As the episode begins, Vincent Swan (Ed Westwick) takes Robbie (Bobby Smalldridge) for a ride. Robbie pleads with his dad to stop, so he can use the bathroom. Vincent refuses and learns that the other parents hate him. Then, they discuss the legality of Vincent’s line of work. Eventually, Robbie convinces Vincent to pull the car to the side of the road, so he can use the bathroom. Meanwhile, Brian (James Buckley) plays around on a CB radio. Martin (Joe Thomas) and Vincent notice. They ask him his CB handle and learn that it is Widow Maker. They immediately begin pestering Brian for his hobby and cheesy handle. Then, Vincent and Martin enlists Carol’s help. They use Carol (Lauren O’Rourke) to set up a date with Brian on the CB radio.
That night, the trio meets with Brian and gives him the bad news. He doesn’t take the joke well. Instead, he begins sobbing. Brian tells the boys about his wife, Maureen (Harriet Webb), and how she drives him crazy. It is explained that she has a thyroid problem and that has caused her to balloon up. Vincent hooks up Brian with a hooker. Brian bangs her on Tony’s desk. In the morning, Tony (Nigel Lindsay) ridicules Vincent after finding stains on his desk. Vincent takes Miss Lyndsey (Saffron Hocking) to Tony’s office as well. On the way out of the store, Lyndsey runs into Sam (Linzey Cocker). Sam quickly becomes suspicious of Vincent’s relationship with her son’s teacher.
Vincent pretends he was trying to see the teacher some new windows. Then, he gets a call from a news paper editor from the Essex Chronicle. He learns that the paper has the intention of making him Entrepreneur of the Year. He tells the others about the nomination and immediately begins celebrating. He visits Tony and asks him to pay for the trip to the awarding. He also puts up advertising outside of the store and puts an article in the local paper bragging about his business success. Moments later, Sam and Vincent arrive at the party. Vincent runs into Andrew Davies (Jack Doolan). They chat briefly, while bickering back and forth.
Meanwhile, Brian and Martin chat with Tony’s wife, Tracey (Lisa Gorgin). Maureen continues to interrupt and immediately makes everyone hate her. Maureen makes a comment about Vincent and the teacher. This ticks off Sam. She chats with Martin and they discuss Maureen’s attitude. Moments later, Vincent gets a mouthful from Sam. Then, he hits the bathroom and snorts coke to prepare for the award ceremony. Then, he returns and the stage is set. The announcement is made and Andrew Davies is named the winner. Vincent doesn’t hear and takes the stage anyway. He winds up looking foolish. When he returns to his table, he learns that Brian set it all up as a joke.
Vincent becomes furious. He forces Tony to fire Brian. Then, Vincent leaves. On the way out, he is stopped by Miss Barnes (Lorraine Bruce). She gives him the tax bill for 50,000 pound. Then, things turn worse when Sam and Vincent get in the vehicle. Sam forces Vincent to tell her the truth about the teacher. He drops her off at home and leaves. Sam is comforted by the kids, as the episode ends.
White Gold Review
This episode of White Gold was entertaining from start to finish. It was rude, crude and a little filthy. Nevertheless, it was definitely a good time. The episode tried to get a little serious there in the end. For the entire series, it hasn’t felt like Vincent cared too much about his wife or kids. Why would that change now?
With a show like White Gold, it is best not to think about it too much. Just sit back and enjoy the stupidity. This episode scores a 7 out of 10. Catch up with previous recaps of White Gold now.