WHZDARE – Episode 4 starts with John Doe (Anthony Mackie) nodding in and out at the wheel. Quiet (Stephanie Beatriz), although much more talkative now goads the man for not pulling over. John chooses to point out that Quiet’s silence isn’t helping matters. Collecting himself, he attempts to goad her in a knock-knock joke, which turns outs terribly. Quiet doesn’t understand the concept at all. Their back-and-forth is soon interrupted when John makes one last knock-knock attempt and learns that there is an actual sound coming from behind them. Activating what he refers to as stealth mode, John soon realizes that their pursers are also in stealth mode. With lights activated, John and Quiet not only have one semi bearing down on them at breakneck speed but they are enclosed in fast and furious style. The leading semi drops its trailer and Evelyn, back at factory settings, is forced into the rear by the trailing semi.
The Rear Of The Semi – Stashed in the rear of the semi similar to that of precious cargo, John and Quiet are soon approached and addressed by a lone southern female voice. After a short introduction, the dark area is brought to life with glaring light and Miranda Watts (Jamie Neumann) introduces herself, with promises of only wanting to flap lips. Drawing Quiet and John out for further introductions, Watts offers a more formal introduction while admiring Evelyn. John is equally appreciative of the nearby rockets. Things get serious when Watts apologizes for the way they grabbed them and orders someone on her talkie to lock it up. As the semis align to the same speeds, walls, side doors, and catwalks are constructed in a transformer-type transformation. It isn’t Watts that wanted to discuss business with the two when the milkman tag was recognized on Evelyn’s backside.
Convoy – Watts is soon welcoming them to what she refers to as convoy and John can’t help but be even more impressed with the unique street market feel. As they survey wares of all sorts from various vendors, Watts goes on to further explain how their setup works. With 30 semis comprising their entire crew, they never stop. Not even to fuel. On top of that, the crew wastes as little as possible. Their human waste being converted to fuel is a huge part of how they remain mobile and fuel their trucks at the same time. Going off Watts, Quiet is left to her own devices when she comes across a female vendor with a unique collection of mechanical limbs. Tinker (Angel Giuffrria), missing a left arm at the elbow herself, spots Quiet’s missing middle finger and begins guessing at an explanation.
Quiet doesn’t offer a response, which tells Tinker that the real cause was much worse than her guesses of an angle sheer and metal grinder. Tinker is not only inquisitive, but she’s giving when she gifts her new acquaintance a robotic middle finger that is best kept away from water. Tinker doesn’t expect compensation, only wants to help the new lady shine a bit more. Checking out a gun booth as another section of the wall opens, John lets Quiet know they are about to have an audience. Watts wheels out a decrepit, arthritic old woman that she refers to as Granny (Peg O’Keef). Nearly blind and deaf, Watts has to remind her that she’s brought her to see the milkman. Granny Dread would get up to shake their hands, but her away sticks just aren’t what they used to be.
Bending down to greet her at eye level, John points out to Granny that her oxygen lines aren’t connected. The jig is up and Granny gives up playing the defenseless little old lady. Despite the ruse, Granny is still ancient old and her insides look even worse than her outsides. She needs the milkman to make a run for medicine. Once again, showing his perceptive side, John points out that the lady virtually has her pick of drivers, why ask him? She chalks it up to not being able to afford to lose them, seeing that the last milkman never came back. It isn’t just the vultures they have to worry about these days. Everything from holy men to law enforcement types can deter a run. After a bit of negotiating, Granny makes the trips worth John’s while by offering to refit Evelyn with weapons. John even manages to squeeze one of the aforementioned rockets out of the deal.
On The Road – Granny’s directions to the pharmacist aren’t so straightforward and John is new territory. The inverted crucified female suspended for the roadside cross tells him as much. Recognizing the connection and noticing the got milk decal covering the victim’s mouth, John contributes the scene to the holy men. He then launches into a tirade about the various terrible deaths he’s heard milkmen have suffered. For him, the worst was without a doubt the milkman that was affixed to an anthill while the little creatures ate his body from the inside out. Betrayed by your own butthole is how he poetically puts it. This realization leads Quiet to point out that milkmen don’t retire at an old age. Their conversation about that is soon interrupted by the ringing of bells, and that only means they need to get out of the area faster. Putting the pedal to the metal, it’s only a few minutes later and the two are pulling up to a quaint white and green clapboard home with a rustic VW bug in the driveway.
The Pharmacist –John takes the lead and knocks on the door, yelling to reinforce his presence. The two are soon startled when Amber (Diany Rodriguez) appears from around the corner with a tray, glasses, and a picture of delectable iced tea. Amber reveals the concoction to be some fresh herbal mixture that she picked fresh today. Either way, Quiet doesn’t waste a second digging in. John follows as she guzzles hers down in a second. A mistake on both their parts because they are just as quickly retching it back up. Although they are now sitting up, they find themselves restrained to the porch and not in much better condition. Amber seems to have some preconceived notion that the two are holy men and killed the convoy’s last milkman. Using gardening gloves and sheers, Amber uses a unique interrogation technique to question them. Cutting a few leaves from a nearby plant and touching them to John’s forearm is like a jolt of electricity.
With a strained effort, the two finally convince Amber that they are who they claim to be. It’s the revelation of Granny’s illness and her handwritten directions that do the trick. While standing by while Amber prepares Granny’s medicine, John can’t help but ask if it’s true that Watts threw her from a moving vehicle. It was true, but it was only because she was already poisoned. Either way, like the complex root systems of plants, Amber needed room to grow. The Convoy couldn’t provide the room and Amber was forced to leave. Taking the medicine and leaving, the two are hit with the stark realization of ringing bells again. Quiet claims they can take them, but John only debates it for a few seconds before pushing the pedal to the metal again.
An Abandoned Cinema – John and Quiet are followed by the holy men for the next 50 miles and inch closer every second. When they nearly close the gap, John chooses to get off the road and seeks solace in what appears to be an abandoned cinema. With Evelyn undercover, John appears to have made the right call as they watch the convoy of holy men pass by from the shuttered front entrance of the abandoned cinema. They are, however, startled when a motion-activated cardboard cutout of the Master of Disguises sparks to life. Although the place smells like popcorn and butt, John is willing to deal. As Quiet extracts her weapon from Dana Carvey’s cardboard head, she wonders if she is the butt. The dup is soon in one of the cinemas and taking advantage of the lush recliners. Before Quiet knows it, John is up in the projection room introducing her to what he refers to as a classic.
Although the picture doesn’t offer any sound, John does an amendable play-by-play of one of the 90s most recognized caped crusaders, Blankman. Grabbing a large bucket of popcorn, Quiet even gets in on the action and offers a voiceover for the alluring, Kimberly Jonz. The nostalgia even inspires Quiet to share a childhood memory from when her brother, Loud (Richard Cabral) snuck them into a theater. The inroads they form are soon collapsed the next morning when taking advantage of the running water, John makes the mistake of cleaning Loud’s jacket. Now, she has nothing left to remind her of Loud.
The Convoy – Returning to the Convoy with medicine in hand, John and Quiet are not shocked to learn that Watts suspected Amber would poison them. They are, however, shocked when they learn that what they’ve returned with is to make Granny more comfortable as he passes on. Sitting in a convertible Beamer and forcing down the death concoction, Granny shares some elderly advice with Quiet and John. They are still shocked by the revelation that they played such a big hand in the demise of this lady. Quiet accuses the lady of giving up while the elderly lady reminds her that modern people so rarely get the opportunity to decide how they want to go out. If it isn’t a car wreck that gets you, it’ll be gunfire. There was even one unlucky son of a gun who got swallowed by ants. There is no substitute for getting to say goodbye to the people you love. With her pug in the passenger seat, the old lady orders them out before beckoning Watts. The reins are being passed down to Watts.
After Granny’s passing, Watts gives a touching eulogy atop the convertible while also revealing a bit about Granny’s past life as a top-selling realtor. After a sentimental send-off, the rear cargo hold of the semi is opened and the car is pushed outside where it is remotely blown sky-high. Drunken debauchery proceeds and John can’t help but get in on the action. While the party rages, Watts wraps up the customizations on Evelyn. Feeling sentimental, Watts uncovers another nearby vehicle that’s revealed to be a Formula 1-type slot car. Getting in the driver’s seat, she uses the CB radio to contact Amber. Their conversation reveals that their fight wasn’t a typical misunderstanding of information. It was a lover’s quarrel.
Speaking of lover’s quarrels, John gives mending fences with Quiet one more go by delivering her a Tang & vodka. He apologizes about the jacket and she accepts it. The two debate over their offers to stay with the convoy, although it is only John that explains the real reason behind his decision. If he stayed, he would still be a milkman, and he wants to leave that life behind. Back on the road, the duo resumes their typical bickering, but at least now, Quiet is willing to respond to his knock-knock jokes.
Twisted Metal Review
I can’t help but give this episode a solid 6. Although many would chalk the episode up to fluff or filler, it was incredibly enjoyable for me. Yes, it was needless and didn’t offer much to the main story, but it felt incredibly fulfilling. There honestly wasn’t a character that I found unlikeable. The unique way Amber interrogated the intrepid wasteland heroes was clever, Evelyn’s new armaments are more advanced, John and Quiet’s relationship played the roller coaster roll, and the pall of a mysterious new formidable enemy hang in the balance. Once again, I can’t wait to see where the next episode goes and that says a lot.
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