Glower In The Dark Queen Of The Universe – As the third episode of Angelyne begins, Jeff Glaser (Alex Karpovsky) rides with Angelyne (Emmy Rossum) who shows him where she gets her underwear now. She claims she got famous just like that. President of the Angelyne Fan Club, Rick Krause (Hamish Linklater), claims he was there for everything. He was on all the phone calls and billboard shoots. He came to town for work and decided to do some sightseeing. It is 1984 when he sees Angelyne nearby so he jumps off the tour bus and rushes over. He tells her he is an artist who is in town doing celebrity portraits and no truer Hollywood celebrity exists today than her. She liked his painting so much that she invited him to help out around the office.

She wakes him up at the office one morning to offer him a full-time job as her office manager. The hours are nine until one of them dies. Rick claims LA needed Angelyne when she showed up. Thanks to Reagan and his cronies, homelessness was on the rise and everyone is getting lung cancer because of pollution. Angelyn provided color, humor, and essence. He believes her hot-pink image was an escape for the collective consciousness of the city. Angelyne asks him to do it from the top starting with the essence part but make it natural. In 1987, Ang stops next to a little girl who asks if she is Barbie. She gives the little girl her card. She begins selling hats, t-shirts, and other merchandise. A man stops to ask if she wants to go out with him. She teases him before speeding away.

Later, Ang joins Harold (Martin Freeman) and the others to check out the wall with her on it. Harold hopes the 22 grand pays off. Freddy (Charlie Rowe) believes people will talk about the picture one hundred years from now. When Ang poses for a picture in front of the wall, she causes a vehicle crash nearby. The wall mural receives international media attention. In Morocco, a man sees a news report about it and says holy crap. A television host says a man flew in from Sweden for a lunch date with Angelyne because her allure is wild. She poses on the television as the host enters and begins talking to her about the mural on the wall. She tells Russell that she just really likes things big. Harold calls for his wife to come and watch Angelyne on television.

While he is pleased with her appearance, Wendy isn’t. When Russell asks what she does, Ang says she makes boys horny. There is so much suffering in the world. She is a sex goddess presence for people to discover and relate to. Then, they pay her. Russell reveals she gets $2,300 an hour for an appearance, but Ang says it is $2,400 now. Russell asks whether Angelyne is at her peak. She teasingly says she will be peaking soon. In the present, Ang insists it is all about the tease with men. She claims men like to make women feel powerless and teasing is how women get the power back. That is exactly what she did with Hugh Hefner. Once she meets with Hugh, he tells her she has a real Marilyn quality about her.

She was on the cover of the first issue they did in ’53. Ang knows because Marilyn is her art mother of sorts. She also knows that Marilyn never gave Hugh consent to use her photos. Instead, he bought the photos from another man who paid Marilyn pennies to take them several years earlier because she needed to make her car payment. Then, he used them to launch his empire. Hugh is a multimillionaire while Marilyn is dead. Ang asks what his pitch is and why he has such a hard-on to meet her. He wants to know the real Angelyne who asks whether he loves not knowing. She claims she can be whoever and whatever he wants her to be. Hugh reveals that one of their photographers suggested her for their celebrity of the year issue.

She said Angelyne had more sex appeal with her clothes on than all the other girls she shot with their clothes off. Ang jokes he should tell his photographer to join her fan club. He isn’t interested in those photos of her. Angelyne thought it was made clear that she’d never pose with her clothes off. Hugh says it was. When he says millions of girls dream of an opportunity like this, Ang reminds him that he isn’t those millions of girls. She doesn’t need this because she has 200 billboards all over Los Angeles, but she’d love to find a way to help him.

She offers to license him a few of the photos that Freddy took and he can commission Rick to write the article. Otherwise, she is struggling to see what is in it for her. Hugh claims he is offering advice on how to maximize her potential. Angelyne believes he wants her to take her clothes off so he can sell more copies of his magazine. She tells him that the story of her life is on a wall at the corner of Hollywood and Vine. They leave after that. Andre Casiano (Tonatiuh), who was Angelyne’s assistant, admits he didn’t know who he was when he met her. He just saw this badass rebel queen who didn’t care about what she was supposed to do with her life, body, or sexuality. She just put it out there for all to see. At the beach, Harold tells Ang she is a rebel for turning down Hugh.

He is proud of her. While he works out, Ang asks whether he knows anything about foot fetishes because they have a German fan asking for something more personal. She already sent him some heels, but he wants a video now. Harold believes it is okay as long as she isn’t doing anything that makes her feel uncomfortable. He warns her to be careful. The more she puts out there the more people will want. She returns to the office and tells the boys to speak quickly because she has lunch with Allee in ten minutes. Rick says something big happened and it might be bigger than that because Julien Temple called. He goes on to say Julien directed The Great Rock ‘n’ Roll Swindle and Absolute Beginners. Now, he wants her to star in his next movie called Earth Girls are Easy.

Angelyne says she won’t audition and will only play herself. Rick also reveals that Los Angeles magazine wants to send a journalist to do a feature profile on her, but Ang worries they’re saying yes to too many things. She claims you have to keep the other side talking until they disclose what they actually want. Once they know that, they have the power to get what they want. Although Rick disagreed with her on it, he went ahead and turned down Oprah. Rick says there is an interesting offer to go on Hot Seat with Wally George and they don’t want to know about her past. Andre doesn’t think they should have anything to do with George who Rick describes as a colorful conservative talk show host down in Orange County. Ricky says Angelyne can handle controversy and they’re looking for platforms for her music video.

Andre says Oprah would’ve played it, but Ang doesn’t like the idea of Oprah digging into her past. She agrees to go on Wally George’s show. In the present, Rick says Wally’s show was a lion’s den. Andre took it as a middle finger to the gay community that embrace her. When she goes on his show, Wally recommends a little more modesty and refers to her as a bimbo. She is asked whether she’d approve of her kids doing this, but Ang says they don’t know what she does. They play her music video. Back in her car, Angelyne cries. Rick apologizes before she stops him to talk about the incredible material she has been filming with Freddy. She suggests finding someone to release it and make a documentary of her. She also has an idea for a magazine called Hot Pink where her fans can contribute.

They already send her such wonderful love and she’d like to share that with the world. Rick says Hollywood is a 24-hour-a-day movie and you often don’t even realize it because our field of vision is so small. He says it is a fun place but also a dangerous place. Later, Rick helps Ang practice her lines while encouraging her to hurry because they’re late for the meeting with the writer from the Los Angeles magazine. A guy knocks on the door asking for Rachel, but Rick tells him there is no Rachel there. Ang says wait before identifying the man as Danny. He calls her Rachel. In the present, Angelyne says she doesn’t know anyone by that name.

Danny says he can’t believe they’re sitting across from each other. He saw her painting while he was in Morocco and recognized her immediately despite her new look. She asks why he is there. Danny says he brought some stuff he thought she might want and he just wanted to say congratulations. Ang says she needs to know if he is talking to the press. Danny says he just came here out of love and has her old passports, high school photos, and their wedding photos. Ang doesn’t want any of that because that is not Angelyne. Danny says it is Rachel though. Rick believes it is time for him to leave. Dan asks whether she’ll acknowledge what they had together so he’ll know he isn’t crazy. Ang says there is nothing to acknowledge.

Dan says she is a big part of his story and she can’t just erase people like that. She can do whatever she wants because he doesn’t exist. Danny disappears before Rick calls him a weirdo. Danny Katz says he shared these incredibly intimate moments with someone he loved only for them to look him in the eyes later and say none of it mattered. Angelyne says she has always been Angelyne and that is the story they need to know. When she shows up at the shoot, a guard checks on her. Andre shows up with an umbrella and says the journalist wants to do her interview between the two scenes. When she reaches her trailer, gas girl has been crossed out and replaced with her name. Andre tries to explain what happened, but she demands that he fix it.

Andre says it is a two-second cameo. Nobody cares about the credit and certainly not about her. He quits and leaves the umbrella on the ground. In the present, Andre admits he cared about her. He discusses how her positive was her way of coping with the darkness of life. In the trailer, Ang gives herself a pep talk. She believes the one thing people know is how they feel. Her quest is to feel good all the time, but it can be challenging in this reality. Since she had no respect for what this reality does to people, she evolved. She tells Jeff about her out-of-body experience and how she has been trying to go back ever since. When Jeff asks what type of kid she was, Ang says sad and lonely. Back in Ohio, she lost her kids at a young age. That made her look for attention with her tricks.

She was supposedly five and under when they passed away. Angelyne begins ignoring his questions while playing her song. In the present, Jess says she told him he was spiritually constipated before dragging him to a tchotchke shop. They get what they need. One of the workers there tells Jeff they’ve known each other for a thousand lifetimes. She says a long time before Idaho. As they leave, Jeff asks her whether it was Ohio or Idaho. He pleads with her to talk to him and asks when she moved to LA. She believes he is missing the point of who she is, but he needs something he can print in The Hollywood Reporter. He insists it isn’t going to work out before starting to leave. She stops him and offers to show him something she has never shown anyone before.

She takes him to a party where she says nobody is looking at him because this is her show. As she walks toward the house, a woman tells her everyone is waiting for her. After she performs, Jeff says he saw her the way she wanted him to see her at that point. Ang claims he didn’t ask any good questions. This is who she is and she engages with people. She takes them to a higher plane. Ang goes outside to see if Jeff is having fun. Jeff isn’t sure this will publish because he doesn’t know how to describe what happened today. Angelyne hugs him while saying she knows that he loves her. She doesn’t think he wants to hurt her. Jeff guesses he’ll try to think of something. Angelyne says everything he sees here is all he needs to know about her. Jeff admits he didn’t get the truth about her, but he wanted to help her. He wrote a vibe piece that was good for her and helped her get the billboard.

Roughly two years later, the truth magically fell into his lap. In 2017, he receives an email about the Billboard Queen. He met with the man who said he worked for a government agency and was a hobby genealogist. Jeff meets with the man who gives him a folder full of stuff about Angelyne. Danny says The Hollywood Reporter wasn’t the first to find out the whole truth about her past. A college kid by the name of Max Allen (Lukas Gage) cracked the whole thing open well before Jeff. Max started making a documentary about Angelyne in about 2012. He believes he was the first person to discover the whole truth about Angelyne. He learned that she doesn’t think in the traditional beginning, middle, and end. According to her, she was always going up. Max insists that simply isn’t true.

 

Angelyne Review

The Angelyne television show is likely going to be like Angelyne the woman. Some people will find themselves fascinated by the character while others will despise her. Whether the viewer likes the show will depend on their stance. It should be noted that the television show combines fiction and nonfiction considering it isn’t perfectly accurate. Nevertheless, the story isn’t bad.

The show does a good job of taking the viewer back to the 80s so it feels authentically nostalgic. For a show like this, I’d say the acting is good. Truly, I don’t think Angelyne is as bad as the scores say. Many of those are likely criticizing the character and raise to fame which is entirely understandable. I hope this digs more into Angelyne’s past.

Either way, this is a show people are going to like or hate. I’d give the third episode a 6.5 out of 10. Recaps of Angelyne are available on Reel Mockery here. Find out how to support Reel Mockery at this link.