Wherever You Go, There You Are – The show begins with Mary Bonnet (Claudia O’Doherty) providing narration of her life as a widow. Alma Bonnet (Eden Grace Redfield) and Louis Bonnet (William Barber-Holler) are doing better than expected after losing their father. Community has been her biggest gift. The widow Ellen Conroy explains how she doesn’t show how she feels after the death of her husband, William in the past three months. Mary asks if she is happy. She acknowledges feeling happy. Mary suggests never apologizing because their husbands are dead, and they are still alive.

Wealthy Woman (Nancy Lantis) assures her that surviving a spouse is the greatest gift nature will ever give you. She utilizes Mary’s blossoming paintings as an example. When Mary admits she would’ve done it if her husband, Captain Stede Bonnet (Rhys Darby) was still alive, he says, “Darling.” As everyone stares, Mary gradually turns to look at Stede. The teacup in her hand tremors before Stede projectile vomits.

Stede is forcing Mary off her side of the bed. Stede wakes to say it was a “great night’s sleep.” Assuring there is nothing like sleeping on the ocean, he falls to the floor. She suggests he is still trying to adjust as well.

During a meal, Stede tells his children about treasure hunting with Blackbeard (Taika Waititi). Holding out the petrified orange, he asks if they can identify it. Alma looks unimpressed. When he tries to encourage her to look at it, she tells him that she hasn’t any interest in his “old food.” She slams her napkin down before walking away. Louis asks who he is. Mary scolds him but Stede assures her it is okay. He explains how he is his father. Louis hesitantly says he thought Doug was his father. Mary hushes him. Stede says, “Hmm before asking who’s Doug. She tells him that he gives her painting lessons.

Izzy Hands (Con O’Neill) informs the crew that Blackbeard is in a good mood, but still slightly unwell. Frenchie (Joel Fry) says he is okay even though he’s sick. Izzy Hands tells him that right before suggesting they clean the deck. The Swede (Nat Faxon) informs him that the crew already did it. Buttons (Ewen Bremner) assures him the deck is as good as it will get. Filling his mouth with coffee, Izzy Hands spits it on the deck. He says there is a spot you missed. After the crew is dismissed, he stops Lucius (Nathan Foad) as he prepares to pass. He informs him that Blackbeard requests his service. He dares him to say nothing of what he hears or sees or die a painful death.

Oluwande (Samson Kayo) enters a room to find Jim/Boniface (Vico Ortiz) standing there. She asks what happened to the room. He admits to giving it to Wee John Feeney (Kristian Nairn) and Frenchie. She questions why he decided to give it away. He tells her that he missed her. She kisses him until they fall to the floor.

Mary introduces Stede to your art studio. As he stares in awe at a painting, Doug (Tim Heidecker) tells him it is his favorite. Mary hurriedly introduces the two men. Doug informs Mary that her fliers have arrived. Stede questions what the fliers are intended for. She provides him with a brief explanation. When he asks to view them, she hesitantly hands them over. He reads the flier, which states, “Paintings by the Widow Bonnet.” He suggests altering her name since she is no longer a widow. She admits to contemplating not changing her name as it is believed to “add a bit of mystery.”

Lucius reluctantly enters Blackbeard’s tattered room. He is startled with Blackbeard gives away his location. Lucius questions his activities. He tells him about his building a fort out of blankets and writing lyrics, which he needs his assistance with. Blackbeard reads his lyrics aloud, “Hanging on by a thread, hanging on, shouldn’t let go. If I let go, all will fall. Fingers bleeding down to the bone now. Can’t let go, nothing makes sense, hold on, hold on.” As Lucius jots down his lyrics, he asks if it hates it. Lucius questions why he is hanging on. He assures him the lyrics don’t pertain to him but a fictional person. Lucius asks if the fictional person is struggling. Sobbing, he says maybe he should give up and die.

Stede gets a closer look at a painting of Mary and their children. The image has a shadow of a person who is probably him. As he dines along, he asks Blackback about his day. Approaching the art studio, he hears Mary and a male laughing. He gets a closer look to find them having sex.

Stede sits at one end of the table and Mary at the other, utilizing a newspaper as a shield. Once he gets her attention, he comments about her being out late last night. She says, “Yes.” He asks if she would like to enlighten him on Doug. She rants about her wonderful life, with him out of the picture. She informs him that her art exhibit is at 6 and to not expect her home for supper.

Lucius barges into Oluwande’s room to find him in the bed with Jim. He stands there shocked as Jim reminds him of the sock tied to the door. He hurriedly informs them of the captain’s celebration before rushing out the door.

Blackbeard sings his lyrics as Frenchie plays the mandolin and Wee John, Lucius, and Black Pete (Matthew Maher) watch. Everyone claps when his tune comes to an end. Wee John refers to him as “Ed” when he pays him a compliment. Izzy Hands reminds him that his name is no Ed, but Captain or Blackbeard. Blackbeard informs him of his decision to no longer be called Blackbeard, but Edward. He encourages the crew to express themselves through their songs. He offers Lucius to jot down the lyrics. Buttons responds by saying his genius doesn’t translate into the human language, just a single tone. Roach (Samba Schutte) and Fang (David Fane) stare in horror. Blackbeard questions why they’re pirates when they are geniuses. He suggests they do a talent show. Everyone gets excited, excluding Izzy Hands.

The window Evelyn Higgins (Kristen Johnston) assists in setting up Mary’s art show. Out of the blue, Mary suggests things would’ve been better if Stede had really died. Evelyn offers her services. Shocked, Mary asks for details. She reminds her of Marcus, a lazy undertaker who reported all causes of death as “natural causes, including murder.

While Stede has a drink, his attempt at talking to a man about drinking ale on The Revenge falters. Jeffrey (Dominic Burgess) greets Stede who doesn’t seem to remember him. He reluctantly questions him about a rumor of him being a pirate. When Stede says it is okay to laugh, Jeffery admits he wishes he had only a small portion of his guts. He explains how he seldomly rides his horse that has periodic diarrhea to the store. When he introduces The Gentleman Pirate to the other men, he gets a roaring cheer. He tells them about his duel with Blackbeard’s mate, Izzy Hands. Someone questions Blackbeard’s bloodthirsty ways. He initially describes him as “lovely,” but later adds that he is the devil’s spawn. A well-heeled investor (Christian Lagadec) asks if he ever killed someone. He explains how death is just part of a pirate’s life before having a flashback of killing Captain Nigel Badminton (Rory Kinnear).

The investor assures the others that Stede has never taken a life. In a different tone, he admits to being responsible for death, which changes you. He gets a round of cheers, with a beer.

Blackbeard cleans up his room while Izzy Hands looks at his image in a book. Izzy Hands admits he shouldn’t have interfered when the English tried to kill him. He says death wouldn’t be as bad as what he has become. Blackbeard assures him that he is still Blackbeard. Holding up his image, Izzy Hands angrily says, “This is Blackbeard.” He teases him about longing for his boyfriend when Blackbeard shoves him against the wall. With his hand around his throat, he warns him to be careful what he says next. Izzy Hands issues him a threat before making his exit. The crew chant, “Edward.”

Mary is disappointed to see Stede. Evelyn rushes in his direction, but Mary stops her. He introduces himself as Mary’s “undead groom” before saying she isn’t a widow. When Doug approaches from behind, Stede grabs a knife and slings him down onto the table. All the attendees stare in horror.

As Stede prepares for bed, he apologizes for drinking too much. He informs her that she is forgiven for having an affair with Doug. Mary has a flashback of Evelyn classifying murder as a natural cause. A man nearby fills a skewer with vegetables. She stuffs the skewer into her shirt. Sneaking up on a sleeping Stede, she places the tip of the skewer in his ear when he suddenly awakens. He scolds her for trying to stab him with a skewer. She proudly admits guilt. He suggests a pillow or gun. She says a gunshot would wake their kids and a pillow felt “tricky.” She admits to thinking of other options but didn’t want to delay his death. He asks if he no longer belongs there.

When Mary apologizes about her affair with Doug, Stede assures her it isn’t necessary. He questions what being in love feels like. As she explains what it feels like, he has a flashback of his time with Blackbeard. She assures him that she hopes he finds love someday. He tells her that he believes he already has found it. She asks the lady’s name. He admits it is Ed as she gives him a hug.

A sullen Blackbeard rubs his fingers through Stede’s red scarf. He has a flashback of the day Stede stuffs it into his vest pocket. He lets the wind swoop in and carry it away. Lucius approaches to discuss the talent show. Without warning, he shoves him into the water. Lucius screams while taking in gulps of water.

Blackbeard hangs his photo on the wall with a knife. He lets his beard grow back out and dons his Blackbeard leather outfit and dagger. He snips off Izzy Hands’ pinkie toe while he sleeps. As he screams in pain, he assures him it is just his baby toe. He forces him to eat his toe. He warns him to never threaten him again or eat the rest of his toes. Izzy Hands asks if he should get Lucius to document their activities. He informs him of Lucius’ death.

Izzy Hands forces the crew to toss all Stede’s books into the sea. Fang asks how he hurt his foot. He tells them that old Blackbeard is back.

When Stede wakes Mary, she asks if he made her a breakfast tray. He tells her it wasn’t him, but Doug. He says after a discussion with Doug, they figured they needed a corpse.

Stede warns Mary that their plan must be convincing. Mary and Stede ask Evelyn if she might have a corpse. She promises to check with her son, Melvin. Evelyn introduces them to Ned, a jaguar. He asks if they can borrow Ned later today.

Izzy Hands drops Oluwande, Buttons, Black Pete, The Swede, Roach, and Wee John off on a small island. He informs them that Blackbeard expects a magnificent talent show. Black Pete asks if Lucius was ever found. Wee John assures him that he will surface. Oluwande asks about Jim. Before Ivan (Guz Khan) starts rowing back to The Revenge, Izzy Hands promises Blackbeard and the others will be there soon.

Blackbeard warns Jim that he has been watching her before inviting her to join his new crew. She asks what he has done to his face. He assumes that means she agrees to join his crew. When he nods, someone hits her from behind. She falls to the floor. Frenchie is ordered to enter the room. Blackbeard asks if he knows how to sew. He says, “Sew like the wind,” causing a stir of laughter.

Louis questions if he will really be dead. Alma assures him that it is nothing more than “make-believe.” Stede tries to explain but she tells him Mary already talked to her about it. She describes his plan as a good kind of sick. She hands him half of the petrified orange, so they will both have a piece. Doug drops off the pig’s blood.

Two piano workers (Rawle D. Lewis and Joberde Metellus) hoist up a coffin. One of the men explains how they were only paid to hoist the coffin part of the way. A group of locals looks at a flier, warning of an escaped jungle cat. Doug assures them that it is a dangerous situation because the cat is feral.

Mary thanks her friends for helping dismantle her art exhibit. Standing in the center of the street, Stede apologizes for his drunken behavior last night. Mary screams at him to alert him of the jungle cat. He assures her that he has it under control while secretively holding out a piece of chicken. He rushes inside a building, with the cat in tow. The townspeople, Mary, and Evelyn scream in horror.

The Revenge crew set up the talent show. Black Pete asks if their return seems to be taking a long time. Oluwande says The Revenge appears to be leaving. Standing on the deck, Blackbeard says goodbye to “Stede’s playthings.”

The townspeople watch as Stede makes a ruckus inside the building. Mary’s friends comfort her as Stede smears pig’s blood all over his face. The jungle cat eats chicken. He stumbles out of the building to assure the onlookers that he is okay. A horse and carriage run over top of him. He hurriedly tosses the corpse to the ground before jumping inside the carriage. The piano falls on top of the corpse. A lady passes out. Inside the carriage, Stede says, “Now, that is a fu**ery.”

Stede pulls his dinghy into the water. He rolls out to see. Mary explains to the crowd that Stede was sick before making a toast. Fang is behind the helm. Blackbeard and Izzy Hands stand watching Frenchie raise a new flag. Jim comes through to find Ivan watching over her. Blackbeard sits in his room alone sobbing. The rest of the crew left on the island are becoming desperately vulnerable. Buttons begins to salivate over The Swede’s behind. Black Pete, Roach, and Buttons try to get The Swede. Oluwande sees Stede in the view of his telescope. Stede holds up his hand as the episode comes to an end.

 

Our Flag Means Death Review

While I have enjoyed the series tremendously, I must admit this was a lackluster finale. Like many others shows, the crew was more concerned about scoring a second season than giving viewers a fulfilling finale. By the way, HBO announced on June 1, that the show would be renewed for a second season. After this pitiful finale, I am questioning if I want to hang around for another season.

The show ended on a cliffhanger, with Stede giving up his family to return to Blackbeard and the sea and Blackbeard returning to his old life of crime. There is no guarantee, a second season will bring resolution to what feels like an incomplete show. Imagine if HBO decided to not renew.

The acting, cinematography, and editing are flawless. The only complaint I can think of is the finale, which left too many open-ended scenarios.

The finale deserves a 6. Get more Our Flag Means Death recaps here. Support Reel Mockery by clicking on the link.