Bachelor In Paradise – The episode picks up 10 years in the heroin-infused mind of Benjamin “Touch” Tuchawuski (Michael Trucco). Touch and his wife are in bed when their daughter, Donna (Charlotte Ann Tucker) wakes them to play with the gun from his holster. A gunshot stirs him from his intoxicated stupor. Checking his phone, he sees a missed call from Joe Washington (Deon Cole). He immediately strategizes a cover story by banging his head until it has a nice wound. Returning to his cruiser, he ingests more whiskey.

Angela Washington (Tammy Townsend) comforts Jennifer Washington (Jennifer Washington), struggling with the death of Dimitri Dzhugashvili (Chris Petrovski). Angela assures her that it was self-defense when disheveled Joe Washington (Deon Cole) returns from moving Dimitri and Georgi’s (Michael Vitovich) bodies. Jennifer scolds his actions. He claims Dimitri was only after Teddy’s drug money and he would have come after them next. Angela sends a distraught Jennifer to bed with a sleeping pill before rejoining Joe. She questions how “sweet” Dimitri could be wrapped up in a crime syndicate. He repeats what Dimitri told him about Teddy when Leon Montgomery (Malcolm Barrett) and Cathy (Cynthia Kaye McWilliams) pull into the driveway.

Outside, Cathy informs them of the incident at their home that led to the death of Nicolai’s henchman (Douglas Dean Mitchell). Leon is still in shock from barely escaping death. Molotov (Nikita Kirillov) spies on them from his vehicle a short distance away. Retrieving his weapon, he gradually approaches the house. Angela is none too thrilled with the idea of getting Touch involved. Joe explains his plan to dump their weighted bodies in the reservoir. Cathy voices concern about utilizing bricks from the hardware to weigh down the bodies. After reminding them of where the town’s drinking water comes from, she suggests chopping the body into pieces, covering it with peanut butter, and dumping them in the woods for the wildlife. By now, Molotov has discovered the bodies secured in garbage bags underneath a vehicle.

Angela is adamant about reporting the crime to the FBI but the others convince her that the FBI plays up to “blacks” that murder white people. She suggests dumping the bodies and finding the $10 million in drug money. Joe announces his plan to pay off their mortgage and Jennifer’s specialty medical treatment. When Leon disagrees, she contributes his anxiety to PTSD after nearly losing his life. Descending the stairs, Jennifer declares them “insane” before picking up the phone to call the police. Molotov bursts into the home, demanding answers. Leon immediately accepts the blame. Molotov forces him to his knees at gunpoint when an armed Touch knocks Molotov out cold. Cathy and Leon scold him for bailing out on them last night. Touch claims to have received a late call which they don’t buy.

With Molotov’s body in the van, Joe designates tasks to the others. Cathy later scolds and threatens Leon for accepting the blame for murdering Molotov’s friend. She lays a passionately sloppy kiss on him and the two are off. When Leon arrives at the peanut butter boutique, Apple (Bello Pizzimenti) is locking up. He convinces him to let them make a purchase. The shop has an extensive CCTV network.

Touch rolls a calm Molotov in bound and gagged to a hand truck. With his mouth free, Molotov finds laughter in their “scare tactics.” Joe agrees to free Molotov if he explains Teddy’s relationship with Nicolai. He isn’t happy with Molotov’s response – Teddy was a sissy.

Washington’s Residence – Angela finds Jennifer weeping over Dimitri’s photos. She is quick to remind her of the dangerous Dzhugashvlli family. Jennifer isn’t too sure Dimitri was dangerous because their 5-month relationship was real. She finds some relief in knowing he will have a decent funeral.

Hardware Store – Leon, Touch, and Joe are now terrorizing Molotov with dismemberment if he doesn’t chops Dimitri’s body into pieces. Still restrained, Molotov relents. When Touch cuts his hands free, Molotov snatches Leon’s pistol and grabs Joe from behind. He promises to leave when they hand over Dimitri’s body. Leon returns with the body. Laying the gun down, an irate Molotov accuses them of signing his death warrant when they killed Dimitri. He repeats the Dzugashvili Crime Family oath in his native tongue. Touch admits to believing the oath wasn’t real. Molotov assures him it is true but Nicolai permitted him to have a wife and child, even though it was risky. Feeling sentimental, they give him one call to his wife, Polina (Tatiana Piper), and daughter, Yulia (Alina Brace). During the call, Polina tries to convince him to go on the run but he refuses. Yulia sings him a song. After saying his goodbyes, it is unclear what the trio will do with Molotov.

In the next scene, Joe leaves in his van while Leon and Touch stay behind to dismember Dimitri’s body. Leon stresses the importance of chopping the body into tiny pieces for small animals to carry away into the woods. The task of undressing the body is delegated to Leon. Touch will handle the dismemberment. Leon faints the second the chainsaw touches the body.

In Town – Molotov tells Joe that his father, Teddy was a good person. He claims Teddy’s death was an accident. He grabs his gun before emerging from the van. The frantic crowd disperses as he takes his own life. Joe returns to the hardware store to discover Leon is struggling to dismember Dimitri’s body. Cathy and Touch are already into dissecting. They appear to be enjoying the gruesome task. Joe opts to join them with a knife and saw.

In The Woods – Leon disposes of the body parts smothered in peanut butter. Touch is shocked to see a wolf carry away the dismembered feet. Leon disposes of Georgi’s remains. With the gory task complete, Joe returns to Washington Towing. Cathy spruces up the area where the body was dismembered.

As the episode winds up, Cathy and Leon settle in at a swanky downtown hotel while Touch shoots drugs between his toes. Angela and Joe are at home. All is good until two golfers discover Georgi’s head in a sand trap.

 

Average Joe Review

I certainly did not think this series would grow on me. In just two episodes, I’ve become intrigued to see how the story will ultimately unfold. There is something about the show that makes it feel enigmatically dark. There is plenty of comedic relief in there and at times, some of it can be a bit raunchy, but there is no comparison to modern TV. I find a lot of this funny and really well done.

The bungling ineptitude is not so bad that it leaves viewers questioning how the characters could breathe without help, but it’s delivered in the perfect dosages. This episode easily deserves a 5.8, and I cannot wait for the next one.

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