As the episode begins, Vincent Swan (Ed Westwick) fires up the grill in the backyard. Seconds later, he is approached by Miss Barnes (Lorraine Bruce), who wants to talk about Vincent’s taxes. Vincent pretends to be the gardener. When Barnes leaves, Vincent burns her letter. Moments later, Vincent prepares for work. He is forced to change clothes after a quick encounter with Sam (Linzey Cocker). Sam pleads with Vincent to have more to do with his family. When Vincent arrives at work, he spots Barnes outside of the store. He sneaks outside of his car and climbs into the phone booth.

Carol (Lauren O’Rourke) picks up the phone. She agrees to tell the woman that she doesn’t know a Vincent. Brian (James Buckley) and Martin (Joe Thomas) join in on the act. On her way out, Barnes makes sure to compliment Martin’s beautiful face. Once Barnes is gone, Vincent enters the store. He is ragged by Brian for not paying his taxes. We also learn that Vincent has been copying movies with equipment acquired from Ronnie (Lee Ross). Martin’s past work as a musician has given him prowess for video equipment. Seconds later, Brendan (Lloyd Hutchinson) enters the store. He explains that he wants to use his camera to take topless pictures of his daughter, Donna (Jennifer Brooke). Martin refuses to help, but Brian quickly accepts.

Brian quickly convinces Donna to shoot pictures for the naughty magazines. To help evade the tax lady, Vincent takes his family on a vacation. Then, Brian tells Martin about his new gig with Donna. Two photographers arrive with the intention of photographing Donna too. Vincent takes his family to the location where his kids were conceived. Then, he takes them to the beach. It is overrun with seagulls. Meanwhile, the photographers urge Donna to switch from photographs to images. Everyone quickly agrees. Brian tries to get help from Martin, but his offer is refused. Instead, Martin tells Brian how to copy the tapes.

While Brian is away, Martin gets a visit from Barnes. She asks about Vincent once again. Then, she gives Martin a card and tells him that there are other ways to deal with the problem. After the run in with the seagulls, Vincent takes his family to a restaurant. They also hit the arcade. On the way home, Sam encourages Vincent to attend her son’s school trip the following day. He reluctantly agrees. Brian tries to copy the tapes. Unfortunately, it seems he has mixed them up with the ET copies. Then, Vincent meets with Brian and Martin. He pleads with Martin to take care of his problem with Barnes. Vincent and his son, Robbie (Bobby Smalldridge) head to the school. Vincent is impressed with the appearance of his son’s teacher. Vincent quickly tries to win over Miss Lyndsey (Saffron Hocking).

Vincent makes sure to sit next to her during the musical. Then, he makes Robbie walk home on his own, so he can spend more time with the teacher. Meanwhile, Martin works his magic on Barnes. He is forced to perform a sex act on her. During the act, he gives her his tax information. In the morning, Martin delivers the good news to Vincent. He is given a little money in return. The kids turn on ET, but wind up seeing Donna’s breasts instead. The ET copies hit the news, forcing Vincent and his pals to burn the copies and return the equipment to Ronnie. Later, Martin learns that he owes taxes. Brendan arrives with the intention of beating the snot out of Brian. Martin and Vincent refuse to intervene.

 

White Gold Review

The 3rd episode of White Gold was probably the best yet. It was definitely the most outlandish. Sure, the series is over the top, sexist, racist and everything in between. Nevertheless, it delivers a decent amount of entertainment. I’ll shamelessly admit that I laughed throughout the entire episode. For that, it scores a good 7 out of 10. Catch up with previous recaps of White Gold now!