Deus Ex-Wife Machina – As this episode of Almost Paradise begins, viewers see the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center. Inmates at the facility get ready to fight so a guard runs into call for help. A Cebu Com Cable truck is allowed to enter the gates. The music comes on and the inmates start dancing. One inmate comes out and hands something to one of the guards. Then, the man manages to escape in the cable van. Jace Vargas (Dante Basco) tells the driver that he needs to find a contractor in Mactan. He also wants Alex Walker. After the intro, Alex Walker (Christian Kane) makes Isla something to eat.

Alex admits online dating has been a disaster for him until he found her. He is shocked that she has the same interests he does. Claire Walker (Lisa Brenner) comes in and says she is Alex’s wife. Isla gets upset, trashes his phone, and leaves although Alex says it is his ex-wife. Claire complains that he got their daughter kidnapped by a psychopathic killer. Alex says he got her out of it. Claire has been contacting him for months and the time has come for Alex to sign the divorce papers. She is heading to Sri Lanka to see Evelyn. Claire thought she’d get him to sign in person and see how he is doing. Alex is reminded that selling the property was always part of the agreement. Ike Ocampo says their past has come back to haunt them since Jace escaped prison two hours ago.

They know that Alex is going to freak out. Jace’s cellmate told them that he has been obsessed with getting revenge on Alex. Until Jace is back in custody, Kai (Samantha Richelle) and Ernesto (Arthur Acuna) will have to keep Alex Walker safe. Claire urges Alex to sign the papers. She introduces Alex to Bob Rafferty (Josh Adamson) who is spending a few days at the Paradise with Claire. They’re going to get married. Ernesto and Kai get stuck in traffic while trying to reach Alex. Mikey and his partner talk about working for Jace. They overhear Claire checking in and mentioning Alex’s name. Mikey realizes that Alex Walker is their target. Alex hangs out with Claire and Bob while learning more about the latter. Claire continues trying to convince Alex to sign the divorce papers.

When they’re alone, Claire asks why Alex is doing this because she knows he doesn’t want to be married to her. Alex signs it and says they’re divorced. The ranch is the catch though. Bob approaches the receptionist to ask about one of the upcoming tours. Mikey and his friend put a gun to his back and order him to come with them. Alex and Claire argue about whether they should sell the ranch. Soon, Alex learns that Bob has been kidnapped. As Kai and Ernesto arrive, they see Alex leave with so woman so they follow him. Alex tells Claire that he has dealt with these people before. They end up losing them. Kai and Ernesto catch up with them and find out about Bob being kidnapped.

They go back to the Mactan police station to discuss the kidnapping. Ike believes it is too hot for Vargas and his crew to operate in Mactan. He probably hired outsiders who thought Bob was Alex. Alex assures Claire that Jace isn’t going to harm Bob because he only has a beef with him. They use the hotel’s security system to learn more about the two kidnappers. They mention laying low at Chito’s place. Alex agrees to go to the hotel since it’ll be safe there. As they drive back, Claire says they can’t just stay at the hotel. She doesn’t think the guy she married would give up like that. Alex questions what makes her think he has given up. He says they’ll have to find another way off the island since the bridges and ports will be monitored.

They’ll be looking for small marinas and fishing villages. Claire says they should go to the Tampalasan Karaoke Bar. On the billboard, it mentions that the bar is the home of DJ Chito. The kidnappers hang out at the bar with Bob tied up nearby. Mikey leaves them because he wants to go sing. Once Claire and Alex reach the bar, they notice the kidnappers’ vehicle outside. Alex calls to let the others know. Kai tells him to wait for them because that place is dangerous. She explains that it is the hangout for some of the island’s most dangerous criminals. Alex promises Kai that he won’t go in, but he decides otherwise after the call. Once Alex goes into the pub, Mikey begins singing. Claire gets tired of waiting and goes in as well. She looks inside while Mikey sings karaoke.

She tells Alex that they have Bob in the storage room. Bob tries to talk Mikey into letting him go. A man notices Alex and says he is the one who helped put Tito in jail. Chito grabs a baseball bat. Claire enters the storage only to see Mikey and his friend take Bob away from the bar. Before the men can beat up Alex, Ernesto and Kai arrive to calm things down. Jace thinks he is about to punish Alex, but it is Bob under the bag. Jace punishes one of the hitmen by drowning them. He orders that Mikey be waterboarded. During a break, Mikey yells that this was all Amado’s fault. Bob takes up for Mikey. Although Jace wants to kill both, Mikey suggests they can use Bob to get Alex.

Bob calls so Jace can speak to Alex. After the call, Alex tells the others that he’ll trade himself for Bob. Ike wants to come up with a different plan than what Jace wants. The teams get into place later that night. Alex tells Claire to get out of there as quickly as possible once she has Bob. Seconds later, Alex is exchanged for Bob. Kai gets a message that the package has been delivered. The cops swoop in and stop Jace’s men. Claire and Bob are stopped and confronted by men with guns. Kai and Ernesto learn that Alex isn’t with them. She yells that they should split up and search every route. Jace questions Alex about how he is going to convince him not to kill him. Kai and Ernesto try to figure out where Jace has taken Bob.

They decide to check Water World. Alex is shocked to see Claire and Bob. Once Ernesto and Kai find Jace, they call for backup. Jace tells Alex that he is going to kill Claire in front of him. Ernesto takes out one of the guards. Bob tries to convince Mikey to let them go. Jace soon learns that Mikey let them go and fled. When Alex frees his hands, Jace shoots him several times. Jace is smart enough to know he is wearing a bulletproof vest and that it doesn’t cover his head. Ernesto and Kai come in and start shooting at Jace’s men. Alex and Jace fight while going down the waterslide. When Jace flees in a vehicle, Alex clings to the roof to prevent him from getting away.

Alex jumps off just before Jace runs into a statue. Once everything calms down, Claire and Bob tell Ike that they wouldn’t be alive without Mikey. Ike says they’ll try to get him better treatment. Mikey sings with the inmates while Jace screams for it to stop in his cell. Bob, Claire, Alex, and the others celebrate. Later, Claire tells Alex that she signed the trust deed back over to him. She tells him to take care of himself. When Kai asks Alex about it, he says it is a decision.

 

Almost Paradise Review

The fifth episode of Almost Paradise’s second season felt like it went on for too long with several unnecessary twists. Truthfully, this is one of those shows that people are either going to love or hate because it doesn’t take anything seriously. The villains are cartoonish, yet they manage to outsmart Alex and the police at several points.

The series is either a good time killer or a humorous roller coaster ride depending on viewers’ preferences. Although it is watchable, it doesn’t offer much in terms of originality or heart. The episode scores a 5 out of 10. Recaps of Almost Paradise can be found on Reel Mockery here. Find out how to support our independent site at this link. Learn more about advertising with us here.