Exile – As the opening episode of Sirens begins, Michaela Kell (Julianne Moore) tells Barnaby it’s time to go. She urges the bird to fly free and it does. Devon DeWitt (Meghann Fahy) walks out of the police station and sits down outside. She tries to call Simone DeWitt (Milly Alcock) who doesn’t answer. Devon sends Simone messages saying “Sirens” over and over. She arrives home and carries in an edible arrangement. Devon goes inside where she tells her dad, Bruce DeWitt (Bill Camp), that her car is impounded. A note on the edible arrangement confirms it is from Simone. Devon thinks Simone is self-centered and a gutter rate ho. Devon gets upset and leaves with the edible arrangement. On the bus, she looks at Simone’s social media photos. Simone receives all of the messages. Ethan Corbin (Glenn Howerton) is still asleep. She tells him she has to go. Ethan thinks she should tell Michaela that they’re dating. Simone says Michaela is her boss and told her she couldn’t date anyone there.
Their summer fling is about to end anyway. Ethan doesn’t want to believe that their relationship is over. Devon rides on a boat and asks if another passenger has a problem. She’s told she can’t smoke on board or she’ll be fined. She takes the man somewhere private and services him. Once Simone reaches the house, she’s told they have one minute before Michaela arrives. Simone rushes to make sure everything is perfect before Michaela arrives. Michaela tells her about setting Barnaby free. Patrice (Lauren Weedman) tries to give Michaela her smoothie, but Michaela doesn’t want it today. Peter Kell (Kevin Bacon) has been delayed. Peter also gave Liam the weekend off. Michaela wants to sext Peter to let him know she’s looking forward to some husband and wife time tonight. They discuss all the stuff they have to do when they get back. The headcount for the event will be 110. John Legend agreed to do a short set for such a good cause.
Michaela tells Simone that she’s irreplaceable. Devon continues her journey with her edible arrangement. She tries to find out more about Cliff House. A driver tells her how to get there. Michaela speaks to Joel (Jason Dietz) about her birds. They track Barnaby’s journey. Joel said it was too soon, but Michaela knew he would be okay. She says they’re not most rescue organizations. There’s another new visitor. Michaela immediately calls him Winston. As Simone gets dressed, Devon gets closer to Cliff House. Simone tells Jose (Felix Solis) to stop talking about her. He claims not to know anything about a group text chain. Simone complains about the color of the flowers. He uses a loudspeaker to try to get everything back on track. Missy (Britne Oldford) tells Simone there’s a transient looking for her. Simone learns that it’s her sister. Devon scolds her when she sees her. The guests begin arriving so Simone tries to maintain order. She tells Devon she’s working.
Devon questions who she is. She learns that Simone removed their matching sister tattoos. Devon also believes she got a nose job. Simone tells her she has to go. Simone decides to hide Devon in the guesthouse until this is over. Simone explains that the property is owned by Peter Kell of Kell Securities. The famous hedge fund is worth billions. Simone puts her in the guesthouse and tells her not to touch anything. She promises to come back when she’s done working. Devon reveals she’s sober and has been trying to be sober for the past six months. She says their dad’s memory is getting ready bad and he keeps asking where mom is. Michaela finds them arguing about caring for their father. Simone explains that Devon is her sister. Devon says she wants to know the next time her sister goes under anesthesia. Simone can’t believe they’re meeting right now. Michaela immediately speaks highly of Simone. Devon says she can’t be friends with people who pay her.
Michaela insists they’re happy to have Devon who is rude every step of the way. When they’re alone, Michaela asks how she doesn’t know Simone had a sister. Simone says she just shows up periodically to smear her hot mess disaster sauce all over her. She thinks Devon just wants to make her feel guilty for leaving Buffalo. After checking their breath, they go to the party. Michaela tells the girls they should go and save some wildlife. Devon hangs out alone in the guesthouse. She gets in touch with Raymond (Josh Segarra) who reminds her that she’s late for her shift. Devon admits she won’t make it in. She wants Ray to go to her house and check on her father. Devon threatens to call his wife to make him cooperate. She finds herself locked in the guesthouse. Once she gets the door unlocked, she’s told there’s a no-smoking police on the grounds. She walks away from the property to smoke until Jose scares her.
He tells her there’s no smoking on the property. Devon asks him to overlook it. Once she agrees she doesn’t like the Chiefs, he shows her where to smoke with the workers. Missy says carbs aren’t allowed on the property ahead of Gala Monday. The whole staff is on NDAs so they cannot talk about Michaela. Missy warns Devon to be careful there. Michaela is worried because Peter saw the sext, but he hasn’t replied to it at all. Simone suggests he’s just lost signal. Ethan sees Devon outside. He throws his keys at her thinking she’s the valet. She tells him that she’s visiting her sister, Simone. Devon says she grew up in Buffalo while Simone was in and out of foster care. Devon eventually got custody of her. Ethan introduces himself and says he lives nearby. Devon hasn’t heard of him. They head inside together. Simone sees them and approaches them. When Ethan leaves to get drinks, Devon says she doesn’t like him or being there.
Simone pleads with Devon to back to the house. She says everyone is noticing her. Devon promises to be cool. Ethan talks to Simone about being from Buffalo. She claims no one knows where Buffalo is so it’s easier to say upstate. Ethan says he’s sorry that she went through tough times and foster care. Before long, Devon starts believing that Devon is in a cult. Simone complains about her telling Ethan that she was in foster care. Simone confesses that Ethan is her boyfriend. Devon eventually gets upset and reminds Simone that she’s just the help. Simone tells her not to move. Michaela invites Devon to take a walk with her. They check out the view. Michaela says she can sometimes hear the whales. Simone brings something for Devon. Michaela wants to give her $10,000. Devon asks why. She doesn’t want her money. Devon says she came there because she wants her sister’s help. Michaela asks Jose to take Devon to the Whaler Inn.
Devon asks if she can speak to Simone in private. Michaela thinks it’s best if she just goes. Jose takes her away. Jose offers to drive her to the lighthouse. Devon says no thanks. Jose is shocked that she got $10,000. He says the Whaler Inn is nice too. He asks her to sign an NDA, but Devon doesn’t want to do that. Once they arrive, Jose tells her that the car service will be there at 8 a.m. to take her to the airport. Devon begins licking his neck. She says it’s a thing she does. Devon goes into the motel. She gets a call from Bruce who thinks someone is breaking in. Devon tells him that it’s her friend Ray. She tells her dad that she’ll be home tomorrow. Bruce learns she’s with Simone. Devon says she’s doing great and she was excited to see. Devon buys a dress and meets a man at the bar. She asks if they can go or if he needs some small talk. The man wants some small talk. Devon lies about herself. Jordan (Trevor Salter) introduces himself.
Michaela messages Peter again, but he still hasn’t responded to her first message. Devon has sex with the stranger. Simone has sex with Ethan. Devon believes Jordan has her sister’s shirt. Jordan is surprised that Simone is her sister. He says Simone is dating his boss, Ethan, and this is his boat. He’s the captain. They both admit they’ve been lying to each other. Simone tells Ethan she has to go. Peter’s flight keeps getting delayed and Kiki is restless. Ethan insists he’s in love with her. He wants to know everything about her. She doesn’t want to talk about it. Ethan asks why she was in foster care. Simone tells him she loves him too. Devon asks Morgan about the cliff house. She thinks it’s a cult. Morgan reveals that they call Simone Mini Michaela. Devon says she’s the only one who knows that Simone is a traumatized little girl trying to outrun her past. Devon says something doesn’t feel right about leaving her sister up there.
Michaela gets out of bed when she hears a noise. A bird hits and breaks her window. When she gets up and approaches the window, there’s another crash and another. Barnaby flees through the window. Devon uses a telescope to see Michaela holding Barnaby.
Sirens Review
The opening episode of Sirens really leaves a lot to be desired. The series is too much like everything else without even a tinge of humor. It’s more rich folks dealing with rich folk problems. It’s also the same trope of one sister doing well and the other being lackadaisical. The level of humor is pretty much just random hookups and one sister licking people for whatever reason.
Some of the relationships are borderline gross, especially that of Ethan and Simone. There are so many shows like this that just encourage promiscuity and try to pass it off as being humorous. Who are we supposed to cheer for here? Maybe the birds? Devon is absolutely idiotic to the point of being unlikable.
She’s even more unlikable than her sister and Michaela. There is nothing of value in this series. The performances are just okay, the characters are horrible, and the humor is nonexistent. The only plus here is that this is five episodes and will be over before you know it.
Even then, it probably won’t be worth the five hours. The episode scores a 4 out of 10. Recaps of Sirens can be found here. Find out how to support our independent site at this link. Learn more about advertising with us here. Join the discussion at the forum.
Jay Skelton is a fan of all television shows and movies. He tries his best to keep up with the latest foreign television shows and movies. Jay loves skinny dipping in the dark too.