As the third episode of Boat Story begins, a man enters a French shop and asks for water. An adult comes out to check on Mr. Pascal seconds later. Pascal reminds him that they’ve refinanced the loans three times already. The manager refuses to cut back staff because they’re more than just staff. In the present, The Tailor (Tcheky Karyo) dreams about Pat Tooh (Joanna Scanlan). Janet (Daisy Haggard) and Samuel (Paterson Joseph) get the drugs from the storage facility. In the car, she begins worrying because her tattoo has rubbed off. Samuel tells her to stay in the car. Vinnie Douglas (Adam Gillen) checks the drugs with help from Bottlehead.

Once they take the drugs, Samuel is given three bags of money. Ben (Ethan Lawrence) gets a call from Pat. They ramble about Martin Luther King Day for a while before Ben tells her about the pamphlet he found. He is at the Chinese restaurant now. Ben explains that the gunman took the voucher from the pamphlet. His friend Rob who knows a detective on the Major Enquiry Team and they say they’ve got nothing. Pat thinks Ben should just hand in the evidence. Samuel calls Dave to say he will be paying him back today. However, he ends up going into a betting shop, buying shoes, and getting a massage. Peter Jeffries (Craig Kelly) sits with Janet who tells him what she wanted. Janet thought he was a saint when she first met him.

She shows him the bag full of money. She offers him 100k to put the brakes on his plan to go to Australia. Janet offers another 100k if he lets her go through the process of legally adopting Alan. When it’s official, he’ll get another 200. Peter admits he wants it and he knows a bloke who can make it happen quickly. He agrees to get the ball rolling before leaving with the money. Ben sits on a bench with Guy (Craig Fairbrass). Ben tells him about The Shang Emperor around the corner. Guy says he is just waiting for something. They talk about people who don’t wait around for things. Guy notices a woman with a white Pomeranian on the beach before excusing himself. Samuel goes home where he speaks to Anya (Cherie Gordon) about Camilla.

Anya says she went to walk the dog hours ago and she isn’t responding. Samuel doesn’t think it is a big deal. Actors play out Samuel’s story on stage. Guy follows Camilla (Michele Austin). The Tailor goes into Pat’s shop to invite her out for dinner and drinks. Pat isn’t interested though. She doesn’t want to start something that will end one day soon. The Tailor wants to pay for a pasty before he leaves. Pat notices an old picture, but The Tailor won’t tell her anything about it. Samuel calls Janet to say they need to meet urgently. She is surprised to learn that Samuel wants to celebrate. Camilla ends up arriving unexpectedly. Samuel says Janet is Sally and they’ve known each other for years. Camilla invites her around for dinner to see the house. Janet goes there that night.

While they have dinner, Guy watches them from outside. Guy sneaks into the house and Anya doesn’t notice. When they’re alone, Samuel tells Janet they should go to the storage unit tomorrow and divide the money. Guy listens from nearby. As he walks away, they hear a loud bang. It is only Camilla who has made a mess in the kitchen. Guy calls someone to tell them what he just heard. Alan Jeffries (Oliver Sheridan) meets Janet who is thinking about buying him a new tuba. He questions what is going on since they can’t afford it. Janet tells him that she is going to become his legal guardian. Belinda (Francesca Mills) watches as Janet arrives at the storage facility to meet Samuel. Guy holds them at gunpoint and shows them that the money is already gone. Janet and Samuel begin blaming each other.

Guy makes them promise on their lives that they don’t know where the money is. Then, he takes them to the front desk to ask Belinda if they can look at the CCTV in the corridor. When they watch the CCTV footage, they see Peter approaching their storage unit and walking away. The CCTV video stops before the unit is broken into. They try to find Peter. Guy says he isn’t going to bother The Tailor until he gets the cash. Guy tells them about the voucher he has for The Shang Emperor. Pat meets Ben and tells him about the doctor’s visit. Ben tells her that The Tailor bought everything they had. The Tailor tells Pat that he just wanted to get her attention. He reminds her that she never gave him a chance to respond. The Tailor suggests he doesn’t have to be just a visitor. He gives Pat his number. Before he leaves, he says he knows how this ends.

Janet worries that she is going to put a target on Alan’s back when she sees them outside. Samuel tells her that everyone they love is already in danger. Janet knocks on the window and tells Peter to come outside. Peter acts like he knows nothing about the money from the storage unit. When Guys out a gun, Peter says he got suspicious so he checked out her online banking. He found the payment for the storage unit. He went and took a look, but he insists he didn’t take the money. Guy finds out about Alan when he steps outside. Alan shows them the video from the smart doorbell to prove Peter didn’t take the money. Janet scolds Alan to get him to leave. Guy threatens Peter before letting him leave. He decides to take Janet and Samuel to The Tailor. Janet and Samuel suggest the guy from the storage unit named Harold might have the money.

Janet manages to find an address for the fan mail on his page so Guy takes them there. Guy pulls a gun on Harold who says the money is under his bed and he hasn’t spent any of it. Guy shoots him in the head. Although they found the money, Ben is still trying to find them. Then, Samuel and Janet are taken to The Tailor. He tells them why he is a tailor and how it is in his blood. Samuel says half a million is gone, but he believes they can get it back. The Tailor learns they got five million from the first transaction. He says the product on the boat should’ve fetched twice the amount they were paid. The Tailor thinks he gets a text but doesn’t. He tells Guy to kill them. Janet begins begging them not to kill her. She asks for a day to get their money back. The Tailor says those are the words he used with Patricia.

The Tailor asks Janet for advice about the woman. He eventually gets a text from Pat who wants to meet for a date. The Tailor says he’ll be there for longer than he planned. He tells Guy to keep an eye on them before saying he is rooting for them. The Tailor asks Janet what he should say to Pat. In a flashback, The Tailor rides with his dad and brother. They get into a crash. Madame Bethune, who looks like Pat, takes care of him after the accident.

 

Boat Story Review

The third episode of Boat Story continued with the illogical nonsense that made the first two episodes so difficult to enjoy. There are moments in each episode when things click and it seems like everything is going to work out well. Then, there is a silly twist or cringe dialogue that brings viewers back to reality. The idea isn’t even that original considering New Zealand’s Far North covered something similar just months ago.

The primary difference was that Far North tried to at least take the story seriously even if it didn’t succeed in many areas. Boat Story feels incredibly drug out with so many unnecessary scenes including the play based on Janet and Samuel’s story. If these scenes were authentically funny, it’d be easier to overlook the glacial pace but they’re not. This really feels like a missed opportunity with such a good cast.

Unfortunately, this is only going to be a decent time killer for viewers who can stomach the sheer stupidity of many scenes. Even then, the script is predictable with The Tailor’s obsession with Pat fitting into that category. This is just another series that will be quickly forgotten after the finale because it doesn’t do anything great to stand out. This episode scores a 4.5 out of 10. Recaps of Boat Story can be found on Reel Mockery here.

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