Portrait of a Lady – The story begins as Helen Tudor-Fisk (Kitty Flanagan) visits the Vedette Legal Recruitment office. During a meeting with Annabelle (Libby Tanner), Helen goes on a tangent about her husband running off with an older woman. She ran away to Melbourne to escape the trauma. With no references, she appears desperate, agreeing to take any position. She denies being a people person or a dead people person. She constantly wears the same three suits to work. Annabelle’s assistant (Rhys Nicholson) interrupts the interview, nearly sitting on top of Helen before realizing it.

Fisk dressed in a bold yellow suit visits Gruber & Grubber Solicitors. George (Aaron Chen) likes Helen’s suit because it reminds him of “cheese.” Ray Gruber (Marty Sheargold) enters the room and says, “Strong choice” as she tears the price tag from the suit. He mistakes her name for “tuna fish.” She is stunned when he says, “I like your face”.  He believes her face says lots of experience, as he has been around the block and is a “workhorse.” Deceased family members prefer dealing with female instead of male solicitors. She is hired, but not without a few insults about her age.

She runs into the office manager, Roz Gruber (Julia Zemiro) as she is leaving the office. She asks Ray who is the “walking banana”. He tells her Helen will replace her while is suspended. She asks if she is afraid of being hit by a car. Helen is the daughter of a Supreme Court judge.

At home, Helen is eating cereal when the Airbnb property owner’s granddaughter, Juliana (Chi Nguyen) knocks on the door. Helen complains about Minh (Lien Yeomans) entering the property without authorization. She is constantly falling asleep on Helen’s bed, feeding her dog, cleaning, and preparing her meals. Minh believes Helen is a bad housekeeper. Instead of fixing the broken stove, Minh prepares Helen’s meals. She doesn’t want Helen to keep her shoes inside. Juliana is appalled by Helen when Minh tells her she doesn’t feed her dog.

Helen is having coffee in a local cafe, where a customer, Seb (Max Brown) is talking and laughing loudly on his phone. A female waitress (Zenya Carmellotti) insists she leaves the cafe due to her aggressive shouting. She loudly repeats Seb’s conversation before leaving.

At Gruber & Gruber George is continuously snapping her photo for the official website. She suggests a filter as Roz enters the room. They discuss Roz’s temporary suspension before being taken on a tour of the office. Roz monitors the restroom key to ensure everyone cleans up after themselves. Helen believes the toilet should be inspected after each use to avoid an innocent person getting blamed for someone else’s mess. She is researching cases when Roz brings in her first client, Ruth (Alison Whyte). She is not happy.

Ruth wants to discuss her mother’s will. Ruth will get half of the estate and her brother, Dean (Glenn Roberts) the other half on the condition he has a vasectomy. Helen says a will cannot contain conditions like a vasectomy. Ruth complains Dean has five children, all by different women. She describes the will as a “legally binding document” from the post office will kit.

Roz tells Ray, Helen was fired. He admits, then immediately denies knowing about Helen’s termination.

Ruth explains, “It is not about the money, it is about the principle”.  Roz orders Ray to supervise Helen. He complaints about a heavy lunch. They watch Helen and Ruth through a glass door. Helen asks if her brother is a professional sperm donor. He paints portraits with his penis at parties. He describes his job as “cock and canvas.” Helen refuses to take Helen’s case to court. Ruth demands she stop mumbling. She yells through a rolled paper, “Can you hear me know, you cannot force someone to have a vasectomy, it is against the law.”

Ray pulls Helen out of the meeting and takes her into his office. He asks if this is why she was fired. She denies attacking a client at her previous job in Sydney. But admits to calling her a “silly, old whore”. He is concerned about losing a client. Ruth agrees to return tomorrow because she believes, Helen took too many painkillers for a back injury.

Ray and Roz are having a private meeting about Helen’s termination. The client was having an affair with Helen’s husband. Ray suggests Roz mentor Helen.

She tries to return to the café but is immediately asked to leave by Seb who tells her he is the owner. She visits the Quick 7 across the street where she purchases two coffees. Roz suggests the café, where Helen is no longer permitted.

 

Roz mentors Helen on making a connection. She encourages her to bring God, the weather, and wardrobe into the conversations.

Ruth hesitantly arrives for her meeting with Helen. She shows Helen her choices. She divides a sausage roll in half to utilize as an example for her portion of the estate. If Ruth continues to spend money on litigation services, her portion of the estate will significantly decrease. Ruth freaks out when her mother’s funeral program is utilized to display the greasy sausage rolls. In turn, she utilizes the sausage roll to replicate Dean’s penis. She slices it in half. Helen shows her how legal fees will eat up her money by eating the sausage rolls. She is persistent about explaining her case to the jury. Helen says there will be no jury. Helen suggests she get a lawyer from Law & Order as Ruth walks out of the meeting. George asks for a few bites of the legal fees (sausage rolls).

Helen tells Roz everything went well when she spots Helen’s mother’s funeral program on the table. She follows her to the café, where Seb is refusing to scold her milk. Ruth says, “My lawyer.” Helen says, “Now, I’m your lawyer.” She sympathizes with Ruth, and they go over to the Quick 7 for coffee. They set on two milk crates drinking coffee. Helen wants to know how Dean does his paintings. She is watching a video of Dean at work when the clerk, Michael (Rohan Ganju) warns them about watching porn in the store. Helen describes the coffee as “delicious” and asks Michael to bring them more. They have a laugh when he refuses to bring them their coffee.

Back at Gruber & Gruber, Helen signs the probate papers. Ray congratulates her for skipping court. George shows her the finished version of her photograph. She describes the image as “uncanny.”

Helen arrives home to find Dean in her kitchen eating Minh’s food. He calms her down by introducing himself. Someone at Gruber & Gruber gave Dean her address. He offers her a demonstration. She refuses at first and eventually relents.

At the office, Ray arrives with a cup of Quick 7 coffee. She gives him the picture dean painted with his penis. He is inspecting it when Roz arrives and says, “Perhaps I should get my done.”

Roz sits for a painting. She jokes about Dean rinsing his penis in turpentine. They continue to make jokes as the episode comes to an end.

 

Fisk Review                                                                                                                                

The story moves along at a very quick pace, making it difficult to keep up. 30 minutes of constant insults, jerky camera work, and repetitive, cheesy dialogue are what you get. While I found myself laughing at times, the dialogue is a hit and miss. The show has a stand-up comedy feel, which I am not a fan of on-screen. Could have been good if the pace was slowed and more effort invested in the jokes. The episode deserves a 5.5.

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