EV3L1N – Episode 8 starts with a flashback in the Zorko Auto Bros Salvage Yard. A bloodied and confused young John Doe (Anthony Mackie Jr.) wakes in the driver’s seat with his head against the steering wheel of his wrecked and burning station wagon. Upon regaining consciousness the first thing he does is retrieve the burning family photo that he’s been carrying around all season. He grabs it just in time, as some random older lady opens the passenger’s door and tells him he’s been in quite a crash. His response is to take his photo and get out of the vehicle. The lady chooses to follow with a small yet thick tree branch in her hand and comments on the goose egg on his head. He doesn’t know where his parents are, his name, or how old he is. The young man grows more frustrated as the persistent lady questions him while closing the distance between them.

Once close enough, she adds another goose egg to his head but is kind enough to leave him with the warnings of a Watkins Storm approaching. Just in the nick of time, young John manages to take refuge under an overpass to ride out the storm and stare at the picture.

Present Day – Back in the present time, the older John Doe (Anthony Mackie) wakes in a similar confused state, although this one is the result of the drunken debauchery of the previous night. Still at the helm of Evelyn, Quiet (Stephanie Beatriz) attempts to relieve the man of his shades. He’s not willing to give them up and this leads to their typical back-and-forth banter. As Quiet demeans men everywhere for their lack of tolerance against hangovers, John can only point out that there will be no hangovers in New San. He can’t wait to get his hands on another of those pork tenderloins either. Quiet, however, is more interested in the thrills of pet ownership. When John declares that he won’t be taking care of a dog, the two being discussing the prospects of living together. With his unwillingness to share even his sunglasses, Quiet doesn’t see John as a prospective roommate. The glare from the sun forces her to draw down the sun visor and out pops the infamous burnt photo.

John’s attitude completely changes and warns Quiet to be careful with his previous photo. As she mocks him with her capability of caring for a single photo, it flies out the open window and the two find themselves on the side of the road, looking for a veritable needle in a haystack. John mildly attempts to keep his anger to himself as the search continues. His mood is completely altered again when Quiet finds the photo. Unfortunately, it was minutes before because 3 Holy Men are right in the middle of carjacking Evelyn. Drawing his pistol and on the run, John blows one of the men’s heads off. Quiet scores a direct hit in the other’s chest with her hatchet, but it only takes one and he’s already in the driver’s seat and speeding off. Quiet is shocked by the rage that John unleashes on her. She’s even more shocked when they go on foot for an entire hour without John saying a single word. She finally goads him into a conversation that reveals he’s lost Evelyn multiple times in the past.

Once to Vultures, once to Necros, and then there was the time when he forgot where he parked her. Despite that, she always came back. Quiet insists that with her help, they will bring her home again. As John agrees to her help, nearby holy bells can be heard blaring. John surprises Quiet again by turning around and heading in the direction they just walked an hour in. He needs to go back and get the masks of the men they killed so they can infiltrate the holy camp and get Evelyn back.

Young John – Another flashback reveals the day that John discovered Evelyn. After several unsuccessful attempts at starting a fire using the twig and friction method, John notices some low-hanging fruit. Attempting to stand on a fallen log and reach the fruit leads to him at the bottom of an embankment, where he discovers the hidden Evelyn. Despite the driver being fossilized and the battery dead, he discovers a jackpot in the backseat in the form of toilet paper, lighters, canned food, nudie magazines, and cold hard cash. He uses the bankroll to start a fire.

Present Day – With masks fitted and within walking distance of the Holy Man camp, Quiet complains about how moist her mask is. John points out that it’s likely much better than the bearded guy mask. He’ll be pulling face pubes out of his mouth for months. Making their way through the camp, the scene is what one would expect to see in a modern-day biker club. Guys in kuttes are partaking in all forms of debauchery from drinking to smoking meth and fighting. They also come across a much larger version of the inverted crucifixion they spotted during their pharmacy run.

Things take an entirely different spin when the Preacher (Jason Mantzoukas) arrives on the scene and makes his presence known. Calming the crowd and getting down to business, the Preacher wants to know who had 7 days in the death pool. It was Holy Man Krevin (Dane Bourgeois). As rewards of guns, ammo, and drugs are delivered to Krevin, the Preacher takes the time to welcome the gods and goddesses to their annual Colorado Pilgrimage, The Rocky Mountain F*ck Fest. The Preacher takes a few minutes to reflect on what the world was like before the collapse. At the time, he was a celibate pastor and couldn’t help but feel abandoned by God when the world collapsed. That was, however, when he realized that humans have always been the gods.

With that revelation out of the way, the Preacher turns his attention to the gifts his followers have brought him. Despite the copious amounts of guns, ammo, and drugs he gets, he’s uninspired. He remains that way until he hears the sweet roar of Evelyn’s pistons firing and crackling to life. John and Quiet are forced to watch the Preacher drool and paw his dirty hands all over Evelyn. That is until John can take it no more and proposes a clash. Gathering in the prospective corners, Quiet tries to point out the enormity of John’s rash mistake while the Preacher fuels up with bumps of cocaine. John doesn’t picture the guy putting up much of a fight but is completely surprised when in the next second he’s on the ground holding his jaw. John doesn’t fight fair, grabbing a handful of dirt and throwing it in the Preacher’s eye before delivering a perfect three-piece combo.

That, John’s warnings to stay down, and the taste of his own blood only fuel the Holy Man further. A kip up and several impressive acrobatic moves later the Preacher once again gains the upper hand and proceeds to mercilessly beat John. Seeing that John isn’t the hand-to-hand master, Quiet is forced to employ a different tactic. Seconds later, she’s out of her hood and in one of her sexiest poses as she taunts the Holy Mechanic (Ned Yousef) working on own of the commune’s vehicles. Taking the Goddess stance, she makes the man get down and kiss her feet before attacking him. He proves much more resilient than she could have imagined but manages to gain the upper hand and lift the keys from his pocket. In the opposing clash, John finds himself in the same compromised position. Finished playing with his food, the Preacher orders John to the cross but grows upset when he notices that the previous victim is still tied to the fixture. As John is dragged to the cross by several followers, he has another flashback.

Young John’s Flashback – Young John is in the rear seat of Evelyn enjoying his newly claimed nudity magazines when he hears some stirring outside. Exiting with a lug wrench in attack position, a man reveals himself from a nearby wooded area in a non-threatening position. Claiming to just be looking for food, the man attempts to close the distance between him and John, while John orders him back. John makes the mistake of throwing his only weapon at the man. Although it’s a direct hit in the teeth, John was aiming for the balls. Busted mouth yet otherwise completely undeterred, the man declares it’s feeding time. Surprising the young boy, the man calls out to his unseen cohorts to inform them that John is alone. Young John’s first reaction is to jump behind the wheel and reattempt to start Evelyn. It’s pure luck that after several failed attempts Evelyn finally fires and leaves the assailants in her dust.

Holy Man Camp – Licking his wounds in the holding cage, John remorsefully watches on as Preacher stands on Evelyn’s hood and chides Holy Man Krevin for not being smart enough to find a hose long enough to refuel his new baby. Quiet soon arrives and frees John while introducing him to their new wheels. It doesn’t matter because John isn’t leaving Evelyn behind. Quiet is hurt by John’s persistence with Evelyn, but the two aren’t left much time to hash that out as Preacher has now discovered the mechanic’s attack. For Quiet, John says it all when he tells her to go without him.

Young John’s Flashback – Relishing in his newly functioning vehicle, John begins his relationship with Evelyn as they cruise the roads. He offers to take her anywhere she wants to go. Where does she want to go? He gets his answer when she dies right in the middle of the road seconds after he proposes the offer. The young boy manages to the side of the road and recovered in foliage. As he gathers in the backseat, he avows his loyalty to the car for saving him back there.

Holy Man Camp – With the Holy Men scrambling about John has successfully made it to Evelyn’s side undetected. At least it appears that way until a six-shooter can audibly be heard cocking. It’s the Preacher on the other end and although he takes a shot, it is adverted. Unfortunately, the stray bullet lands right in the side of Evelyn’s gas tank. Gas is spewed everywhere and the Holy Man proves once again to best John. However, in the struggling a torch is knocked to the ground and ignites the spilled fuel just as John is about to be finished off.

Watching from the distance, Quiet witnesses the gasoline explosion. Looking like a bomb going off in the camp, she assumes the worst and bursts into tears. Getting in her newly acquired vehicle and collecting herself, it is revealed that she also has John’s Chicago package. Goddess Janice (Lena Clark) and her followers load the Preacher’s lifeless body into the rear of an SUV and say goodbye to the ruckus of the camp. John awakens under what appears to be Evelyn’s blown-off hood. Stirring to his feet, he sees that Evelyn is nothing more than a burnt-out shell now. Gathering up Evelyn’s strewn parts and delivering them to the burnt-out shell of a car, he had memories of the day he returned to the Zorko Salvage Yard with Evelyn and fixed her up. It was also the day that he named her.

 

 Twisted Metal Review

I can’t deny that this was another filler episode, but it was incredible. Certainly worth the time! Maybe the show has just grown on me, but the connections that I can feel between John, Quiet, and Evelyn are incredible. I can feel the hurt that Quiet experiences when John turns her down for Evelyn. I also have to add that it was an incredibly ballsy move to kill off Evelyn. For me, it was like a Game Of Throne-inspired slaying. This creates an entirely new and unique dynamic for the final two episodes. Perhaps Evelyn will be miraculously restored in the next episode. Maybe Quiet will show back up. Either way, I cannot wait to find out.

This episode deserves a solid 6.3 out of 10. I also enjoy learning more about the various stragglers and clans that have emerged in this dystopian world and their theologies. Under all the superficial raunchy humor, the Preacher seems to have an interesting take on the world.

Get more Twisted Metal recaps here. Support Reel Mockery by donating to our platform. Our onsite advertising builds brand awareness, learn more click the link.