoiled. Alex claims they’re meant to drive you crazy and give you knee fat. Viv breaks down in tears and whines that she loves knee fat. Soon, they learn that Viv didn’t get through and won’t be getting pregnant just like Jaime. Viv says it is okay because the Wellness know best, but Alex doesn’t believe that. Outside Jaime wonders what gives them the right to decide who can and cannot have kids. Alex likes that since she is talking more like her now. Jaime notices she has drinks so Alex says she is drinking now that she stopped meth which was messing up her teeth. Pip argues with Bobby as she leads him into the house and toward the shower.

At first, he wants to shower before giving her the deposit, but they end up agreeing to showering and depositing at the same time. Pip forces him to do all this with his hands still tied. It seems she likes what she sees as she stares at Bobby while he showers. When Jaime and Alex returns, Pip takes the food and stocks the fridge. She pulls Jaime to the side to give her another cup of jizz while explaining you can’t do just one load. Alex overhears them and quickly tries to figure out what is going on, but they don’t want to tell her. Alex takes food and drinks to Bobb who is now dressed in women’s clothes. She wonders why he smells like body butter before saying she thought they could get to know each other. She tries to find out if he went to quarantine. They get drunk while Alex complains they had a chance to start over, but Lane and her group are the same old crap. Now that they’re friends, Bobby tries to get her to remove his restraints.

Once she removes them, Bobby grabs his bag and steps outside to get some fresh air without her. When she asks if he’ll be back, he says mates don’t leave mates. He steps outside and begins speed walking away from the barn until he yells and collapses to the ground. He rolls over and it looks like he has fallen into a pile of manure. He returns to the barn and denies trying to run away. Alex tells him not to scare her like that. She can’t lose him because he is proof that her mother was right. She gives him his knife back and he uses it to cut his backpack. He shows her a SIM card and says his friend Thomas gave it to him because it would lead well men to a safe place. As for Thomas, he was hunted. Bobby believes he can get a phone and find the place with help from his mates. When Jaime tries to inject herself with Bobby’s juices, she keeps thinking about Viv and has a change of heart.

That night, Jaime takes a cooler to Viv’s shop and leaves it outside with a note inside telling her it is human sperm. She quickly removes the farm’s sticker from the cooler to avoid getting caught. When the light inside turns on, she makes a run for it. In the morning, Pip wakes up Bobby while taking his clothes out to the barn. Jaime runs into her and wonders what is going on. She wonders if Pip wants to have intercourse with Bobby although she denies it. Once that talk reassures her, Pip returns to the barn to tell Bobby she didn’t come in there to watch him sleep because she likes him or anything. She admits she doesn’t hate him and instead describes her feelings as being indifferent.

Bobby gets closer to her and touches her face. He thanks her for the clothes before Alex enters with a cellphone. She found it in the house because her mother was a massive hoarder. Alex walks over to Pip and tells her to stop with the pervy body butter thing since she is acting like a hormonal schoolgirl. Once Bobby gets the phone on, Pip reminds them there is no cellular network so it’ll be worthless. He doesn’t find any contacts, but there is a message that says RISE. There is no information about the sender. Pip goes for a bike ride and tries to talk herself out of doing something immoral with Bobby. She goes to the Wellness offices. Once there, she sees Lane with Constance who shoots Viv with one of the blissing bullets. Constance says the body has reached the process before Lane pulls out the insemination tool from the farm. We can also see the farm’s cooler behind her.

She quickly calls the Jackson Creamery and Alex picks up. Pip tries to get Alex to understand the message that they need to hide Bobby, but Alex doesn’t get it. When Jaime gets on the phone, she immediately recognizes what is going on and tells Bobby he needs to hide. Pip rushes back to the farm in time to see several Wellness vehicles arrive. The others call her over beside the barn and she quickly ridicules Jaime for giving Bobby’s sperm to other women. Jaime removed the sticker so nobody would know. Still, they figured it out because nobody else has cow insemination straws. Jaime accuses her of getting another load because she wants to get it on with Bobby. Pip loudly denies that and claims she hates him. Alex ridicules all of them and says they’re going to have to leave forever now. She wonders if Jaime even thought about the consequences of getting pregnant.

She accuses Jaime of giving Jackson away, but she denies it. She says Jackson was sick so she had to call the quarantine officers on him. Alex might’ve lost her brother but she lost her whole life. Pip says this all started with Bobby so giving him up to the Wellness women might be wise. Still, Alex believes they’re in big trouble and can’t return home now. Surprisingly, Bobby’s phone begins ringing and they answer it. It sounds like a man on the other end who says rise. He gives Bobby the coordinates 37.7870 degrees south and 175.2793 degrees east. We see that the hunter (Sara Wiseman) is listening in and writing the coordinates on the back of her pickup truck. Bobby is told to stay safe before the call ends. When Pip says there are no other men, Alex says there are now and they’re going to find them. They walk away from the farm. The hunter removes the coordinates from her truck and drives toward Hiro Valley as the episode ends.

 

Creamerie Review

Creamerie isn’t outstanding but it isn’t terrible either. The story has many interesting points and the relationships between Alex, Jaime, Pip, and Bobby are great. We also have the history with Alex’s mother and Jackson. The show has a lot going on although everything is presented in a way that is easy to understand and digest.

I could do without the comedic scenes because many of them fall flat for me, but I can easily overlook them. It is easy really. People will either like Creamerie for what it is, or they’ll hate the show for being too simplistic and silly. The 3rd episode was likely the strongest yet. It scores a 6.7 out of 10. Creamerie recaps are available on Reel Mockery here.