Best Friend, For Never – The show starts with a vibrating cellphone on a nightstand. The call comes from someone listed as “Dumb shit”. A sleepy Emilia Harcourt (Jennifer Holland) rolls over to answer the phone to hear Peacemaker (John Cena) on the other line. Peacemaker screams, “What the fu** is Project Butterfly?” Harcourt is still trying to wake up while Peacemaker proceeds to tell her that they’ve got a major situation on their hands.

 

He gives her a quick rundown of the situation while he runs up to the apartment to get his stuff. She tells him that she’s on her way to pick him up. He is a bit stunned because he didn’t give her an address. She then tells him that they can track him via the chip in his head. A stunned Peacemaker then asks if she can see him jerking off as well. She asks how that would be possible with it buried inside his skull. He responds by saying technology is an amazing thing. She tells him to focus, get his stuff, and get out. She promises to pick him up outside. Eagly (Dee Bradley Baker) sits on the street in front of the apartment when the police approach with lights and sirens.

 The camera goes back to Harcourt, who is now banging on the door of a hotel room. Leota Adebayo (Danielle Brooks) peels back the curtains as Harcourt says get dressed, Peacemaker just killed a butterfly. Leota’s lover, Keeya (Elizabeth Faith Ludlow) can be seen in the background.

 

Peacemaker returns to the apartment and proceeds to get dressed in a hurry.

 

Harcourt and Leota drive to the scene. Harcourt is on the phone with Mr. Clemson Murn (Chukwudi Iwuji) who tells her how important it is to keep the situation contained. He recommends getting Peacemaker out without incident. Harcourt pulls a tranquilizer gun from the glovebox and loads it up. Harcourt makes a remark to Leota about what she has in her room isn’t safe, referring to her partner. Leota counters by asking are they safe? She says someone named Emerson likes to wear these cute little outfits, will that make him a bigger target?

 Murn and John Economos (Steve Agee) are at headquarters. Murn asks if he can change the registration on Peacemaker’s vehicle, which is at the scene.

 

Back at the apartment complex, detectives Larry Fitzgibbon (Lochlyn Munro) and Sophie Song (Annie Chang) stare at a dead possum. Standing, in the middle of the aftermath of the sonic boom, Larry asks how the possum stayed intact. Sophie responds by saying she hopes this isn’t more “cape shit.” They have enough problems with that masked Vigilante running around. It would seem she is referring to Adrian Chase (Freddie Stroma). 

 Peacemaker is back in the apartment, collecting evidence of his being there. He also grabs Annie’s leopard-printed panties. Harcourt and Leota are now on the scene. They see all the cops gathered around. Harcourt makes the offhanded comment that she can’t believe Peacemaker screwed a butterfly. Leota says there probably isn’t much he wouldn’t screw after being locked up for four years.

 

Peacemaker is back in the apartment. He spreads a bedsheet on the floor and starts plundering through Annie’s record collection. He tosses knick-knacks in the bundle. While searching through the shelves, he discovers something that appears to be an alien artifact. He tosses it in the pile as a call from Harcourt comes in. She alerts him, cops are out front. Peacemaker asks if she sees Eagly anywhere. She refuses to waste time looking for his eagle. He asks her to roll down her window, put her hand outside, and crinkle a bag. He claims this will make Eagly come.

 The detectives ask the apartment manager if there is another way out of the building. She tells them about the front and side doors. Harcourt orders Peacemaker to head to the back of the building, go to the second-floor balcony, and jump. She and Leota pursue Peacemaker.

 

Peacemaker works his way up while avoiding law enforcement. At one point, Sophie and Larry spot him. Peacemaker enters one of the tenant’s rooms and takes Evan (Lenny Jacobson) and his girlfriend, Amber (Alison Araya) hostage. He gets nervous and forces his way into the apartment. As he does, the sheet of goodies spills everywhere. He forces Evan to roll his collectibles back into the sheet. While Peacemaker restrains the couple, he and Amber share a moment. It is obvious that Amber has a thing for him. In the meantime, the couple vaguely argues back and forth.

 The cops begin knocking on doors, working their way to the apartment. They eventually make their way to the room, where Peacemaker has Evan and Amber restrained. They proceed to bust in while Peacemaker jumps from the balcony. He clumsily makes his way from balcony to balcony toward the bottom.

 

More cops arrive and begin sealing off the back of the complex, where Peacemaker scales down the building. Harcourt and Leota watch from a nearby getaway car. Harcourt quickly jumps into action as Peacemaker is still making his way to the ground floor. Harcourt takes out the threat with the tranquilizer gun. Peacemaker finally makes it to the ground floor. Sophie and Larry make their way to the balcony of the previously restrained couple. They fire a few shots while Peacemaker makes his escape. As he runs toward the getaway car, he whistles for Eagly. The quartet celebrates in the getaway car as they make their escape.

 Back at headquarters, Murn confirms that John successfully got Peacemaker’s car registration switched over. He also swapped out the fingerprints. This will be discovered later when the cops get the lab results. Murn asks how he switched the results.

 

As Auggie opens the door, he is greeted by detectives Sophie and Larry. The duo questions him about his whereabouts during the occurrence last night. He admits to being at home. The trio argues back and forth before they ask what his car was doing at the crime scene. He tries to persuade the cops that the car belongs to Peacemaker. They aren’t having any of it, being the registration came back in his name.

 The scene ends with Auggie unleashing a string of racist insults at Sophie and slamming the door in the detective’s face. On the way to the car, she asks her partner if he heard anything about Peacemaker being released from prison. He responds by saying no.

 

Murn scolds John for choosing Auggie as the scapegoat. He defends himself because it was a quick decision. In the middle of their spat, the trio of Peacemaker, Leota, and Harcourt returns to headquarters. Murn lets John know that he needs to remain quiet about their discussion. Leota recalls their daring escape. She is obviously coming off an adrenaline high.

 

A few seconds later, John is sewing up Peacemaker’s wounds. Peacemaker tries to make idle chit-chat and get more information about Project Butterfly. John is too smart to fall for it and reveals nothing.

 

Murn, Harcourt, and Leota are recapping their mission thus far. Murn is concerned about how Annie Sturphausen (Crystal Mudry) found out about Peacemaker. He says if he told anyone. Harcourt immediately throws the blame on Amanda Waller (Viola Davis), but Leota and Murn aren’t having it. Harcourt reminds the team that only five people knew about the butterflies. If none of them blabbed, it had to be Waller. The team goes back and forth about it for a while, accusing each other. Murn makes the argument that maybe it was none of them. Harcourt immediately counters by asking why Sturphausen would try to kill Peacemaker. Peacemaker recalls returning from taking a leak to find Sturphausen reading the Project Butter dossier. The team is dumbfounded at his apparent stupidity.

 

Murn’s cellphone breaks up the debacle. After taking the call, he asks Peacemaker if and when he was going to mention the witnesses, referring to Amber and Evan. Murn says to convince the couple to keep Peacemaker out of the equation. The day rolls forward and Peacemaker is now at home going through his loot. He plays a Firehouse record “Don’t Treat Me Bad”. He begins to sob and starts punching himself in the face because everyone hates him. He sees Vigilante (Freddie Stroma) peering through the back window. Peacemaker pulls himself together and shields his face with his hand. He asks Vigilante if he is watching him jerk off. The two get off on a huge rant about tricking people into looking at their erect penises. Louis CK is mentioned during the rant. After a while, Vigilante convinces Peacemaker to look at him. The conversation now takes on a serious tone and Vigilante asks him why he was crying. He claims to be doing face exercises, which Vigilante wants to learn as well.

 

Leota stands outside Amber and Evan’s apartment. She is trying to rehearse what she is going to say to the couple to convince them to keep Peacemaker’s identity hidden. She ask the couple if they ever vacationed at Lake Tahoe in Nevada. Evan asks are you trying to bribe us. She says that is exactly what I’m trying to do.

 

Peacemaker tells Vigilante, the cops turned his place upside down during the raid. Vigilante asks if he needs some help cleaning up. He starts straightening up while Peacemaker chills on the couch. He asks Peacemaker how he got out of prison. Peacemaker says it’s a secret. While cleaning up, Vigilante comes across a pocket pussy and refers to it as a funny smiley face. He then approaches the subject of how Peacemaker got out of prison. Peacemaker breaks down and tells him he is working for the government. Vigilante says oh, so you’re working at the post office. Peacemaker asks do you think they’d let me out of prison just to work at the post office. He then reveals that he kills people for the government. He goes off on a tangent about how he thought God put him on earth to bring peace. He claims that lately he’s just felt like a maniac. He admits to having feelings about killing people. Vigilante tries to console him by telling him they are born killers. However, the thing that separates them from other killers is that they kill bad guys. Peacemaker perks up a bit. Vigilante asks him if he wants to celebrate. He initially refuses the offer but accepts when Vigilante tells him about collecting appliances while he was in prison. The two head to the woods behind Peacemaker’s trailer and begin blasting the old appliances with various arms says, including bows and arrows. It’s quite the scene between two friends.

 

Peacemaker and Vigilante throw dynamite at each other, having the time of their life.

 

Larry shows Evan and Sophie a photo lineup. They both pick out none other than Auggie. A task force is stationed outside Auggie’s front door, with Larry and Sophie leading the charge. They arrest him for the murder of Annie Sturphausen. On his way out, Auggie tells his old neighbor (Mel Tuck) to go “fu**” himself. The neighbor seems to enjoy Auggie going to jail and has a good laugh.

 

Leota, Keeya, and their three dogs enjoy what looks like Chinese takeout. Leota awkwardly talks about the dangers of her job. The two get into a spat and Keeya asks if she wants her to leave. She pretty much tries to accuse Leota of running her off.

 

Peacemaker smokes a joint with Amber lying next to him and Vigilante next to her. They pass the joint back and forth, but Vigilante turns it down by saying I don’t believe it is legal here yet. Peacemaker’s attention is drawn to the alien artifact. While fumbling around with the artifact, he inadvertently activates it. The artifact transforms into what looks like a miniature spacecraft.

 

Auggie is being escorted to jail by two uniformed officers. An inmate, Cool Steve (Neil Webb) recognizes him and makes a remark to the other inmates. Auggie immediately struts over to a wooden bench, where a man enjoys the sun from a nearby window. He tells the man he is sitting in his spot and likes how the sun comes in between five and seven in the winter. The inmate responds by asking what the
“fu**” he is talking about. Auggie then begins to explain how he likes the feel of the sun on his skin. The inmate asks him what he will do if he refuses to move. The other inmates congregate behind Auggie. The inmate gets up and Auggie victoriously takes his throne. The inmates drop to their knees and start chanting “All hail the white dragon.” Auggie seems to be enjoying it and that’s the end of the episode.

 

Peacemaker Review

It is becoming more apparent, this is the perfect role for John Cena. Surprisingly, his acting is not bad.  Peacemaker crying adds a bit of realism to the show.

The constant criticism of the Peacemaker by the other characters is getting old fairly quickly. Hopefully, Peacemaker’s self-esteem is high enough to overcome the consistent battering.

The dialogue is funny at times but mostly cringeworthy.  If you like Cena, you may be able to overlook these idiosyncrasies.

The episode deserves a 6. Get more Peacemaker recaps here. Support the Reelmockery team by clicking here.