A Gentleman Pirate – The show begins with Izzy Hands (Con O’Neill) looking at The Revenge through a spyglass. He informs the captain of the distance between their ship and the Revenge. The captain tells him a few hundred yards isn’t bad. Izzy Hands tells him Captain Stede Bonnet (Rhys Darby) is not worth the effort. The captain describes Stede as a “fancy man,” with a fancy ship. He asks if Stede’s crew is a bunch of imbeciles. Izzy Hands reluctantly agrees. The captain reminds him of Stede beating him at swordplay. Izzy Hands describes it as a “trick” and “ambush.” He asks what’s his plan. Refusing his offer to open fire on The Revenge, he suggests they invite Stede and his crew aboard their ship.
Blackbeard (Taika Waititi) orders him to handle it personally. Izzy Hands calls Stede a few choice words while he walks away.
Stede reads off three names – Captain Kidd, Blackbeard, the Gentleman Pirate – to Frenchie (Joel Fry). He asks what the names represent to him. Frenchie says Blackbeard and Captain Kidd are skilled pirates but hasn’t a clue who’s the Gentleman Pirate. Stede describes Gentleman Pirate as the most frightening of the three men. He says his weapon of choice is kindness. Frenchie asks if he is the Gentleman Pirate. He chooses the pirate brand, “Polite Menace.” Frenchie reminds Stede of what he said about not being the best writer. His documentation is child-like drawings. Stede is surprised to see his drawings, instead of writing. He agrees to let him continue documenting until Lucius (Nathan Foad) is located.
Frenchie asks Stede about his plans for their last hostage. Stede appears to have forgotten about their hostage. Frenchie informs him that the hostage who he deemed a “pirate pooper” is bringing down the crew.
Stede is shocked by the foul odor emitting from their hostage. Black Pete (Matthew Maher) is satisfied the sun did a great job baking the hostage. Buttons (Ewen Bremner) points out some crispy bits on the hostage’s face. Stede suggests they give the hostage water and a shade. When he removes his gag, the hostage says, “Cheers.” Buttons sprays some water on his face. He asks his crew if they have any suggestions for the hostage. Frenchie asks if murder is an option. Stede assures them killing the hostage is not something a gentleman would do. Black Pete admits his idea is to kill the hostage. Roach recommends removing all four limbs and utilizing his back as a table. Roach (Samba Schutte) wants to trade him to the English for random. Stede likes his idea.
Buttons says they should head to the Republic of Pirates to find a fence, where plunderers rule. Stede recommends they visit the isle, but Oluwande Boodhari (Samson Kay) disagrees because it is now filled with tourists. When he asks Jim/Bonifacia (Vico Ortiz) to confirm his comment, Jim shakes his head. Stede has made up his mind to visit the Republic of Pirate, so the people can finally meet the Gentleman Pirate.
Oluwande warns Bonifacia about returning to the Republic of Pirate. He reminds her of Spanish Jackie who has a reward out for her head. Bonifacia asks if he is referring to her murdering Spanish Jackie’s husband. Oluwande acknowledges that is exactly what he is talking about. Bonifacia blows off his concern before reminding him of Spanish Jackie having 20 husbands, minus one. Oluwande tells her that Spanish Jackie will see right through the disguise, which didn’t even fool Lucius. She explains how that was different because Lucius caught her off-guard. Lucius bangs on the chest and promises to keep her secret. She suggests he not be so nosy in his next life before pleading with Oluwande to assist her in throwing him overboard.
When he refuses to help, she pops open the chest. Lucius takes a huge gasp of air. He congratulates them for making the right decision. Immediately changing her mind, she orders him to get back inside the chest. As they bicker back and forth, Stede opens the door to ask if they have seen Lucius. He demands to know why he is sweating so profusely. Lucius slowly explains how they were exercising to shrink their bodies. Stede demands he assist him in getting ready for “the big day.
They arrive at the Republic of Pirates, where a brawl is ongoing. Stede calls the place a “hellish cesspool” while Lucius questions if their uniform is appropriate. Stede tells him the idea is to make the people feel “underdressed,” so they can take charge. A man wipes his bloody hands down Lucius’ jacket as he slides to the ground. Stede scolds him for not trying to sidestep before ordering him to remove the bloody jacket. While Stede advertises himself for sale, Frenchie, Roach, and Black Pete make their exit. Lucius warns Stede that the people may be confused about what he is trying to sell. Stede assures him that salesman skills are better than his pirating.
Bonifacia finds her wanted poster on a coffin lid. 50 Doubloons are being offered for her head. Oluwande reminds her of what he said about Spanish Jackie being angry. She is not happy that her reward is only 50 doubloons. She figures the death of Spanish Jackie’s husband should be valued at least 1,000 doubloons.
Stede continues to advertise his booty for sale. Wagering a piece of silver, Creepy Pirate (Christopher Corbin) asks if he gets all their booties. Stede assures him the advertisement is for only one booty. The Creepy Pirate asks if the other two pirates will watch. Whispering, Lucius tells Stede the Creepy Pirate has mistaken him for a prostitute. Stede tells him that he is not a prostitute. Disappointed, the Creepy Pirate says it could have been magical before walking away.
Jim and Oluwande encounter Lucius and Stede in front of Spanish Jackie’s. Oluwande tries convincing Stede to not enter the pub as Jim slips away. Describing the pub as “scary,” Stede suggests Lucius accompany him inside, but Lucius has a better plan, return to the ship. Stede tells Lucius to sketch him and Officer Hornsberry (Connor Barrett) in front of the pub. When he orders Hornsberry to look tortured, a big smile comes to his face. Upon entering Spanish Jackie’s, Lucius reluctantly introduces Stede as the Gentleman Pirate. Stede gives a speech about being gentry before buying all the patrons a drink. A patron slings a drink at Lucius.
Oluwande joins Jim at the bar, where they meet Geraldo (Fred Armisen). Geraldo warns Oluwande about visiting the pub. Oluwande tells him that he figured he would be dead by now. Geraldo says he thought the same thing. Oluwande interduces Jim as a mute. Geraldo orders him to speak with Spanish Jackie (Leslie Jones) alone.
Oluwande greets Jackie in a high-pitched voice. As he takes a seat across from her, she offers him the seat next to hers. They discuss how he recommended a waitress who ended up murdering her husband. She calls Bonifacia a “bitch” who stole her joy. He denies having anything to do with the killing. Cocking her gun, she asks where Bonifacia is hiding. She reminds him that he left the Republic of Pirates when Bonificia left. Raising his voice, he admits to killing her. She asks if he would like to invite Jim over to the table. He reluctantly motions him to join them.
Stede orders a round of wine. Geraldo tells him there is no wine. He looks around the room before ordering him and Lucius a drink. After taking a sip, he says it is good. Geraldo informs him that the drink is from the “nose jar.” He explains how Jackie collects noses from pirates who misbehave. Stede and Lucius spit out their drink. Izzy Hands joins the conversation, telling them he knows a couple of allies in the nose jar. He informs Stede of Blackbeard wanting to speak with him. Stede tells him to get in line behind all the other people who want a piece of the Gentleman Pirate. Izzy Hands asks if he is refusing Blackbeard’s offer. He tells him to tell his boss to “go suck eggs in hell.”
Jackie toasts her deceased husband. She is pulled away for business. Oluwande suggests they leave, Jim agrees, but knocks over his drinks and runs away.
A Card Player (Pingi Moli) offers Stede 20 doubloons for Hornberry. Thinking the offer is low, Stede claims to have another offer on the table. Lucius asks if he is referring to the prostitute’s offer. Another Card Player (Ronnie Clark) offers him 50 doubloons. The two card players get into a bidding war until one tosses his cards at the other. While the two card players fight, Stede assures Lucius it is just a bidding war. He changes his mind when the fight becomes more violent.
Jim stares at the shrine of Jackie’s husband. She says he is responsible for killing her family. She checks the corpse for her dagger when Jackie enters. She accuses him of being a thief in a flirty way. When the card players continue to fight, Stede agrees to intervene. Jackie backs Him up to a post. She tells him to calm down while rubbing her hands all over his face. Stede being shoved into a table gets Jackie’s attention. Stede asks Lucius to help him pick up Jackie’s noses when she places her dagger under his nose. She demands that he identify himself. Lucius says he is the Gentleman Pirate. She warns the “Genital Pirate” that she is preparing to create a new nose jar. Geraldo informs her that Izzy Hands visited earlier to invite Stede to speak with his boss. She questions what Blackbeard would want with Stede. Stede is cast out by Jackie, herself.
Izzy Hands tells Blackbeard that Stede refuses to meet him. Blackbeard asks him if Stede knows who is talking about when he says boss. He relays Stede’s message about sucking eggs in hell to him.
Stede tells Lucius he may not be cut out for pirating like him. Hornsberry assures him that anyone could’ve broken the nose jar. Stede agrees. Ghoulish Man (Dan Considine) approaches to ask Stede about Hornsberry. Stede asks if he wants to acquire his hostage. Ghoulish Man says he is only interested in specific pieces of Hornsberry. He agrees to be responsible for the disassembly. Hornsberry asks Stede if he is considering the offer. Stede assures him it isn’t something he would consider. Geraldo points his gun at the Ghoulish Man who takes off running. He tells Stede he is impressed with how he handled Jackie. Stede partially agrees with him. Geraldo asks them to do something for him.
Bonifacia tells Oluwande about her experience with Jackie. Lucius knocks on the door to ask about her dagger. He asks if her last name is Jimenez. She acknowledges it is her name. He hands over her dagger. He contributes his finding it to his former pickpocketing days. She calls him a good friend before laying a kiss on him.
Buttons alerts Stede of an approaching vessel. Geraldo informs Stede that the owner of the vessel is the Spanish Navy. Stede asks if the Spanish sailors are friendly. Geraldo assures him they are before suggesting they be quick. He chooses to take Jim with them because of his tough appearance.
While riding out to meet the Spanish Navy ship, Stede tells Geraldo that Roach prepared them some food. As they board the ship, Stede orders Lucius to sketch him. El Otro (Carlos Arellano) greets him. He looks around to see his crew is hostage. El Otro stabs him in the stomach. As the crew is being taken away, Geraldo orders them to bring Jim back. Roach screams when he pulls away Jim’s mask and beard. They are all shocked that he is actually a woman. She spits in Geraldo’s face. He isn’t in the least offended by her behavior. He explains how Jackie identified her immediately.
Stede stands on a crate, with a noose around his neck. He asks if anyone has something to say before he dies. Jim calls him the worst pirate captain ever. When El Capitan (Nacho Vigalondo) asks Stede if that is his last words, his crew cracks up laughing. As a fight breaks out, Stede is left dangling from a noose. He sees his children, Louis Bonnet (William Barber-Holler), Alma Bonnet (Eden Grace Redfield), and his wife, Mary Bonnet (Claudia O’Doherty) as he hangs by the neck. Someone cuts his rope, sending his body crashing to the ground. Blackbeard greets Stede as the Gentleman Pirate. Stede asks if he has heard of him. He acknowledges having heard of him as the episode comes to an end.
Our Flag Means Death Review
Not the best episode, but decent. Hopefully, the writers haven’t run out of quirky jokes. The scenes were a bit too long for my liking. I feel the trip to the Republic of Pirates was wasted. So much more could have been done to improve the episode.
While the episode is only 30 minutes, it seemed like 45.
The cinematography and acting are great, just the screenplay needs work. I would like to see more of the crew. By reducing the number of new characters added each episode, the main cast could get more airtime.
It seems Stede is saved once again. This time, it’s the heroic pirate, Blackbeard who comes to the rescue. Everyone knows Jim is a woman. Will the crew accept or banish her?
If you are looking for a historically accurate pirate series, look elsewhere. If you are looking for a laugh, this show is for you.
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Jay Skelton is a fan of all television shows and movies. He tries his best to keep up with the latest foreign television shows and movies. Jay loves skinny dipping in the dark too.
