As the second episode of Boat Story begins, it appears actors recreate Janet and Samuel’s story in front of an audience. Samuel (Paterson Joseph) enters the building and sits with Craig Dodds (Phil Daniels). Ben Tooh (Ethan Lawrence) pushes past the press to enter the police station. PC Jenny (Mhairi Calvey) tells Ben that the boss wants to see him. Ben says this is what it feels like to be seen. Superintendent Hodgson (Nigel Betts) tells Ben that the media is leaving its stuff everywhere so he wants him to clean it up. Ben thought Hodgson would want him on the case. When Janet (Daisy Haggard) gets up, she immediately leaves home. She catches up with Alan Jeffries (Oliver Sheridan) who feels like they’re spies meeting like that.

She asks if he is okay because he got her worried when he called about his dad. Alan thinks it is probably nothing. Janet seems concerned when she sees cops. Alan asks if she has heard the news, but he doesn’t tell her what happened. Once Alan leaves, Janet checks the Internet and learns about the shooting at the police station. Samuel calls to remind her they’re meeting his ex-client in prison. While waiting in the interview room, Janet and Samuel talk about the shooting. Samuel reminds her that the headlines said nothing about a boatload of cocaine. Craig Dodds joins them. Janet is forced to walk away because Craig doesn’t want to talk in front of her. Craig claims not to know anyone who will buy it. He reminds Samuel that stuff is the reason he’s in jail anyway.

He doesn’t want to spend more time in there and instead would prefer to be in the theatre. Samuel offers to make it worth his while. Craig warns them that the drugs belong to someone who’ll want it back. The Tailor (Tcheky Karyo) meets Guy (Craig Fairbrass) where the boat was found. Guy says Arthur Lake has gone into hiding, but he is confident they’ll find him. The Tailor gets something to eat from Stacy’s Scran. He complains about Guy’s police station job making headlines. Guy is warned he will end up like Edward with just one more mistake. Arthur (Jonas Armstrong) gets in touch with Greg (Dominic Weatherill) to talk to him about something important. Arthur asks for money because someone is after him.

Arthur tells him he’ll text him an address. Craig talks to his cellmate, Andy, about the cocaine. Andy says he is getting a second chance tomorrow so he won’t be able to sleep tonight. He tries to go clean, but ends up approaching Vinnie Douglas (Adam Gillen) after two days to buy drugs. When Vinnie reminds him that he owed him money before he went away, Andy tells him about Craig and what he heard about the cocaine. Vinnie takes him into the barn and has him beaten. Craig calls Samuel later to tell him that Vinnie wants to meet. Samuel is warned that Vinnie put Andy in the hospital. In exchange for his help, Craig wants the life rights to the story. Bullies shoot an arrow into Alan’s foot. Mike Weathers is surprised to see Janet at the hospital.

Alan says it landed between the toes so it wasn’t so bad. Peter (Craig Kelly) and Suzie (Danielle Warwick) catch Janet with Alan. Peter tells Alan that Janet is not his mother. When Peter threatens to involve the courts, Janet decides to leave. Mike approaches Janet to tell her she looks amazing. He tells her he looked up her phone number from the files before Samuel calls her. Janet meets Samuel who tells her about Vinnie. He says they need to come up with a story because Vinnie may believe they’re undercover cops. They begin working on their story. Janet ends up getting a penis picture from the doctor at the hospital. Samuel ends up texting Vinnie and saying they are with the Kosovar Group. Janet is worried because he used her phone.

Vinnie contacts them back with a time and place. Arthur gets a call from Greg who says he is outside. When he steps out, he finds that Guy has taken Greg hostage and he is a bloody mess. Guy shoots Greg before Arthur is attacked from behind. Arthur stabs the guy in the neck and flees. Guy eventually corners Arthur and apprehends him. In the present, Craig and Samuel watch the play based on their story. Samuel hangs out with Anya and Camilla at home. He receives a call from a man asking for his money. The man threatens to call Camilla. Samuel pleads for one week. The Tailor approaches Arthur who has a gunshot wound on his hand. The Tailor explains that he is a dog looking for his bone. Arthur only knows that his boyfriend heard about a boat coming in and planned to take anything on board.

Arthur tells him about Pat Tooh who found the boat and called it in. He offers to get the report for them. The Tailor learns that Pat lives above a shop on Hendon Road. He says there was another shipment before this one involving two police officers. Arthur insists that wasn’t his boyfriend. The Tailor begins beating him. Samuel meets Janet who admits she can’t stop thinking about the shooting at the police station. Samuel insists the two events are not connected before showing her the scale he brought. They go into the storage facility to get the drugs. They weigh the drugs. On the way out, Samuel uses gloves to secure the unit with his padlock. Outside, Janet complains that he made her pay on her card and he used her phone to contact Vinnie.

She admits she doesn’t trust him. Superintendent Hodgson speaks to the media about the police station shooting while Ben cleans up trash nearby. He ends up finding the paper for The Shang Emperor with the map on the back. Later, Janet calls Samuel to say the code for her lock is 7327. She is ready to get out. The Tailor visits Pat Tooh (Joanna Scanlan) whom he calls Madame Bethune. Then, he asks her about the boat and claims one of the bodies belonged to his son. The Tailor asks her about the person she saw near the boat. Pat would find it refreshing if he was going to take the law into his own hands. Pat admits she didn’t see much although the person was carrying a little white dog. She asks what his boy was called. The Tailor sees a sword and seems to get upset while repeating something in French.

When Janet goes home, she finds Alan waiting for her. He says his dad got a job in Australia and they’re moving. They want him by the end of the month. Janet says long-distance can work, but she argues they’re not done yet. Samuel hides his wallet under his car seat before meeting Vinnie. They search him and find his phone as well as the wallet under his seat. Vinnie gets upset because his mom was a liar and he hates liars. He tells Samuel he can stay while he makes some calls. The Tailor has had sex with Pat who says he can come and go as he likes. He tells her that he was repeating a French song by Salvatore Adamo. He heard it on the radio on a very important day of his life. Pat offers to let him get something free from Rodney in her shop downstairs. The Tailor bumps into Ben on his way out.

Pat tells Ben to be glad he didn’t walk in ten minutes ago. The Tailor calls Guy to say they’re looking for a Pomeranian. Samuel tries to smooth things over with Vinnie who threatens him. Janet arrives using a Russian accent. She says she doesn’t work with amateurs. Vinnie begins calling Katie since she’ll know what to do. Janet and Samuel get ready to leave until Vinnie chases them down and apologizes. He admits he has never done a deal this big before. Vinnie says he’ll name a time and place so they can bring the product. They agree before driving away. Craig asks Samuel to stay for the last bit. The actor playing Samuel says he knew the boat would be there. He had planned it.

 

Boat Story Review

The second episode of Boat Story was a lot like the first. While the cast is doing well, the script just doesn’t hold water. Truthfully, some viewers may enjoy the unique comedy presented in Boat Story and those viewers will be more forgiving. Others will not and they will be more likely to not enjoy the series. Although the premise is interesting, the script doesn’t really do it or the cast justice.

It is over-the-top and juvenile without being effectively funny. The pacing of the story is glacial because it had to be stretched into a six-episode series when it could’ve easily been condensed to three or four episodes. This episode really added to the stupidity of the script with the addition of a musical based on Samuel’s story and that’s just the beginning.

Sadly, there isn’t much to like about Boat Story besides some good performances here and there. It’s just a shame that those performances had to be squandered on such a soulless, juvenile script. This episode scores a 4.5 out of 10. Recaps of Boat Story are available on Reel Mockery here.

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