Constantine Pilot Review

Constantine TV Show

Wow! What was happening in that first scene? A good old fashioned lobotomy? Psychotic mumbling from Matt Ryan? Giant cockroaches! Cheesy special effects? Call me hooked! Wait….Matt Ryan? Who is that again? Wait just a second. Let me go check out IMDB. Oh! That guy! Oh never mind, here comes Harold Perrineau, as an incredibly scary….angel? Let’s just hope he makes it through the first episode, before being eaten by a zombie baby. Here baby baby baby.

Through the first commercial break, the show is definitely holding my attention. The pace moves along quite swiftly and the show doesn’t dilly dally on one subject for too long. I know some have criticized the pace, but aren’t we a little sick of the drawn out pace of certain shows? So far, we’ve seen an exorcism, an angel and a pit opening to hell. What could be next?

Argh! Let me catch my breath! This show doesn’t slow down. Vans running into stores. An exorcist zombie on a van. An albino ghost man or something? Burning Ring of Fire? Heck yeah! Oh wait! Got Dang Semi Truck!!!! Wait a minute. Is Const talking to a snake wire or did we just get budget cuts in the pilot? This isn’t AMC is it? Oh man, will we get a new show runner during the commercial break? Welp, looks like we’re gonna be stuck in that taxi for a few episodes.

Well, that was rather quick. Ancient history, dancing blood droplets and Damon Pope/Augustus Hill stopping the rain? Ignore the mindless dialogue. You can’t understand the lines from Matt Ryan. I will have to watch this again thirty minutes after it airs. By then, the Pirate Bay will likely have a torrent with subtitles anyway. Sorry NBC.

Matt Ryan is pulling out all the stops now! He’s really trying hard, isn’t he? Calm down lil fella! There’s always next episode. Oh! Nice skyscrapers! Is this Gotham? We’re starting to slow down a little. That’s definitely a shocker. Oh shat! Did he just melt…transform that guy into…himself, with prayer? Where is my Bible? Mom!!!! Argh…….Gotta get out of this dang basement. Is that handsome Matt Ryan and demonized Matt Ryan? Holy heck, this show has the two best known actors in Hollywood now.

Welp, definitely a cool ending. Hands in flames and comic book girl? Mockie likey! Glad he got rid of his lighter, since it is NBC and all. Better stop advertising those Big Macs too!

In all seriousness, the show was definitely worth watching. So far, Matt Ryan does a pretty good job, despite being a relative unknown. I think he’ll pull it together with a little time. The effects are good enough and the content is definitely strong, otherwise we wouldn’t have tons of comics and a movie staring Neo. Might as well stick with it for a few more episodes at least. I’d get it a 7 out of a 10.

Find more of our Constantine TV Show reviews.

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