Uncoupled – As this episode of Almost Paradise begins, Lourdes (Sarah Edwards) is told that her mother and father will no longer give her any money. Lourdes reads from a paper when she tells her mother that she’ll have to cut off all communication. She claims she is going to heal the world with the people there. After the call, Winston Strong tells Lourdes they’re proud of her. Since he thinks she is ready for the next level, he welcomes her to the inner circle, the Camarilla. Kai Mendoza (Samantha Richelle) meets Lourdes’s parents, Reyna and Laurence.

Laurence (Lloyd Samartino) explains that the group brainwashed their daughter. Reyna (Rina Reyes) says they find vulnerable women and target their families financially. The place is called Hiraya and claims it can help build back a young woman’s self-esteem. Lourdes was sucked in after a bad breakup. It is supposed to be a 10-day workshop, but it has been almost five months. Lourdes has asked for money regularly and refuses to come home. The women there seem to be under the spell of Winston Strong (Jackson Gallagher). Kai isn’t sure she can do anything because it is outside of their jurisdiction.

Her parents offer to pay to send Kai to Hiraya so she can help. It’ll work because they’re offering a couples retreat that begins this weekend. Alex Walker (Christian Kane) is surprised when Lockhart (John Storey) enters his shop. Lockhart says it is a personal trip so Alex suspects he is going to propose to Trudy. Lockhart says he’ll see how it goes. Kai enters and says hello to him. He tells Kai that Trudy is at the spa and he can’t seem to get her out of there. If it goes well, Lockhart wants to have dinner to celebrate later. Once they’re alone, Kai tells Alex about Lourdes’s case and the upcoming retreat for couples.

She eventually talks Alex into doing it. They catch up with Ernesto Alamares (Arthur Acuna) who is humored by their attire. Kai insists they’re not kidnapping anyone because she only promised she’d give her an assessment. They want to make sure Ernesto will be there on Sunday to pick them up. When Alex and Kai make it to Hiyara, they see Lockhart and worry he could create problems for them. They try to get to him before he can blow their cover. Lockhart reveals Trudy has run off with a massage therapist. Everyone is asked to hand over their cellphones before Alex notices that they have armed guards.

Winston welcomes everyone and says they’re on the retreat to celebrate love. When he confronts Lockhart, he tells him he’ll need to work on his relationship with himself. The exercises begin as Alex is asked to say something real about Kai. He tells her that she always seems to surprise him. Alex doesn’t like it when Kai isn’t able to say one nice thing about him. Then, they’re told to shut their eyes and feel the vibrations of their chosen partners. They separate from their loved ones to experience their first gendered intensive. The men will go with the protectorate into the jungle. Kai tells Alex to settle down before reminding him this is about Lourdes.

Erik (Dustin Clare) comes in so he can lead the men. The women are asked to follow them to the Togetherness Tent. Ernesto finds out that something is wrong with the boat and he can’t get a signal on his phone. He hopes he’ll be able to use the radio, but it malfunctions as well. Erik takes the men outside so they can throw axes. He thinks Lockhart has been abused by a woman. When Alex throws his, he manages to hit the center. While Kai enjoys a drink, she tries to speak to Lourdes about Hiraya. Lourdes gets pulled away before she can answer. Kai is told that they’re forbidden from talking to anyone outside of the Camarilla.

The women are told that they deserve this level of care and comfort. Ernesto tries to keep himself busy on the boat. Winston tells everyone to blindfold their partners. Then, they will help their blindfolded partner explore new tactile experiences and the textures of the environment around them. Alex tells Kai that he believes only one or two of the protectorate guys has any real training. Kai tells him that the women aren’t allowed to speak to outsiders. She is getting major predator vibes from Winston. Lockhart gets lost so he begins screaming for help. He ends up falling and getting hurt. Later, Alex and Kai realize they’re going to have to share one bed.

Lockhart wakes up and questions how long he has been out. He tries to build a shelter, but only makes things worse for himself. Alex tells Kai it’ll be tough to get Lourdes to open up. Kai hopes she’ll be able to get some time with her alone tomorrow. She tells Alex that he inspires her. They receive a visitor who tells them Winston wants Kai to join him in the meditation circle. In private, Kai tells Alex that this could be her chance to talk to Lourdes. Meanwhile, Lourdes complains about her being there because it was supposed to be her special night. The women begin preparing Kai for something.

Alex sneaks over and listens to them as Kai asks why she is allowed to join Winston’s inner circle so soon. He tells her about the steps with the first being accepting something is wrong with her husband. Winston claims there is a darkness in Alex because his eyes are spiritually dead. He suggests he can offer her a chance at a new life, but Kai wants to return to her room. Winston stops her before suggesting she is the type of woman who likes a struggle. Kai takes him down and walks out of the room while Winston yells that she can’t leave. She tells Alex that Winston finds naïve women and grooms them to be his physical property. As they talk about getting Lourdes out, they hear a scream in the distance.

When they rush back inside, they find Lourdes holding a knife above Winston who has been stabbed. Once Alex convinces her to put the knife down, Erik has his men take her. After the couples are ordered back to their tents, Alex tells Kai not to make herself known because something isn’t right there. Back in their quarters, Alex says he finds it odd that the murder weapon was an M3 fighting knife. She was holding the blade down, but the wound seemed to be from an upward strike. Kai thinks Lourdes was more disappointed than jealous when she was picked to join Winston. They want to find out who the other couples are so they need access to the office.

Kai reveals she already took his keys. Lockhart still tries to find a way to survive in the jungle. Alex and Kai make it to the office and access the computer. They find information about everyone who has ever done a seminar. The whole thing started as a multilevel marketing company. They’ve been taking advantage of Monique’s family for the last five years or so. Monique (Madeleine Humphries) has a stepsister named Heidi. Alex begins making a murder board. Ernesto finally gets a response over the radio. Monique and others storm into the room before finding out who Alex and Kai are. They tell Monique that they know who killed Winston.

Once they get everyone together, Alex and Kai go through the events leading up to the murder. Alex saw Monique leave and the women of the Camarilla confirmed that she returned. Lourdes was there and didn’t leave for several minutes. Alex and Kai believe Lourdes had pulled the knife out after finding Winston’s body. They argue that she screamed because she found the body. Then, they blame Dan who is married to Heidi. Alex says Dan and Heidi came to the island to free Monique, but they have an alibi. They go on to explain why Janice (Kestie Morassi) and the guards with her are also cleared. Alex accuses Erik of being Winston’s murderer.

Kai says Erik killed Winston because of Janice who wanted him dead. When asked why Erik would do that, Kai reveals that he is Janice’s husband. Janice says he is her ex-husband. Alex says Winston seduced her and pulled her away from Erik decades ago. Erik says she became CFO while he was relegated to march in Winston’s little army. Winston told him to join the protectorate or leave Hiraya. Erik says Winston has tricked every one of them and he only regrets not framing Alex properly. Erik ends up grabbing Lourdes and holding her at gunpoint. He tells the guards that he has removed all the firing pins from the guns.

Erik tries to convince Janice that they have another chance together. Janice asks him to leave the girl and go. Alex and Kai chase him on a golf cart when he flees. They run into Lockhart who says he has found his inner warrior. Lockhart takes Lourdes back to the encampment while Alex and Kai try to deal with Erik. In the end, Erik and Janice are arrested. Ernesto shows up because his rescuers were coming to the retreat. Lourdes thanks them for saving her before she is returned to her parents. Alex and the others celebrate with a drink. Kai thanks him for what he said during that exercise. Alex believes what she said in the bed was sincere, but she says she was only trying to be nice.

 

Almost Paradise Review

While none of the episodes this season were particularly impressive, this one seemed to be extra lackluster. The story was just too dry without any genuine emotions. For starters, the primary characters were only barely introduced so it was really hard to care what happened to any of them.

Throughout the episode, none of the characters’ names were mentioned. It would be difficult to know who was on the island besides Winston and Erik. Then, Kai and Alex go on a rant explaining why all these characters weren’t killers while using their names. That is great and all, but it would be impossible to know who these people are or to care because they were so halfheartedly introduced.

Furthermore, making Erik the killer was very predictable, especially for anyone who knows Dustin Clare. That’s the issue with having 10 episodes each season. At some point, the writers are going to run out of fresh ideas. This episode scores a 4 out of 10. Recaps of Almost Paradise are available on Reel Mockery here.

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