Okay, we start off right where we were left last week, with the cannibals eating Bob. Not much going on. Gareth rambling on about something another and this and that. So Bob finally delivers the famous “tainted meat” line. It doesn’t come off, as very effective. Welp, goodbye Bobby! Say, “Hello”, to T-Dog in the after life.
Somebody turn on the lights! Oh, this is a first! Night Vision! Heavy breathing. More heavy breathing. Rick, Sasha and Tyreese roaming the woods. They magically teleport back to the church and Reverend Gabriel. Forget about missing Bob, Daryl and Carol. Don’t worry guys, he always locks the doors at night. No way would anybody get in that steel fortress! Sounds like Police State, which is coming in 2015 and features Seth Gilliam! Well, he does always lock the doors. Did I mention that Father Gabriel always locks….wait something is HAPPENING! Bob lying on the grass! Gun shots! Nationwide is on your side!!!
Back to the church and the group discovers Gareth is behind the attack. Bob asking for a mercy killing. Or not? Gabriel knows the woods fairly well to be locked up all the time. Time for a reality check! Food? Formula? Medicine? Ammo? Potty Breaks? Should I stay or should I go now? Sheamus is taking the bus Rick! Step back! So they stay! Welp, Bobby is still hanging on. Untold Stories of the ER: Zombie Edition? Typical TWD, Bob should have turned or died by now.
Commercials, commercials, AMC’s Andrea flashback with Michonne, more commercials. Any minute now….What exactly are these people capable of? They want to chat with you, while they eat you. Can they kill you and eat your zombie corpse? They’re sitting ducks! Go red team go! And Bob is going to transform in 3…..2……1. 3……2……..1……..maybe not. Mercy kill incoming. Have they forgotten what happens when someone dies? Is Bob The Walking Dead’s very own Murphy?
Carl locked and loaded! So much for a stealthy entry. Gareth sure likes to run his mouth. Who does this guy work for? The NSA? Wait! Why weren’t the doors locked? Is the reverend already dead too? Never mind! Locked Door. Trap incoming!!! Uh oh! He’s going to start speaking in tongues! Judith to the rescue! Come on Rick and crew, your slipping! 10k would’ve already wiped out these cannibals!
Commercials….fast forward…..fast forward….*squint*. Ah no! This function has been temporary disabled. Dang you Comcast/AMC! And we’re back. And they’re dead. Gareth with a sob speak that nobody cares about. Okay…..well…..that was interesting. I guess we’re supposed to be shocked by the violence? Yawn! Then when allow Bob to wallow in pain for 2 hours? Father Gabriel, with a calm and collected voice chants, “The power of Christ compels you!”. And back to commercials.
Rob Lowe as Rob Lowe as Rob Lowe? Really clever DirectTV. PARTY HARD PARTY HARD PARTY HARD PARTY HARD! Talking Dead!!!! For those, who can’t understand the utter silliness of the show and a great way to carry on the massive ratings. Back to Bob. Somebody give that man some Jim Beam. The Walking Dead could really use a Doc right about now. Rick is going to cry over silly dialogue, after slaughtering people in a church. Flip flop, flip flop! It’s morning and Bob still ain’t turned? MERCY KILL!!!! Wow Tyreese! That blade went through his skull like butter!
Funeral time! Is the group going to split? With 5 minutes left, something is bound to stop all this nonsense. Cullen Bohannan and Elam Ferguson digging graves. Few minutes left….big surprise incoming! It’s the Boondocks! Filthy Daryl emerges from the woods. And it’s all over.
Well, let’s recap everything. Bob is dead. Gabriel loves locked doors. Gareth and the cannibals are pretty much dead. The group split into two and that’s about it. A lot happened, but not much happened really. Sadly, the tainted meat scene was unfortunately lacking. AMC seems to be working on the pacing of the show, which might be a problem. Things are being lumped together too quickly and preventing viewers from developing interests and attachments to new characters. Overall, it was a decent episode and nothing spectacular. Still, this episode was likely the weakest this season. I’d give it a 7 out of 10 generously.