As the opening episode of Archie begins, Cary Grant (Jason Isaacs) says he should’ve been happier because he had everything and everyone loved him. He even got to choose his own name.

An Evening With Cary Grant – Joliet, Illinois 1986 – Cary admits a long story would explain why he wasn’t happy. He goes on stage and talks to the audience briefly before sitting down for questions. When asked how he becomes someone else, Cary says a lot of people believe he doesn’t. He admits he is a character. He explains that he made up the perfect man in order to survive.

Bristol, England – 1911 – Archie Leach and John come inside because John has hurt himself. His mother scolds him. Later, Archie listens to his mother complain to his father about being unable to put enough food on the table. His dad tells her she is like a yapping dog. His mom, Elsie, finds out that John is in pain so she tries to tend to him. She believes they should take him to the doctor because the wound is infected. The father, Elias, argues the doctor can’t do any more for him than they have.

In the morning, Archie tells his father, Elias (Henry Lloyd-Hughes), that he hates his clothes. At home, Elsie tells Archie to pick food up off the floor and eat it. Then, he tells him to eat on the floor. If he can’t eat properly at the table, he doesn’t deserve to eat at the table. Later, Elsie and Elias argue about taking John to the doctor. Archie hears her mother crying and asking how she’ll bear it. He watches through the window as a coffin is taken away.

1986 – Cary admits all he ever wanted to do was feel love. He decides to end the speech early.

1911 – Archie goes to John’s gravesite with his mother. While cleaning at home, Elsie screams. Archie listens as Elsie and Elias argue. She complains that they’re hungry because they don’t have anything to eat. Elsie admits she should’ve listened to her mother and never married him. In the morning, she says she doesn’t want to go. Elias believes it would help because they can give her medicine for her nerves. He doesn’t think Elsie has been fair to Archie. She goes upstairs where she tells Archie that she’ll let him go.

Elsie is taken to the Fishponds Asylum in Bristol. Elias promises this is for the best. She tells the staff that she wants to go home only to learn she can’t because her husband had her committed. One day, Archie goes home and his dad tells him to pack his stuff. Elias takes his son to Mabel (Kat Kleve) who refuses to take him. Then, Elias tries to get his mom to take Archie but she won’t. She changes her mind when he offers two shillings a week. Archie says he came home week after week hoping his mother would be there. She never was. Eventually, Elias visits and tells Archie that he needs to be a good lad for his grandmother.

He admits he won’t be able to see him for a while because he has to look after Mabel and the baby now. Elias tells him that his mother passed away. Before he leaves, he asks Archie not to come around Mabel’s place looking for him. Archie was alone. That’s exactly how he found himself in the summer of 1961. The ink was drying on his third divorce and Sophia Loren was refusing to answer his calls.

1961 – Archie sees a woman on television. He calls Stanley Fox (Jason Watkins) and asks him to set up a meeting for him. Once they meet, Stanley reveals the girl doesn’t want to meet him. Archie doesn’t understand that since he thought Hitch could use her in a movie. The girl said she was moving abroad somewhere. Stanley eventually says that the girl’s name is Dyan Cannon. Then, they start talking about James Bond and Dr. No. Stanley reveals they want a four-picture deal. Archie wants him to tell them no way and to tell Dyan Cannon that he’ll wait for her to get back. Archie ends up meeting Dyan Cannon (Laura Aikman) at Universal Studios.

Archie tells her she is more attractive in person. Dyan says the same about him. He wants to know about her. Dyan says her mother is Jewish and her father is Christian. She talks about herself as they hang out and play games. Dyan can’t believe it has been four hours. Archie hopes to see her again. He confesses he only wanted to meet her because he was intrigued.

Benedict Canyon – Los Angeles 1986 – Dr. Hansen (Bruce Lester-Johnson) visits Archie to discuss what happened at the show. Hansen reveals that Archie has had a mild stroke. Archie is told he should slow down since he isn’t young anymore. If he has another stroke, it could be fatal. Archie continues doing appearances anyway. It eventually brings him to dear old Bob Pender.

Bristol Hippodrome – England – 1918 – A young Archie watches Bob Pender (Ian Puleston-Davies) perform. Archie follows him backstage to ask how he can get a tryout. After checking him out, Bob says he’ll need a signed letter from his dad for permission to audition. He talks about the possibility of touring the country and going to New York. Archie goes home where he creates a letter from his father. While Archie is on stage, Elias shows up. Bob admits he knows he faked the letter. Elias says he is too young to go, but Archie reminds him he hasn’t seen him in years. After an argument between Archie and Elias, Bob tries to convince Elias to give his son permission.

Elias agrees before telling Archie he is no longer his responsibility. Archie goes to New York with Bob and his troupe. Bob tells Archie that the feeling is the best in the world because the audience is giving him love. Archie talks to Rose about Wisconsin. He asks if she has a fella before performing for her. She gives him her opinion before kissing him. Then, they have sex. Rose says she isn’t anyone’s girl. If he said he was in love with her, he’d have a lot to learn. She has to keep herself available for the rich guy who is going to marry her and take her away. Archie tells himself he is going to become rich.

In the present, Archie films James Bond. Alfred Hitchcock (Ian McNeice) tells him that his soon to be ex-wife rang the house last night and had a long chat with Alma. Archie starts telling him about his new girl until Archie stops him because he doesn’t want to know anymore. Archie calls Dyan to ask her to come to his house to get something to eat. They go inside and sing together until dinner is ready. They end up eating in his bed. Dyan says she is single because she hasn’t met her soul mate yet. She wants what her parents have. Archie realized a long time ago that he isn’t good at being married.

Dyan believes that’s a cop-out. When she asks why he never had children, Archie admits he doesn’t want them. He doesn’t want to be tied down ever again.

Past – Bob tells his troupe that their stay comes to an end tomorrow. Archie tells another boy that he is going to stay because he doesn’t have anything worth going home for. He is going to stay and become a star. Bob pays his rent for a month and gives him money for a return fare in case he changes his mind.

 

Archie Review

Based on the opening episode of Archie, I was genuinely expecting more although there are still three episodes for this to dig deeper and turn around. While the accents aren’t spectacular, the performances are mostly okay. The script feels really shallow and not nearly as comprehensive as it should’ve been.

This should be an emotional story about Archie’s upbringing, but large chunks of that have already been skipped. On top of that, the series is leaning too heavily into the romance and sex aspect of the story. After watching the first episode, I still know very little about Archie Leach and his childhood and I suspect some of the scenes weren’t accurate.

Based on the early description of the series, I expected a lot more about Cary Grant’s youth. The way it skimmed through his tumultuous childhood created an emotionless experience. It is unfortunate really because that’s where the series would’ve excelled. The opening episode scores a 6 out of 10. Recaps of Archie can be found on Reel Mockery here.

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