The Walking Dead Review: Self Help

Is Sheamus stoned? Eugene needs his mullet cut. Eugene (Josh McDermitt) is upset about the preacher? Why? Nobody else seems to care. Eugene sure tries to talk intelligent, but he still seems so dang stupid.

Incoming walkers. Another terribly timed car wreck. Has Lori Grimes returned from the dead? Sheamus confirmed for a dope head.

Abraham killing someone with a soup can? Breaking necks with his boots? WWE effects incoming. Is Glen (Steven Yeun) going to cry? He used to be so bad arse. Eugene got himself a pocketknife! Stabs to the neck and throat somehow hit the head? Anyway, that was anything but intense.

Perfectly timed fire. Sgt. Abraham Ford (Michael Cudlitz) seems to be forcing his lines here. Time to find some bikes! Aren’t you secluded out there? We’ll just pedal thousands of miles sir Sgt. Lance Armstrong.

Where did this building come from? Is it a library? Stop with the humming mumbling already. Abraham and Glen share a moment in the dark. Not much going on. Finally, a forced sex scene with Abraham and Rosita Espinosa (Christian Serratos). Despite Eugene creeping and spying on them, the sex itself seems much more awkward.

Eugene placed glass in the gas. Would it have made a difference? Surely the glass in the gas wouldn’t have made Big Red crash the bus. Eugene confesses he wants to be a super hero and save the world. Seems he’s on the wrong show. The Flash is about two hundred channels down. One minute Eugene claims everything is classified and the next he is spilling the beans. Guess he is desperate to impress Tara (Alanna Masterson).

Maggie and Glen having a conversation about drinking toilet water. Whose writing the dialogue? When it comes to Lauren Cohan, the southern accent is there one line and gone the next. Still waiting for something to happen.

More flashbacks with Abraham and possibly his wife and kids? Rosita suggests staying at the library for a day. Please no! Abraham shuts down the idea. Now, Rosita flips the script and suggests they move on quickly. How convenient! A fire truck outside! This is becoming more WWF-era every second. Here comes Stone Cold with the Steve Weiser! Man, the keys are in it and it starts right up!

I cannot tell whether Abraham is mad or going to cry. Rut Roh! Zombies! After several stabs and whacks to Zombie heads, Eugene shoots them dead with the water hose! Yea, you read that right. Wouldn’t the spraying water hurt everyone, if the pressure was high enough? Abraham turns into Chuckie on top of the roof of the fire truck.

Another Abraham flashback. Everybody left him behind. All that is left is a note on a fruit roll up wrapper. Now we’re back on the road again. Eugene’s teleportation skill is strong indeed! Maggie drops the accent, as she insults Eugene’s mullet. The accent has been thrown completely out the window, as she begins discussing a story to Eugene.

The team wonders ahead and see something in the background. Glen smiles and shakes his head. Is he happy or upset? Guess it is Walkers in the distance. Of course, the budget cuts have phased out large groups of zombies. The team debates their options. And they go back to the truck.

A little domestic abuse from Abraham to Eugene. Eugene makes his big reveal. He isn’t a scientist? Obviously.

Eugene just knows things. Eugene continues his big reveal. KO punch and elbows from the Irish Mike Tyson! Abraham in flashback finds his zombie family. An attempted suicide attempt leads to Abraham saving Eugene. Coincidental timing everywhere.

Review


Overall, this felt like a repeat of last week’s downer. This felt like an attempt to build and develop Abraham, Eugene, Rosita and Tara. Glen and Maggie felt like tagalongs. Still, there was very little character development here. The little develop we did get was pure anger at the stupidity of the character’s action.

The pacing issues are back. One minute, we’re sitting outside a crashed bus and the next we’re inside a building. How about that fire truck? Every town the survivors have visited has been ransacked, ransacked and ransacked again. Yet, the fire truck still remains? Things seem to be coming a little too easy for our survivors. They didn’t need to find shelter, nor food, nor transportation. Where is the struggle? Where is the survival? Yet, everyone looks well-kempt, as if they’ve just had a nice, warm shower. Even Eugene’s confession came a little too easy.

When it comes down to it, the producers attempted to develop these characters into something viewers could sympathize and care about. However, this backfired. Two weeks and two wasted episodes. If writers and producers would stop with wasteful episodes, we wouldn’t need 16 episodes a season and a mid-season finale.

While we understand the producers motives here, this still felt like a filler episode and Eugene and Abraham are just as weak, if not weaker, characters than ever before. And has Maggie completely forgot about her missing sister, Beth? The episode wasn’t much better than last week and a 6.5 out of 10 is possibly being a little too generous.

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