Having just arrived in Britain and battling jet lag, the episode begins with Austin Hogan (Michael Theo) treating Julian (Ben Miller) and Ingrid Harstwood (Sally Phillips) to sandwiches. Ingrid briefly teaches him about English customs before quickly discovering that she doesn’t share their refined palettes.
Mel (Gia Carides) and Bill Hogan (Roy Billing) spend the morning reading Austin’s travel updates and sarcastically talking about separation anxieties while Julian learns about Ingird’s lunch date with (Kate Elliott) and Yolanda Cox (Charlotte Nicdao). It becomes clear that he feels left out but lucky for him, Austin, once again, already has their entire day planned, beginning with a bespoke Billie Piper (Billie Piper) Tour. Austin offers Julian an out before meeting with their eccentric guide, Gawain (Jim Howick), who has admittedly only ever spoken to Billie in passing.
Things certainly don’t improve when a call from Heidi alerts him that he and Big Bear have become the centerpieces of the Nazi movement. Her assurances are she is working with a defamation lawyer who specializes in ‘online cleaning’ do little to appease his anxiety. Later during the part of the tour dedicated to Billie’s battle with insomnia, Julian learns about a very brief window for a meeting with Heidi’s specialist at Shephard’s Bush. Julian’s attempts to subtly steer the tour in that direction fail and continue to do so.
Despite Ingrid walking away from the Nazi debacle unscathed, her lunch meeting with Heidi couldn’t have gone worse. She not only learns that Heidi doesn’t approve of most of her ideas for the new book but is vehemently against her authoring it. Even a ghostwriter appears to be out of the question.
Things go from bad to worse when Julian is verbally accosted by a random passerby (Ryan Westington) for his ‘racist’ beliefs. Feeling out of options, he abandons the tour and immediately regrets it after remembering Mel’s threats. His worries certainly aren’t helped when a few phone calls later, he learns that Gawain’s Bespoke Tour is practically nonexistent. Feling out of options, he eventually phones Mel for assistance which goes about as well as expected. Despite the time difference, she and Bill immediately make arrangements to travel to Britain.
At nearly the same time, Gwain’s tour makes its final stop at what appears to a hotel/restaurant where Billie supposedly frequents while writing. Much to his surprise, he not only ends up at the table adjacent to Billie’s but she gives him some priceless advice about becoming a writer.
By this time, Ingrid has joined Julian’s search for Austin. It doesn’t take them long to track him to the restaurant/hotel but he ends up looking senile when he tells them about meeting Billie, who has suspiciously disappeared. Billie appears disappointed when she returns from the bathroom to find Austin gone.
The episode ends with Billie finding the note that Austin left, promising to never tell a sole that he met her.
Austin Review
I can’t say the episode was totally horrible. It was by no means great, but I did like the tour bit as well as Austin’s strange encounter with Billie. The prospect of her becoming a regular and possible love interest is intriguing as well. I’m still not thrilled or intrigued with the racism but I do understand the need for it. I’d give the episode a 5 out of 10.
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