The Art of F**kery – The show begins with narrator, Izzy Hands (Con O’Neill) explaining how long it had been since he and Blackbeard “Edward” (Taika Waititi) boarded The Revenge. He admits to believing Blackbeard has changed his mind about killing Captain Stede Bonnet (Rhys Darby). He believes Stede had seduced Blackbeard in some way. Stede and Blackbeard can be seen fencing on the screen. Stede suggests they call the match a draw, but Blackbeard thinks otherwise. Blackbeard pays him a compliment for his improved fencing skills. Stede agrees since he hasn’t cut himself in a while. Wanting to take the training to the next level, he orders Stede to stab him.
When Stede refuses to heed the order, Blackbeard threatens to “shoot him in the face.” With his gun drawn, Blackbeard starts counting. Horrified, Stede runs his sword into his stomach. Laughing, Blackbeard assures him that none of his vital organs were harmed. He explains how to skip the vital organs by directing the sword to the left. Stede reminds him of his liver. Smirking, Blackbeard says there is no telling what the liver does. Stede asks how to get the sword out of his stomach. They both screech while gently pulling on the sword. Listening to their screeches, Izzy Hands repeatedly says, “Oh, my God.”
Stede tells his crew a story about a man with a hook for a head. Frenchie (Joel Fry) questions how he eats. Stede says he has no reason to eat because his head is a hook. Wee John Feeney (Kristian Nairn) asks the others if what he is saying makes sense. Roach (Samba Schutte) asks how the man kisses. Stede says his unattractive, so no one likes him. Wee John tells him that his story isn’t scary in the least. Black Pete (Matthew Maher) assumes Blackbeard knows a story that is scary. The crowd says, “Ooh” in unison. Black Pete asks Blackbeard about the scariest thing he ever witnessed. Denying feeling terror, he says, “The Kraken.” The Swede (Nat Faxon) reminds him that the Kraken isn’t real. Blackbeard says he used to think the same thing.
Fang (David Fane) agrees with Izzy Hands about Blackbeard no longer plans to kill Stede. Izzy Hands assures him that the plan is still active. Ivan (Guz Khan) points out that he has never seen Blackbeard so available and open.
Blackbeard tells The Revenge crew about his meeting with the Kraken. In a flashback, a drunk man was passing the old stone wall when lightning lit up the sky. Young Edward Teach (Mateo Gallego) noticed movement in the water. A grotesque creature gradually rises out of the water right before Young Edward’s eyes. The creature wraps its tentacle around the drunk man. Back to the present, Blackbeard admits the drunk man was his father. He describes his father as being a “dick.” He gives them a pointer, “Turn your enemy’s worst fear against them, you’ll own them.” Stede says he has made the same statement before. His crew disagrees. Someone suggests he said it when no one else was around.
Stede asks Blackbeard how he suggests tapping into a foe’s fear. Blackbeard questions if he really wants to know the answer. Stede and his crew acknowledge that they are interested in knowing.
Stede is asleep when Buttons (Ewen Bremner) burst through the door. Buttons warns him of something eerie is about. When Stede questions what he is rambling on about, Buttons disappears as fast as he appears. Stede rushes to the deck to see The Revenge surrounded by dense fog. Buttons says it is the strangest fog that he has ever seen. Stede asks where Blackbeard is at. He yells at them from his location. When Lucius (Nathan Foad) points in Blackbeard’s direction, Buttons bites his finger. Shocked, Lucius says he bit him. Buttons claims he mistakenly thought he was a demon.
Blackbeard continuously changes locations as The Revenge crew and Stede watch in horror. He appears to be floating toward them. The Swede is so terrified that he jumps into the ocean. Blackbeard yells, “We’ve got a man overboard” as he dangles from a rope. Amazed, Stede describes it as an “illusion.” Blackbeard says it is “The Art of Fu**ery.” Buttons apologies to Lucius for biting him. Lucius asks why there is a splinter in his finger. He contributes it to his “summer teef.” Jerking a tooth out of his mouth, he says not all of them are real.
Approaching Blackbeard as he dangles from a rope, Izzy Hands asks if they can speak alone. Addressing him as Edward, Stede describes his performance as “theater.” Izzy Hands scolds him for calling him by his real name. He haphazardly tries to help Blackbeard down until he gets frustrated and leaves him suspended in the air.
Blackbeard scolds Izzy Hands for leaving him suspended from a rope for 20 minutes. Izzy Hands reminds him of his rules about not having pets on his ship. Fang accuses him of forcing him to euthanize his dog. They all suggest he end his pet dog, Stede quickly. Ivan comforts Fang when he breaks down crying about his dead dog. When Ivan assures him that the dog is in heaven, Fang says he will go to another heaven, not doggy heave . Izzy Hands follows Blackbeard to the top deck. He offers to take care of Stede for him. He refuses his offer, saying he will clean up his own mess. Stede approaches to alert him of Buttons’ prediction. He informs him that tomorrow night The Revenge will encounter a Dutch merchant ship. He suggests they put the Dutch through some “fu**ery.”
Blackbeard tells him successful “fu**ery” takes years to perfect. Izzy Hands sarcastically says, “Captain Bonnet’s theatrical instincts are finely honed.” Stede apologizes to Izzy Hands for misjudging him while happily suggesting to Blackbeard that they do it. He alerts Buttons and Lucius of their fu**ery plans. Whispering, Izzy Hands recommends Blackbeard finish Stede.
Stede asks The Swede tells him a story. He says the rain is the color of blood. Stede tells him it is boring before choosing Buttons to give it a try. He admits to having a desire to have sex with the sea. Interrupting, Stede scolds him for getting too personal. He doesn’t give Black Pete enough time to speak before Stede calls all their stories “boring.” Jim/Bonifacia recommends a story about guts. Buttons tells them about his personal account of watching a man eat another man’s face. Stede says he is looking for a psychological story, not a cheap story. Roach claims to smell something rotten. When Lucius holds out his inflamed finger, Wee John gags. Lucius falls onto his face as Stede ends the disastrous rehearsal.
Fang and Black Pete hold Lucius down while Roach sharpens his meat cleaver. Fang asks if he is a doctor, not a cook. Roach reminds him that meat is meat, and a knife is a knife. As he prepares to amputate Lucius’ decaying finger, Fang pleads with him to not do it because he is a “visual artist.” Grabbing him by the shirt, Black Pete demands to do if amputation is the only option. With his cleaver ready to go, Lucius comes through. His missed swing sends Lucius running for his life, followed by Fang.
Izzy Hands approaches to harass Stede who demands he leave because the “fu**ery has been canceled. Reminding him of how much trouble he went through to set it up, Izzy Hands refuses to let him cancel. Stede why he agreed to do it. He admits to being confused by Blackbeard’s adoration for him. Before leaving, he suggests that Stede’s performance be like his last.
Stede apologizes to his crew for his bad behavior. They inform him that they have the “fu**ery” performance already figured out. They assure him that it is scary, and The Swede will sing a song. Frenchie says they need to work on the finale.
Frenchie alerts Blackbeard who is playing the knife game that the Dutch Merchant ship is approaching.
The Dutch Captain (Pete Gardner) sees The Revenge through his navigation telescope. He tells a Dutch Sailor (Noah James Butler) that the ship appears to be abandoned.
Aboard The Revenge, the captain asks if anyone is there. Stede assures him that the ship is occupied with spirits of hades. Frenchie tells him that he is a witch, with a cat (Wee John). Frightened, the Dutch officers try to scurry away. Stede alerts Blackbeard that they pulled off the opening brilliantly. As the Dutch officers run in their direction, Blackbeard pulls out his dagger. Wee John terrorizes the men. Stede asks Blackbeard if it is scary. He agrees with him while preparing to utilize his dagger. A silhouette of someone holding up what looks like an intestine and someone lying on a table pops up on the screen. Blackbeard starts to switch his dagger when Lucius busts through the door to inform everyone that his finger was amputated. Chopping off his finger, he falls face-first on the floor.
The Dutch officers begin to gag. Gradually dropping his dagger, Blackbeard asks Stede how they pulled it off. Stede says he isn’t for sure. The Swede begins to sing while Blackbeard watches behind a curtain. A Dutch officer draws his sword as Stede claims the spirit is the Kraken. Concerned, Blackbeard has a flashback of the Kraken grabbing his drunk father. As he falls to the floor in distress, the officers become frightened by the sight of him. Panting, he crawls on the floor while the Dutch officers scurry away. The crew congratulates Wee John as he chases after the officers as they exit the ship.
Stede checks on Blackbeard who is laying in a bathtub. In a flashback – Young Edward watches his father verbally assault Mother Teach (Simon Kessell). He demands to know why she prepares the same meal over and over again. He slaps her across the face when she tells him that they can’t afford anything else. Back to the present, a concerned Stede bursts through the bathroom door. Blackbeard confesses that he killed his father, not the Kraken. He admits his father was the last man to die at his hands. Stede reminds him that he injured people. He assures him that maiming and killing are two different things. He informs Stede that he was going to steal his identity by burning his face. Shocked Stede asks if that is still part of the plan. Blackbeard shakes his head no. He exhales with relief. Blackbeard assures him that doggy heaven is not where he belongs.
Stede asks him if the term “doggy heave” is utilized by pirates. Weeping, Blackbeard says he is friendless because of his being a bad person. Stede assures him that he is his friend. They agree to forget about the murder thingy.
Stede congratulates his crew. Roach asks Blackbeard how he feels about their performance. He tells them that it was “wonderful fu**ery” that was frightening. He compliments The Swede on his amazing voice. Stunned, The Swede questions if he is teasing. Stede assures him that he is genuine. When he asks about Lucius, Fang tells him to quieten down because he is sleeping. Izzy Hands challenges Stede to a duel. Blackbeard tells him it is off. Stede readily accepts the challenge. As they duel, Oluwande (Samson Kayo) encourages Stede to stab Izzy Hands. Seconds later, Izzy Hands knocks his sword out of his hand. Refusing his draw offer, he stabs Stede in the stomach. Stede asks Blackbeard if he did it correctly to protect his vital organs.
As Izzy Hands drives his sword in deeper, Stede tells him about the mast being constructed from the finest Brazilian cherry. Irate, Izzy Hands orders him to shut up. Blackbeard stares in horror. Buttons cracks up laughing when the handle breaks off his sword. Telling him that his sword is no longer operable, Buttons hands the win to Stede. Izzy Hands looks at Blackbeard for help to no avail. Stede guzzles down some alcohol while the sword is still stuck through his stomach.
Izzy Hands asks Blackbeard if this is the end while he stands is a lifeboat. Roach tosses him a sandwich, which hits him in the head. As Blackbeard is satisfied, Roach tells Ivan that Izzy Hands is a “dick.”
Lucius hands Fang his finger. Fang gives a brief ceremony before tossing it in the ocean. Stede who still has the sword in his stomach suggests a different type of celebration. Black Pete admits to Lucius that he was worried about losing him. He opens a box, exposing a handmade finger made specifically for Lucius. When he assures him that it isn’t necessary for him to wear, Lucius kisses him on the lips. Stede tells Lucius that he wants to get the sword out. He promises to find someone for him.
Izzy Hands struggles to row the tiny lifeboat through the sea waters.
Spanish Jackie (Leslie Jones) is having a drink when Geraldo (Fred Armisen) asks if they should start serving food for more revenue. She orders him to shut up before going on a rant about her many responsibilities. Izzy Hands assures her that Geraldo’s idea is a lucrative one. She orders Geraldo to get him a drink as the episode comes to an end.
Our Flag Means Death Review
Another great episode from The Revenge crew. The show never fails to keep me entertained. The crew’s well-thought-out antics are always successful. How? Well, that is a question for another day.
Rhys Darby is a mess, as well as his crew of misfits. While every member of the crew plays a role in making the show interesting, some more than others. Nathan Foad, Matthew Maher, Ewen Bremner, Kristian Nairn, Joel Fry, and Samba Schutte are ridiculously brilliant at what they do.
The dialogue is creative and hilarious. Kudos to David Jenkins for this superb comedy that keeps us laughing from start to finish and everywhere in between.
The episode deserves a 6. Get more Our Flag Means Death recaps here. Support Reel Mockery by clicking on the link to learn more.
Jay Skelton is a fan of all television shows and movies. He tries his best to keep up with the latest foreign television shows and movies. Jay loves skinny dipping in the dark too.
