Ruby – The show begins with Alma (Sophie Willan) visiting the escort service. Upon her arrival, Ray-Ray (Thanyia Moore) is on the phone. When she hangs up, she invites Alma in for a seat. Ray-Ray suggests Alma take an alias that says exotic beauty or the girl next door, not I’m odd. Alma contradicts her, saying Alma means soulful in Latin. She deems her Ruby, explaining how escorting works. It is not just about going out to dinner it is about sex. She admits to being a former escort, now she owns two homes and three businesses.

Alma and Leanne (Jayde Adams) are shopping at an exotic shop. They discuss the escort clothing. Leanne questions if she truly wants to be an escort. She is now open to the money and everything else about escorting. She calls her exes “fu**wits.” Her relationship with Anthony (James Baxter) was initially all about fighting and shagging. One day it just stopped. When Anthony wanted to shag, it was like asking for a cup of tea. They sit on the sofa watching TV when Anthony out of the blue asks if he can bum her tonight. She agrees but he will need to hurry. She leans over the table, eating a biscuit while Anthony does all the work. Escorting is a new start that will give her a boatload of money and sexual experiences. Leanne warns her about escorting on the rebound.

Alma sits in the car waiting for the right minute to meet her first customer. The driver, Zee (Islah Abdur-Rahman) gives her encouragement. She says I’m a sexy woman of the world, making money. He gives her a few instructions and off she goes. She talks to herself all the way to the hotel, where she meets the doorman. Instead of entering the hotel, she goes to the toilet at the nearby library. Zee questions Alma’s behavior. She drinks a beer on the library floor.

Leanne tells Alma her only option is to get a real job as she kneads dough. Alma believes she is not meant to hold a normal job. She tells Leanne she may have been born in the wrong social bracket. With her mouth full of ramen noodles, she says I should have been a Kardashian or baroness. Leanne yells for her boss, Phil (Ben Willbond) to ask if he would be willing to hire Alma. He honestly would not, nor would he hire Leanne if he had it to do over. She says his comment is hurtful, believing she brings a lot to the table. She entices Alma to not be truthful when applying for jobs.

Phil says he was hoodwinked by Leanne because she lied about a degree in hospitality management. It wasn’t until she won him over the he discovered the truth. It isn’t about a job for Alma, it is about adventure and sex. Within seconds, Leanne creates Alma a Tinder profile. She warns Alma she needs to be tough to endure what Tinder has to offer.

Alma is in a restaurant with her mum, Lin (Siobhan Finneran), Grandma Joan (Lorraine Ashbourne), and Lin’s boyfriend, Jim (Nicholas Asbury). They discuss Tinder, causing Grandma Joan confusion. Lin snarls her nose, saying you don’t need that “shite,” you need someone who is turned onto your weirdness. When she brings Jim into the conversation, he sneezes after sniffing a bottle of what looks like salt. She thought her man would be like Sid Vicious, not like Jim who has low self-esteem because of his posture. Feminist Grandma Joan wants to know about “Tinny.” Alma says Tinder users can request dick pics. She asks if it is like try it before you buy it, women have been dissatisfied with the size of male penises for far too long. Shining the kitchen floor doesn’t give women orgasms.

Grandma Joan has been a feminist since the 90s at uni. She believes women should do anything that men do, even if it is sexual harassment. When Alma went to live with her, she was selling sex toys. She was rummaging through Grandma Joan’s things when she found a cock keychain, which she passed around to her friends. She mistakenly thought the dick keychains were a “Muppets” character named “Beaker”. Lin and Alma laugh at Grandma Joan’s comment, “Life’s too short to sniff a mushroom.” Lin and Grandma Joan agree people with beards should not be permitted to eat in restaurants. She tracked her DNA all the way back to Nicaragua, believing her family should be in the mountains.

Alma practices for a job interview when Grandma Joan enters to talk about her Tinder profile. She has dick pics coming out of her ears. An incoming dick pic is from a dog lover, which she is not having. Alma hands her the interview questions, so she can help her practice for an upcoming interview for a sandwich artist.

Alma is amid a job interview at SubNGo. Gregg (Chris Cantrill) asks about her career goal. Her goal is to be an actor. He directs her attention to the sandwich artist position. She wants to be a supervisor. He asks what she would be to the SubNGo family. He is amazed by her answer, which is directed toward her astrological sign, Libran. She is charming and determined. When he agrees to put her on a trial, she is shocked, saying “fu** off” before quickly apologizing. She promises he will not regret his decision.

Leanne is making a sandwich while Alma talks to Gaz on Tinder. She scolds Alma for sending the message in the “spitballing” phase because it wasn’t ready. Alma suggests a petition to force Tinder to add a delete option to its platform. Leanne takes control of the situation, with Alma suggesting she be careful as they are very different people. Leanne scored her a date for tonight and two more pending requests. Alma now describes herself as a “normal being” after getting a job and a date.

Alma is on a date with John (Peter Slater) who is passionate about taxidermy. He describes taxidermy as stuffing dead animal skin, with real-life effects. She appears turned off. He tells it is a form of art. She questions John’s Tinder profile pick, saying it is quite different than his current appearance. His Tinder photo has hair and a stronger facial profile. He is fairly new to Tinder but had a lot of dates. Raising his voice, he warns her not to be jealous. She promises not to be jealous. He tells her his late date was with a woman named Joan who dressed in animal prints. She informs him Joan was probably her grandma. He is elated, asking if she would like some pudding.

Gregg is working when alma emerges with the SubNGo t-shirt. He welcomes her to the family as she voices complaints about the “masochistic” sandwich called Sergio. He explains everyone has to wear Sergio in the beginning. She goes on a tangent about her hat hair. He refuses to let her off the hook. He hands her a pail of cleaning supplies. She cleans the oven, glass bread case as he supervises and eats a muffin. He isn’t happy about her taking a muffin without asking. She looks into the lobby, which is empty, asking if he minds taking over during the mad rush. He gives her a sad face for taking a muffin without asking. She watches, taking a huge bite of the muffin.

After a break, Alma dances while sloppily mops the floor. She greets a customer, describing Sergio as creepy and possibly into cannibalism. The customer asks for something healthy, which Alma claims they do not have. She points to Gregg who appears to be asleep, saying he is “fu**ed” because he eats there every day. Gregg wakes up as Alma is hitting two loaves of bread together, giving her another sad face.

Leanne and Alma are at a pub. Her date was a no-show, so Leanne has another test in mind. She recommends getting drunk, finding a man she isn’t into, and having sex to see if he grows on her. They look around the room, Leanne finding a gentleman who she believes is a lion behind his doughy exterior. They wave at each other. Alma tries flirting with a man (Matthew Durkan) who doesn’t respond accordingly. She apologizes, claiming he looks like her cousin. Leanne blames her behavior on her long-term relationship with Anthony (James Baxter.) She says Alma has such low self-esteem she can’t wave at strangers. Leanne tells Alma to repeat after her, “I’m hot, I’m sexy and everybody wants to fu** me.” Everyone turns to look at them. They get shitfaced.

Alma ends up in the sack with the man who looks like her cousin. She is disappointed when the man can no longer continue after orgasm. He claims to be guilty because of his girlfriend. She calls him a shit shag and boring pissant, ordering him to cover her taxi fare. He gives her a handful of cash, but that isn’t enough. She also takes the lamp he loves before heading out the door.

Gregg is unhappily waiting on her as she rushes in the door at SubNGo. He reminds her she is late, with no hat. He threatens to finish off her half-face. She chides him for not doing it because he would have to fire her, leaving him with no one to work for free. When he agrees to do a quarter-face instead, she orders him to do the full face. She takes his marker, drawing a penis, with a smiley face tip. To top it off, she writes “I’m Gregg, I’m a prick.” He tells her it is time to leave. When she grabs a muffin, Gregg reminds her she didn’t work a full shift. She tosses it at him before leaving. A few seconds later, she returns to warn him if he dies today, SubNGo would replace him within a week.

Alma returns to the escort service, pleading with Ray-Ray for a second chance. Ray-Ray asks why she has changed her mind. Alma tells her about the SubNGo. Ray-Ray suggests escorting is like acting. She agrees, saying it would be the best paying acting job. Ray-Ray nods her in agreeance.

Alma tells herself she is an actress. Zee turns, asking if she is ready. She prepares to enter the hotel, waving at the doorman as she passes. She knocks on the hotel door. When it opens, she identifies herself as the episode comes to an end.

 

Alma’s Not Normal Review

Following the SubNGo debacle, Alma decides to give escorting another try. We will need to wait until the next episode to determine if she has finally found her calling.

The acting is spot-on, with fabulous Sophie Willan leading the pack. There really isn’t much to dislike about the show. If you don’t like to laugh, this show is not for you. Otherwise, grab a Sergio sandwich and enjoy.

The episode deserves an 8. Get more Alma’s Not Normal recaps here. Support ReelMockery by clicking the link.